"You sure reckon yourself very highly, don't you, Locke?" I don't like the way this conversation is going. Last time we had an argument---last time barring the time he tore my throat out, I mean---we ended up having the angriest, most violent, hottest sex in living (or dying) memory.
"I mean, I make you feel good about yourself because while you're guilt-racked for taking someone's life in a way, you can look at me and think well, at least I'm not as bad as him. Not as violent. Am I right? I'm right, aren't I?" He doesn't even look me in the face as he carefully lifts my arms away from each other, unfolding me, before letting go.
I let my hands drop to my sides. Not in that stiff, militaristic stance from earlier. I let him unfold me and am a hair's breadth away from giving in.
"Or. It could be something else."
I lift my eyebrows and give a brief go ahead nod.
"It could well be..." Adam steps closer, and there's not much air between us, hardly any light from the overhead strips or the lamp in the corner.
"You didn't come here to make me feel guilty after all this time."
"No?"
"No. You came here because you do."
Chapter 12
ADAM GRABS MY LAPELS and pulls me toward him; I could resist, but don't. I don't resist because I don't want to, and the first taste of his lips on mine pulls me back into the past in an instant.
Fuck, I needed this, is the only coherent thought running through my mind. His kiss is surprisingly tender, his head tilted slightly and lips brushing over mine. No forceful tongue in my mouth, or fingertips scratching at my scalp, pulling my hair. Adam used to like to lie in bed, one or two of my curls twined around his fingers, and---
"No. Stop." Seconds into a kiss so gentle, it surprises me; I would have thought Adam's would be more aggressive than this. I push him away.
"This is too weird. I don't..."
"Looks like I'm not the only one who's gone straight." One corner of Adam's mouth lifts in a smirk, and the tip of his tongue shoots out to lick his top lip. He's not moistening his lip; he's tasting whatever trace of me is left there.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I'm being a good boy these days. Well, as best I can. And you push me away when I kiss you. Turning straight too, eh, Soldier Boy?"
"Oh, I see. Right. Because the only reason I could say no to you is I'm heterosexual all of a sudden."
"The only reason you'd say no to me is fear."
"I'm not scared of you." It's only partially a lie. He worries me sometimes. But now I'm of the undead too, we're on more equal footing. I could handle him.
"Nathan. You're scared of you and all you are. All we are."
"I didn't come here for this."
"No? Then for what? To torture me with your presence? To say, you know that ghost you've been seeing on and off for years? He's not dead after all; he's real, and now, you know that? You can't have him. No, sorry, Nathan. I'm not buying it. And no, I'm not going to force you into anything. I'm just saying you know you want me. That bulge in your trousers says you do, whether you want to admit it or not. You want to fuck me, even if it's for old time's sake. Or because you're angry. Remember how it went when one of us was angry?" Adam smirks, running a hand over the front of my trousers, and my cock hardens instantly. "Thought so."
"Fuck you."
"Please do, Nathan." He leans in and whispers in my ear, "I know you want to." He nips my earlobe, and I shiver with the memory of what happened before. "You want to fuck me, and I want your cock inside me."
Lightheaded with sheer want, I let my head fall against his, a silent surrender.
"Nathan." He whispers his lips across my skin to my mouth, but doesn't kiss me, speaking again instead. "You're going to fuck me like you're trying to hurt me."
"I will, you know."
He stands up straight, bracing me with a hand on either of my shoulders. "You already have." A second's pause, then he heads for the door.
I spin round on my heels, which makes the spinning in my head even more disconcerting.
"Where are you going?"
"Don't worry." He roots around in one of his jacket pockets, smiling triumphantly when he finds whatever it is he's looking for. "Just trying to find this." He tosses something at me from a few feet away, and I reach out to catch it without thinking.
A small plastic lube bottle bought from a chain sex shop. Chain being an interesting choice of words, I think, smirking. He might be undead, but he's not totally dead. "You just happen to carry this stuff with you?"
"Think about it, Nathan. Where did you first see me tonight?"
"In Vlad's."
"Blood isn't the only need vampires have, in case you hadn't noticed. Unless you've been celibate for the past seventy years? No, don't answer that." He scowls. "I don't want to know. Let's just say I have people I can call on to attend to certain desires, of whatever nature."
"And I cramped your style by showing up."
"Never mind." He shrugs and takes a few slow steps toward me again. "You can make up for it." In the absence of any coherent reply from me, his smirk grows more pronounced. "You do remember how, don't you? Do you need instructions?"
"Talking down to someone isn't a good seduction technique."
"Who says I'm trying to seduce you? I'm just, out of the goodness of my heart---"
"Ha!"
"---trying to rid this room of the awful sexual tension between us."
"Sexual tension. Right."
"Yeah. I'm horny, and you're tense. Between us, we can figure something out." Adam undoes the top couple of buttons on his shirt as
