"Fuck." I seem to be swearing an awful lot more since this man came back into my life.
"He's okay with this. He knows what he's doing."
"That makes one of us," I mutter.
"I know you don't approve, but who else was I supposed to go to? You know I couldn't ask Adam."
Even after all this time, a casual mention of his name is like a knife in my heart. I must have visibly grimaced because Will's voice immediately softens. "He just doesn't have the self-control needed."
And don't we all know it. "How much does he know?" I thumb over my shoulder in the direction of the living room.
"That we've known each other for decades. At first, he thought we'd, you know." Will gives a short laugh, which sounds forced, but it's enough to at least begin to break the ice.
"As if," I murmur. "Ridiculous."
"Yeah, all right, all right. I'm not your type, but I like to think I'm not that hideous." He grins, and it appears more natural than his laugh ever did.
Maybe he's beginning to feel at ease in this situation. "Anyway, I explained we'd never..."
"Did he ask why?"
"I thought saying 'because Nathan was involved with someone else who forced him to change and whom he can no longer bear to be reminded of' would be too much."
"Wise decision. So what did you say?"
"That you'd been involved with someone else, it ended badly, and after that, you cut yourself off from our social circle to make a fresh start."
"Did he ask you to define 'end badly'?"
"I let him think it was a normal break-up."
So much intrigue, stretching back decades. I wonder if the full truth will ever come out to everyone involved, and that makes me shudder. It's not a shiver---never that; I can't be disturbed by outside temperatures, after all---but something remarkably similar to discomfort ripples my spine.
There's no reason to suspect Adam will reappear in my life, but I never expected Will to, either.
Sure, we communicated from a distance, but those were the key words: from a distance.
"Are you sure no one knows you're here?" I ask.
"Yes, Nathan. I told you. Several times."
"Okay, okay. Good. Just checking. Didn't Loverboy---" My gaze flicks over to the closed kitchen door.
"His name's Kieran. Kieran Delaney. You know that."
I don't know whether the hint of sarcasm in my voice is anger or jealousy, and I resort to the extremely childish, extremely twenty-first century, "Whatever."
Will raises his brows and says nothing. I notice his fingertips tapping on the worktop, though. No doubt impatience, frustration, and a desire for me to just get on with agreeing to what he asks of me.
"Kieran. Of course. How could I forget? And what does he say about me allegedly stepping away from our former social circle but still keeping in touch with you from time to time?"
"I phrased it as you touching base."
"Wouldn't telling him so much about me---"
"It's not so much, Nathan. Just as much as he needs to know."
"Wouldn't telling him anything about me leave him open to, well, you know. Wouldn't it make it more likely that things would come out and be revealed?" I know I sound paranoid, and I am. I freely admit that.
"I had to tell him something. Too little, and he'd think I was communicating with a secret lover, and I don't want him thinking I'm cheating."
"Heavens." I lift my eyebrows. "It must be serious."
"Don't take the piss, Nathan."
"Hark at you being all 2012," I say, and the sarcasm positively drips off my tongue like some syrupy poison. I don't know what's wrong with me; I'm never normally like this. I'm a stickler for good manners, don't like swearing, have been indulging in profanity rather more than I'd like in recent days, and oh God, it's Will. He's here, and I'm back in the forties, and it's panicking me.
Will's here, and wherever he is, Adam's never far behind.
"Too little, and Kieran would think I was being secretive," Will says, amending his earlier phraseology probably on behalf of my delicate sensibilities.
"Too much, and Adam would be able to track me down."
"You think Kieran would land you in it like that?"
"Adam Locke can be very persuasive."
"I haven't even seen him in ages. He's been keeping his distance." Will takes a step closer and rests his hand on my shoulder. I can't work out if it's a burden or a comfort. "But you know..." He chews his lip, narrows his eyes. This is Will Bosworth searching for the right words again, looking for the most persuasive speech he can make to bring me over to his way of thinking.
"Eventually, he'll show up. He'll see me with Kieran..."
"Oh, don't try to lay a guilt trip on me, William." I shrug off his hand in strong distaste.
"It's not your love life he wants to command."
"That's not what I meant at all."
"No?" Again, I glance at the door, wondering what on Earth is going through Kieran's mind right now.
"No. It isn't. You think I'm laying a guilt trip on you because wah, wah, wah---" he waves his hands in the air like a really bad dancer trying to control his limbs and failing "---if you don't help me change Kieran into a vampire, Adam will get to hear of my human lover, get all jealous that someone else is happy, and try to fuck things up for me by killing him. And when he does that, Kieran will try to save his skin by telling him you're still alive---"
"Actually, I hadn't thought of that. I was stuck on the guilt trip thing and me being the only one you can ask to ensure your eternal bliss with lover ---"
He scowls.
"I mean, with Kieran. It hadn't occurred to me that Kieran might grass me up to stop Adam going crazy at him---"
"Aw, shit." Will's hands drop to his sides, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "I've completely put you off, haven't I?"
"No." The negative flying out of my mouth surprises me as well
