Her purse was in the closet by the elevators. Loitering around the men and their poisonous secrets wasn’t an attractive prospect. Shyla needed to breathe. Leaving the laundry room, she didn’t bother to look their way on her walk to the elevators or after retrieving her purse. She pressed the call button and waited with her back to the room.
“Shyla,” Beeks said. “You shouldn’t leave.”
“Why? Because I might meet a McDade who wants to kill me? According to you, that’s going to happen no matter what I do. I knew they wouldn’t like me. I had no idea they’d hate me so much they’d want me dead.”
“It isn’t about that. It doesn’t matter if they like you. If I thought that was the only problem—”
“Then what?” she asked, whirling around to address the men. “If this isn’t only about me not being good enough for the McDades, then what is it about?”
Although the tension in the air was still thick, there were fewer frowns exchanged when the three men glanced around at each other. Score was the one she settled on. Even from a distance away, she could read the warning in his expression.
Nobody was going to answer her. Score didn’t want her to know and that was enough to keep Beeks and Fish quiet.
In the weeks she’d worked for Score, Shyla had believed that the three men cared about her, that they were becoming closer. But it was an illusion. McDades aside, the three men came from the same world. Different angles of it, sure, but the same world. Shyla wasn’t from that world. No matter how much she thought the trio were welcoming her or she believed she was adjusting to her new life, it wasn’t real. Nothing was real.
The elevator opened behind her. None of the men even looked at her as she went inside and selected her floor. She had no idea where she was going; she just couldn’t be there any longer. Shyla had to make some decisions and she had to make them fast.
Shyla did consider going somewhere far from the building. But the alcohol of the in-house bar beckoned. Without any real thought, her finger hit the button for that floor. For a woman who hadn’t ever been much of a drinker, the oblivion alcohol could offer would be a welcome break from reality.
The plan was to have a couple of drinks, just enough to loosen her up, then she’d go for a walk in the evening air to clear her head. Like that was possible. Shyla didn’t know who to trust anymore. Score had been right when he said she couldn’t trust her feelings.
Sleeping with Score, saying goodbye to Stan, then dealing with Mick being Mick, it all took its toll. Being in Score’s bed had blinded her to reality. It hadn’t been deliberate. She hadn’t meant to be naive or fall into some ridiculous dream that everything was going to be perfect. Crashing back to Earth wasn’t easy or painless. So, after gulping down her first drink, she ordered another.
The sound of the stool next to her moving almost made her groan. With an elbow on the bar, she turned intending to tell whoever was joining her to go away. But upon seeing Beeks, she curled her lips into her mouth, waiting to hear what he’d say.
At least one thing had become clear from the mess she’d created: filling a silence got in the way of others’ confessions. Not that Score had ever planned to confess to her. In that moment, it wasn’t clear if she knew him at all or if she ever had.
The bartender came over with a drink for her. Beeks paid for it and ordered one for himself.
Then the lawyer turned to her. “Shyla—”
“I was just leaving,” she said, trying to slip off her stool, doubting that she was ready to hear what he might have to say.
He put a hand on the back to stall her. “You just ordered a drink… You didn’t plan to drink it?”
Snatching the glass, she tossed the scotch into her throat and then slammed it down. Closing her eyes, Shyla braced against the heat burning in her throat. Scotch was a heavy introduction to pain-relief, but it was what she was used to drinking with Score.
Score… She should drink something that didn’t remind her of being with him.
“Shyla, you didn’t have to leave the apartment. We can—”
“What? Talk it out? No one wanted to talk to me. I gave you all the chance; no one wants to be honest. Let’s face it, there’s no point in bothering with the small talk. I fucked my boss, and I can’t be with my boss, which pretty much means I’m out of a job.”
Her outburst came before she’d really faced that reality. As the truth sank in, some of her anger ebbed.
“No one suggested you had to leave your job either.”
Sighing, she sagged in her stool, slumping onto her tired arms. “I didn’t think this through,” she murmured.
Since starting her job there, any thoughts about the future featured Score. Featured her and him together. Now it was seeming that wasn’t possible, the alternative wasn’t a rosy picture.
Frustrated with herself, she should’ve taken Score’s hints. From what he’d said, more than once, their chance of a future together was unlikely. The words all and only played on repeat in her mind. Those were the words that always reverberated whenever she had doubts.
Shyla had ignored the truth because she didn’t want to face it. Wanting to be together wasn’t the same as actually being together.
Score was complicated, she’d always known that. She just hadn’t accepted how complicated a relationship
