‘Just promise me you’ll be careful,’ Susannah whispered to Kate. ‘Don’t get into any trouble with Matthew Young.’
‘Of course not!’ Kate sounded shocked. ‘You should know I’d never do something like that!’
They lay in silence for a while before Kate spoke again.
‘I just love the way he kisses me,’ she breathed out. ‘I feel like I’m in a movie.’
Susannah couldn’t help thinking about the horrible kisses Silas had given her. How they had felt aggressive and not close to romantic. Deep down, she did want to be touched, and admired too, but she’d never met any boy who made her feel that way. Would she ever?
10
Emer
15th October 2011
Emer left Susannah in her study, typing away. Even the rhythmic clickety-clack of the typewriter sounded annoyed with her. Despite Susannah having backtracked and agreed she could stay after Emer had stupidly spilt her coffee on those papers, it was still clear Susannah would rather she wasn’t there. Emer couldn’t help wondering whether if Rebecca had hired her, Susannah would have been so resistant. She felt Susannah’s constant disapproval of Lynsey and wondered if somehow it coloured how Susannah treated her.
Best to leave Susannah on her own for the moment. Really, there was nothing much for her to do. She’d cleaned the whole house top to bottom the day before.
Emer slipped out of the front door, grabbing her bag on the way. The early morning sun was now concealed by a light blanket of shifting clouds. She felt the odd drop on her cheeks but the rain held back, the air fragrant with fall – fading geraniums, crisping leaves on the sidewalk, the faint salty tang from the ocean. Apart from the odd pick-up truck passing her by, all was quiet. As she wound her way down the hill, past all the quaint wooden houses of Vinalhaven, she was astounded yet again by how perfect her surroundings appeared. If the houses weren’t painted white, they were bright shades of blue, green, yellow, dove grey or even red. The gardens were well tended, and the trees fulsome and golden. She had never seen so many white picket fences. The houses, though smaller, were similar to those in Quincy in Boston where she’d lived with Orla and Ethan, but in other ways Vinalhaven was so different. A miniature, storybook version of old America. One she was certain her sister would have loved.
But now, after her argument with Susannah, Emer felt like she belonged here even less than when she’d arrived a few days ago. She was tempted to head right to the ferry terminal and hop on the next boat back to the mainland. But that would be running away, which she had done before. She knew it would make her feel even worse to do that.
Of course she couldn’t go right now. Her things were at Susannah Olsen’s house. Besides, she had nowhere to go. Even so, she found herself heading out of town towards the ferry terminal. On her left was a wharfside row of stores and business, fishing tackle shops and a yoga studio side by side. She spied a small diner.
Emer sat down by the window and sipped her mug of black coffee. Susannah had completely overreacted when Emer knocked the coffee over her papers, but then Emer’s own reaction had been so pathetic. What would Orla have done? Charmed Susannah, of course. Everyone warmed to Orla. Their personalities were so opposite. It should have been Orla who was the caring nurse, and Emer the dedicated artist, not the other way around. Really, Emer couldn’t think of a soul who didn’t like her sister. She’d been furious with her stepmother when she’d made that comment at Orla’s funeral: only the good die young. They’d only just buried Orla, and were walking back to the limo when she’d said it. Emer had been in a kind of cold, shocked trance the whole day. Unable even to shed a tear. As if she’d been outside of her body. But Sharon’s remark had inflamed her.
‘Your sister’s with your ma now, Emer,’ Sharon had continued, ‘and they’re with the angels.’
Emer had wanted to punch Sharon in her big, fat, pitying face. What a condescending cow! What good was it to Emer to know her mam and her sister were with the angels? Did she even believe in angels? But now, weeks later, Emer had to admit there was some truth in Sharon’s words. Her sister and her mam had been the good ones. Emer and her dad the bad – well, the selfish – two in the family. Her mam had brought out the worst in Daddy, as if her humility ignited his pride. At least Sharon was a match for him. It had been a source of great amusement for both sisters to see their dad running around Sharon whenever they visited them in Boston. Complete role reversal. At times it had made Emer cross though. Why couldn’t Dad have been that attentive with their mam? Taken her out for meals? Brought her on sunny holidays in expensive resorts?
Orla drew out the best in Emer. She’d brought all the families together at her wedding to Ethan. Made sure everyone got on. Over a couple of awkward Christmases back home, Orla had smoothed things out with Sharon, helped Emer accept their dad would never give them the support they craved.
‘He’s just not able,’ Orla had told Emer. ‘Let him
