“Listen to me,” he said. “You have to listen to me.” Sawyer wiped his face. “The kids are new in my life. My father died, and he left their guardianship to me. Two weeks ago. I found out two weeks ago. I didn’t lie because I don’t have children with anyone… Okay, maybe I did hide them from you, but it hasn’t been from the very beginning. I know I should have told you, but I was scared.”
“Whoa… what?” Ford’s eyes widened. Okay, that lowered his boiling anger to a momentary simmer. “Your father? The one you never knew?”
Sawyer nodded. “It was a shock to me, too, I swear.”
Sawyer’s dad had left his mom before he was born, and to his knowledge, Sawyer had never met the man.
Ford’s heart rate slowed a little. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He wrapped his arms around himself. “My mind went to the worst place. I thought you’d probably found someone else and you were screwing them or something. It felt like you were trying to ghost me and I wasn’t getting the hint.” He held Sawyer’s gaze. “And why would you be too scared to tell me?”
“Can we maybe not have this conversation on the sidewalk?” Sawyer rubbed the back of his neck. “Please, just give me a chance to explain.”
Ford nodded and followed Sawyer back inside. He did his best not to look at anyone in case they’d witnessed his break down. It would serve him right if someone recorded him and put him on YouTube.
Sawyer led them to a seating area opposite the concierge’s desk. When they were both sitting, Sawyer looked him in the eye.
“This has been a lot to deal with.” Sawyer started, the sentence coming out shaky.
Fuck, Ford had never seen Sawyer so insecure.
“I didn’t want you to leave me.” Sawyer shrugged and looked away. “I was avoiding the inevitable because I was sure that once you found out, you would be gone.”
Ford’s mouth hung open, and he reached out and touched Sawyer’s knee. “Why? Why would you think I would leave?”
Sawyer looked down at where Ford’s hand was, then back at him as he mumbled, “I thought it’d be too much for you.”
Ford moved over to the same sofa that Sawyer was on, and Sawyer scooted up for him. “I would... it wouldn’t have been too much. It would have been a surprise, yes, but we would have figured it out.” Ford knew he wanted to be with Sawyer, and if that meant Sawyer came as a package deal, that was fine with him. “You know I want kids. You should have told me and let me decide… you should have trusted me.” He made sure Sawyer was looking at him. “Us.”
Ford ignored the voice in his head that pointed out that he hadn’t trusted in them.
“This wouldn’t have scared me away.” Ford chuckled since he could now, “Thinking you were sleeping with someone else… that scared me away.”
Sawyer managed a small laugh, all the while shaking his head. “I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else. You mean more to me than anyone.” Sobering, he looked into Ford’s eyes as he spoke. “I’m so sorry I didn’t let you know as soon as I found out. For avoiding you. I wasn’t honest,” Sawyer wiped his face with his hand, “I lied to you during the call right after the social worker told me about my siblings, but it made me so sick it was just easier to not answer your calls anymore. I hope you can forgive me for that one day.”
Ford felt a wave of relief wash over him. He leaned in and kissed Sawyer. God, he’d missed him.
Sawyer pulled back, “I’m sorry babe. I’m sorry I lied.”
“We'll be fine, I promise. It’s going to take me a bit to cool down, and I am disappointed that you didn’t have faith in me that I’d stick around, I guess I somewhat understand since your father did the same thing. Besides, maybe my trust was shaky too.” He raised his fingers holding them close together. “Just a little.”
Ford had no plans of running. He was going to find a way to make things work because he loved Sawyer. But he realized that they still needed to work on their communication and trust. Apparently, love didn't make those things automatically appear.
10
Sawyer
Sawyer closed his eyes for a moment. God, it felt like a weight had been lifted.
It was more than a relief that Ford was so understanding about the kids, but Sawyer hated that he’d nearly broken them apart.
He knew that they still needed to have a bigger conversation, but Sawyer swore never to hold back again. He would be forthcoming with Ford in the future no matter what the case was.
He held on to Ford even after they broke their kiss. He wasn’t ready to let go. Sawyer had been so sure that he would lose Ford once he told him, but he didn’t. He should have spoken up a long time ago, but the thought of losing what they had... it was unbearable, so he’d kept his mouth shut. In the long run, that had almost cost him everything anyhow.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” Sawyer held on to Ford tightly.
Ford’s body shook in his arms as he laughed. Sawyer leaned back so he could look him in the eye. “I thought someone was staking a claim on my man.” Ford could joke about it now. “Of course I’m here.
“Never!” He wasn’t interested in anyone else. He brushed a kiss on Ford’s lips. God, he’d missed him. When he finally pulled back, he put his forehead against Ford’s and whispered, “Do you want to meet the kids?”
Ford nibbled on his lips. “Will they like me?”
“Well, Savanna doesn’t like anyone much. I’m hoping that Gavin has his clothes on now. Then there’s little Callum… you may have to get used to all your clothes having stains.”
Ford laughed and nodded at Sawyer’s t-shirt. “You mean
