"Why? Why? It can't be because I...what was it you said? Smothered you. Not that. To let me think...after everything we'd been through? You let me think that? You thought it was a good idea to ---?"
"No, Adam. I didn't think at all. All I knew was that you had forced something on me I didn't want, and I needed time to deal with it. Jesus, I was a fucking vampire for goodness' sake. Can't you appreciate how big a change that was for me? Unplanned, unwanted? And I couldn't do a thing about it apart from go out one morning to watch the sun come up, and don't think I didn't consider it many a time."
"What stopped you?"
"Pardon?" I can't believe what I'm hearing.
He almost sounds like he's daring me to do it.
"Honestly. I'm curious. If you didn't want to be a vampire, what stopped you?"
"Because I wanted to live, Adam. Deep down, I wanted to be alive. And I couldn't be. 'Undead' is the next best thing. That's at the heart of it, if you'll pardon the pun. I thought about it seriously in the early days, but I was too weak to do anything on my own, and I had too many people around me who'd have stopped it. And I felt bad for Will. He'd come and visit me at the safe house and---"
"He what?" Adam shoots to his feet, putting me on high alert again. "He visited you?"
"Yes, to make sure I was---"
"All the time he was fobbing me off with excuses about laying low, and spending time apart until the dust settled, and I should go somewhere else for a while, and..." Adam shakes his head, a half-smile playing at his lips. "Incredible. All that time, the pair of you..."
"Honestly, Adam; you speak as if we had an affair."
"And did you?"
"What? What the hell did you just say? No. Never. Jesus. The things you come out with."
"Can you blame me?"
"Actually, yes. Yes, I can. I can blame you for a whole lot of things, and thinking you have the right to make such accusations about my post-death sex life isn't the worst of your sins, so I'll let it fly just the once, but if I hear any more bullshit like this, I'll..."
"You'll what?" The frown returns, and he doesn't take his eyes off me as he approaches. His feet don't make a sound on the thick carpet, reminding me of how talented he is at sneaking up on people. "Walk out on me? Again?"
"Okay, let's get one thing straight. You don't have the right--- legal, moral, or otherwise---to put anyone on a guilt trip over this. Not Will, and certainly not me. He was the one who helped me and kept my survival secret because I begged him to. I didn't want you to know because I knew you'd smother me." Or be a constant reminder of how someone I loved could hurt me. "I didn't want to be around you. I just wanted to get on and lead my own life without you in it, so if you're looking for someone to blame for you not having your little pet around for the past seventy years... Blame. Me. And remember this, Adam Locke: I don't give a damn. I don't give a flying fuck about how much this bothers you because I'm the one who was changed against his will."
"It was Will who changed you; you can't blame me for that."
"I blame you for putting us in that position in the first place. This is your fault, Locke." Just like he did to me earlier, I jab him in the chest with a forefinger, and he stumbles back a step. Physically, I'm not much stronger than him; army training, yes, but death is the great leveller. So it must have been shock that threw him off balance. I didn't hit him, but I made aggressive contact, and that's rarely happened with anyone, let alone Adam himself.
He glares down at my hand, says nothing, then looks back into my eyes, his own positively glowing with defiance. Daring me to go further.
"And the sooner you realise that," I add, still pointing, though no longer making any contact, "the better."
Adam's hand shoots out to grab my own, his grip crushing my fingers, but I won't give him the satisfaction of crying out. "Why now?" he demands, his gaze flicking down to my hand then up to my face. "Why show up tonight, of all nights? Why not just stay in hiding, avoiding me for all eternity?"
"One can't run forever, Adam." I hope the grimace tugging at my face gives the impression of disgust rather than pain.
Something in him must be capable of mercy because he loosens his grip but doesn't let go entirely. I'm sure that's a metaphor for something.
"You made a bloody good go of it."
"We would have run into each other someday. It's a small world."
"Big enough to hide you for seventy years. You've been in the same country, I assume?"
"Within the British Isles, yes."
"For seventy years? Weren't you bored?"
"Looking over one's shoulder for decades on end is excitement enough for me."
"And you've suddenly, for no apparent reason, decided to give in? Force the issue? Why now?" He pauses, the click of his tongue a barely-audible tsk against the silence of the room. No windows mean no traffic noise, and other guests know well enough how to be discreet. "Will. Of course. Something to do with him telling you I hang out at Vlad's." He shakes his head, and his fingers flinch on mine, but he still doesn't let go.
I can't work out why I haven't pulled away.
"So." His gaze meets mine. "You asked him where I was? For what reason?"
I feel the frown wrinkling my brow, uncertainty over how much to say preventing me from answering immediately. If I tell him Will volunteered the information and asked me to
