Anguish filled Rodney’s face as he shook his head. Why couldn’t he see the facts staring him in the face instead of letting his feelings for his brother hamstring him? Okay, he may not be an attorney, but he still needed to see Jack as the snake he really was then judge and convict him accordingly.
“What are you going to do about him?” she snapped.
He shrugged. “What can I do about him?”
“Plenty. Anything is better than nothing. Than hiding.”
“I’m. Not. Hiding.”
“Then you agree with the white supremacy Breeze now stands for?”
“You know I don’t!”
But he refused to get involved, and that’s why she had to leave. To her, standing by and letting racism happen was as bad as perpetrating it.
“I don’t need a Southern gentleman, Rodney,” she said quietly. “I need a man.”
He sucked in his breath but didn’t answer.
She wiped away a fresh mist of tears. Hopefully, the last ones she’d ever shed for someone who’d never been right for her. “I have to catch my flight.”
“And I have to go to work,” he said. “I’ll return with the tow boat to bring you back to dock.”
“Thank you.” She paused. “D-do you need any money? I know it can’t be easy having no identity.”
“What? For God’s sake. I’m a man. I can’t take your charity. I’ve got a job, and soon I’ll have a houseboat of my own.”
“I’m sorry.”
He reached out and squeezed her hand. “Thank you for being with me last night. I’ll never forget it. Nor you.”
She bit her lip and turned away. “Me, either, Rodney. Me, either.”
* * *
The next evening, Rodney paid a visit to Bubba’s boat. The rental agency let him borrow the motorboat for personal use as long as he paid for the gas and didn’t abuse the privilege. After losing Dee all over again yesterday, he needed to be around family.
The people who’d nursed him back to health would always be that.
How was he supposed to live without the only woman he’d ever really loved? And not because of something he couldn’t help, like death, but worse. Giving up his band to Jack had been nothing compared to this pain.
She didn’t respect him. He wasn’t too sure he respected himself anymore. Was she right? Was he hiding out like some kind of guilty outlaw?
Bubba waved. “Hey, stranger!”
Was it his imagination, or did he look older since he’d last seen him?
“I missed y’all,” Rodney said. “How are things going?”
“Same old, same old,” Bubba said.
Timothy emerged onto the deck, all grins, and practically strangled him with a sloppy hug. “Bill! You came back.”
“Just for a visit,” he said.
Karen emerged last. Her smile was more reserved, but warm enough to tell him she still had a thing for him.
Why can’t I just be with her? It would make things so much easier.
In fact, one of the reasons he’d come here was to gauge his feelings for her. Unfortunately, they hadn’t changed. After being with Dee, no one else would do. They couldn’t seem to live with or without each other. Were they both doomed to spend the rest of their lives alone?
“We miss you around here,” she said. “Um, I need to talk to you. Can you help me make dinner?”
“Sure.” He hobbled inside, thinking of the iced tea and hot dogs he’d had with Dee the evening before.
And this morning, in bed. He’d never had lovemaking so good. With her tears and passion, she’d nearly killed him. How long would it take the memories to fade and stop hurting? Months? Years?
“How’s it going?” he asked Karen as he helped her set the table.
“Bubba’s worse,” she said. “We took him to the doctor, and he said if he doesn’t get surgery, he could go any time.”
“Shit.” Maybe he should have taken Dee’s money, after all. “Anything I can do?”
She shrugged. “Just be prepared. And, remember your promise.”
“I haven’t forgotten.”
Why hadn’t he told Dee about his vow to care for Karen and Timothy when the older man passed? It might have made her respect him a little more.
“Why are you so quiet?” Timothy asked halfway through dinner.
“Got a lot on my mind, I guess.”
Rodney kept his voice lazy and doubtful, but inside he was making plans. Big ones. Time to man up. Not for Dee and the best loving this side of the Mississippi.
For Bubba and his family.
Because, the world was full of needy people just like them, and the world was a lot bigger than Jack or the band.
* * *
The day after Dee returned to D.C., she arranged to have lunch with Ted in a busy bistro. She got there early, shivering in her gray pants and long-sleeved blouse while she waited because she wasn’t used to the cooler weather after Louisiana’s heat.
He must have taken the afternoon off because he arrived in a polo shirt, khakis, and loafers instead of a suit. His idea of strictly casual was so different from Rodney’s T-shirts, jeans, and boots.
“How did it go?” he asked. “Did you survive the mosquitoes and the alligators?”
He would have been so miserable in a houseboat. A fish out of water… She smiled, prepared to make small talk. To lead into things gradually, but she couldn’t do it. Her feelings were too strong to hide. Maybe she wasn’t politician material, after all.
“I found him,” she said quietly before the waitress even took their orders.
Ted’s smile vanished, and his eyes hardened. “I see. Did you spend the night with him?”
The blunt question punched her in the stomach. Clearly, he wasn’t mincing any words, either.
“Yes.”
She expected him to leave the table. Instead he folded his napkin into an impossibly small square.
“Have you finally gotten him out of your system, or are you two back together?”
“Neither.” She touched his cold hand as it rested on the table. “Ted, I can’t marry you. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this.”
“Don’t apologize.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze before pulling his away. “Feelings can’t be helped. Thank you for telling me in person. I’d rather
