But those are stories for another time and place – and perhaps some of you have discovered them already. Now, though, a new story is brewing… because Morg is stirring in Everdark once more, with new wings built from the deepest curses, and her sights are set on the kingdom of Jungledrop, where – she has learnt – a mythical fern that grants immortality grows. A plant that Morg believes will be most useful in her plans for the Unmapped Kingdoms…
And, as much as I wish I could introduce you to a boy and a girl brimming with charm for this story, I’m afraid I cannot. The Petty-Squabble twins have as much charm as a politician’s underpants. But, just because someone has a sharp tongue and a thorny heart at eleven years old, it doesn’t mean that they will stay that way for ever. Quite the contrary. Children are remarkably bendy creatures, especially when they are thrust head first into an adventure. Just when you think you’ve got the measure of them, they twist and turn and end up surprising you altogether.
Even the ones who seem truly dreadful like Fox and Fibber Petty-Squabble. In fact, sometimes it is children like that who make the most interesting heroes of all…
Fox Petty-Squabble flopped onto the sofa in the penthouse suite of the Neverwrinkle Hotel. It was the summer holidays – or at least it was supposed to be – but rather than heading to the seaside, or relaxing with a barbeque in their garden, the Petty-Squabble family had descended upon the sleepy village of Mizzlegurg in the Bavarian countryside for a business trip.
Although originally from England, Gertrude and Bernard Petty-Squabble had moved their family to Germany shortly after Fox and her twin brother, Fibber, had been born. Bernard had a very wealthy German ancestor, a duke called Great Uncle Rudolph, and when he passed away the Petty-Squabbles found themselves inheriting his enormous mansion in Munich because they were his only living relatives. Bickery Towers was one of the biggest and grandest houses in all of Europe, which was just as well because being bigger and grander than everyone else mattered enormously to Mr and Mrs Petty-Squabble. So much so that they filled every summer holiday (and indeed every Christmas and Easter holiday, too) with business meetings because making heaps of cash was, to them, the only way to ensure they remained more important than everybody else.
And so, as today marked the start of the twins’ summer holiday, the Petty-Squabbles had all set off from Bickery Towers that morning, complete with matching luggage, matching business suits and matching scowls, before bullying their way through the day – as was their custom. The family motto, etched in gold across the boot of their car, was:
Do Not Be Afraid
Then, in smaller letters below this:
To Stamp All Over Other People’s Feelings
Gertrude and Bernard Petty-Squabble had been living by this code for as long as they could remember and it had made them very rich indeed. Even before the move to Bickery Towers eleven years ago, Gertrude was running one of the world’s leading anti-ageing skincare ranges, Petty Pampering, and Bernard was the founder of Squabble Sauces, a global corporation which claimed to make cooking sauces that did all sorts of improbable things like reduce tiredness and increase intelligence. In reality, neither the skincare products nor the sauces actually fulfilled any of their bold promises. The Petty-Squabble empire was built on lies. But bullies and liars often go from strength to strength until someone is brave enough to take them down.
Needless to say, no one was brave enough to take the Petty-Squabbles down the day they left for Mizzlegurg for they were very much in a stamping sort of mood. The family’s long-suffering driver, Hans Underboot, got it in the neck first. Mrs Petty-Squabble took it upon herself to dock his pay every time he obeyed the speed limit or got stuck in traffic because she had an appointment at the Neverwrinkle Hotel that she really didn’t want to miss. Then, upon arrival at the hotel, Mr Petty-Squabble clouted the porter round the head when he asked if the family had had an enjoyable journey because that was clearly none of his business. And Fox sneered at every single person who crossed her path – the receptionist who smiled too much, the waiter who asked too many questions at lunch and the pool attendant whose moustache was ‘stupid’ – purely because that was how she had been raised to behave. To be kind was to be weak and to be weak was to be stamped on by everyone, which, admittedly, did not sound ideal to Fox.
Only Fibber had held back on the stamping. In fact, Fox had noticed that her brother had been unusually quiet since the end of term a few weeks ago. Suspiciously quiet, she thought.
Fox and Fibber were twins, not that you would have known it to look at them. Fibber was tall with sleek dark hair, like their mother, while Fox was short with a tumble of red hair, which had come from their father. But, though they might not have looked alike, they had one thing in common: a sharp tongue. And the only thing the twins liked more than insulting strangers was being horrid to one another, especially if it meant that they could show their sibling up in front of their mother and father.
This inter-family competitiveness had been handed down to the twins from their parents. For, while Gertrude and Bernard ultimately wanted to amass one giant Petty-Squabble fortune, they valued rivalry over romance. Working against family members, rather than with them, added a competitive edge to money-making schemes and got you richer quicker, as far as Gerturde and Bernard were concerned. And so they were constantly seeking sly ways to get one up on each
