I obliged and got a spank on the backside as I strode past him into our gray and white bubble of snuggles.
Giggling, I pulled off my ruined jumper, then my vest. I was planning on hitting the shower when Dean pounced. We landed on the bed. He took my arms and pinned them above my head, straddling me, the tip of his nose touching mine.
“You’ll get vamp dust on the bed.”
Those dark eyes were loaded with hunger. He kissed me, his tongue invading my mouth. I welcomed every inch of it, he worked my lips with his until he ended the kiss, sitting up.
His fingers drew circles on my chest. There was a seriousness to his expression, along with the wicked desire in his eyes I was so familiar with.
“What’s the matter?” My hands were on his denim-clad thighs.
He pushed back his hair into a messy quiff. “That was messed up. All the bad thoughts started up when you fell down that hole. For a moment, I thought that was it, that we’d crossed a line, and I was about to lose you.”
“Don’t be daft. I’m not going anywhere.”
He sighed. “You say that, but my brain goes crazy. I couldn’t stand it, Jake. You trapped in those tunnels knowing those things were down there. I was so … helpless.”
I propped myself up on my elbows. “What’re you talking about? You’re anything but helpless, treacle.”
He smiled. “I wasn’t there.”
“Yes, you were.”
“Not straight away. You were down there on your own with those fucking things. Away from me, alone.”
“Sonny was there.”
God. I couldn’t stand that look on his face, that crippling weight on his shoulders radiating through his slender features. His eyes really were portals into his soul. I knew them all—lust, pain, mischief, happiness.
“Dean …”
“I didn’t know that. What if Sonny hadn’t been there with you? What if the broken vampires had torn into you, and I found you ripped open? Dead? I saw it, Jake. I saw you dead. Your eyes staring up, so much blood.” He closed his eyes. “And I wasn’t there to protect you. I let you fall and get away from me, and I saw you dead.”
I pushed myself up, so he was effectively sitting in my lap. I held him, resting my cheek against his shoulder. The damage was still there from his time in Coldharbour. I wished I had the glue to fill the cracks and press him back together again. But trauma wasn’t so easily fixed, not even after four years. I was a worrier by nature, but he took things to another level. He didn’t often talk about it, but when he did, he could get graphic in what his imagination conjured up. It would often involve me or Lou, terrible things that broke his heart when the images burned across his eyes, him helpless to stop them. Thank God for Mila’s potions when the moments got bad.
I wrapped myself around him. “You don’t have to protect me all the time.”
“I want to.”
“I know. Feeling’s mutual.”
He still saw himself as my guardian—once his official duty back in Coldharbour.
“It’s my job to protect you just as much as you do me,” I added. “We’re a team.”
His hands rested on my back. “I just can’t stand it.”
“I’m fine, right? No harm done. Sonny came through, and I’m still in one piece. But don’t worry, I would’ve been okay regardless.”
At least, I hoped that was true. It was a bit of a close one, me unable to get the upper hand. That seriously pissed me off, but I held it back. It was done. We wouldn’t be going anywhere near that vamp wanker again.
Shame I couldn’t actually guarantee that. I’d bloody well try, though.
“Breathe,” I told him as his grip on me tightened. “It’s okay. I’m okay. We’re all okay. Maybe you should take the morning off. Stay home. Mila can wait.”
He sighed heavily. “No, I’d better not. It’s not professional.”
“Fuck being professional.”
“No. We’re not those sorts of people.”
“I know. You’re right.”
“I’m fine. Just fucked up.”
“Don’t say that.”
His hands slid up my back to my head, fingers entwining with my hair. I met his gaze.
“I love you, Jake.” He kissed me, so soft and tender.
“I love you too.”
Our position changed, him getting to his feet. I sat up on the edge of the bed, him staring down at me. Slowly, he pulled off his coat, dropping it to the carpet. Next came his black jumper, then the white thermal vest.
I drank him in, all toned muscle like a gymnast, that beautiful body all mine. He was stunning. The first time I’d ever laid eyes on him, I’d sat up and paid attention.
My hero, my lover, my everything.
Dean unbuttoned his jeans, teasingly working the fly down to reveal his black underwear and his excitement.
He stood like that for a moment, then slid his jeans down to his ankles.
“Is that for me?” I nodded to his groin.
“Might be.”
“Erm, was that an absolute yes I just heard?”
He winked. “Follow me and find out.”
Waddling like a penguin, he made his way to the bedroom door.
I laughed so loud I had to cover my mouth. “Sorry,” my response came muffled.
He was watching me over his shoulder. “You won’t find out if you keep that volume up.” He wiggled his backside. “And that would be a real shame.”
Dean opened the door a crack.
I was on my feet, hard and ready. The horrible bit was done. He wanted to move on. Me too. I needed to be lost in him.
He put a finger to his lips and waddled out of the door.
Suppressing another laugh, I followed.
We crept along the floorboards to the bathroom. Well, I crept, he shuffled.
Once inside, we couldn’t keep our hands off one another. The door closing and locking was the sound of release. His underwear was gone, the rest of my clothes coming off next. Naked, we embraced, hands and lips going to every inch of one another until we paused to turn on the
