I bite my lower lip.
Me: The list is shorter if I tell you what I don’t like.
Landon: Don’t hold back now.
Me: I don’t like to be gagged. I want my mouth free to kiss, lick, and suck.
Me: I’m not crazy about whips or canes, but I do like to be spanked and pulling hair is okay.
Me: I don’t share with others. No minors. No animals.
I can’t think of any other hard nos at this point.
Landon: That’s a pretty broad spectrum. The rest is on the table?
Me: I reserve the right to add to my list, but for the most part those are my hard nos.
Landon: You’re killing me. I need to go tug on the slug. I look forward to seeing you in the morning.
Me: I’m off to find Bob and visit the bat cave. We’ll forget this conversation by morning, right?
Landon: I definitely won’t forget, but we won’t talk about it. 171 days. Goodnight.
Me: 171 days. Goodnight.
The coffee shop is off the Ferry Building, and as usual, it’s crowded and crazy with people getting their early-morning fix before fighting the crowds at the farmer’s market. I spot Landon and Claire at a table against the wall and wave as I walk over.
Claire stands and greets me with a hug. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing this morning. Landon mentioned you were meeting.”
“I’m just going to torture him and make him visit all the stalls before we head over to see Jim.” I wink at Claire, and she grins.
Landon pushes a white paper cup toward me. “Claire says at the lawyer’s office you always had Earl Grey with two sugars.”
I’m stunned, but I shouldn’t be. Nothing gets past Claire, and her being here isn’t a coincidence.
“Thank you. It’s perfect.”
I sink into my seat, between them, and wait for what Claire needs to say.
“What are you looking for at the farmers market this morning?” she asks.
“Salad fixings and some fruit. Not much since it’s only me, and I hate to see things go to waste.”
Claire nods. “I love the bread stall.”
It’s my turn to nod. “My favorite is the dried apricot and walnut bread they had a few weeks ago.”
Claire reaches for my arm. “It’s better than any orgasm I’ve ever had.”
I can’t go there. I turn to Landon. “What are you looking for?”
“I thought since we’re spending the day together, I would make dinner for us tonight. The fishmonger has great mahi-mahi steaks, maybe with a broccoli rabe—”
“The one with the caramelized onions?” Claire asks.
“Yes,” Landon continues. “Depending on the dry-goods stall, we might get a high-carb side like cheesy rice.”
“You had me at cooking dinner,” I tell him. “Bob will understand.”
“Landon’s a great cook. He took a bunch of cooking classes at San Francisco Culinary Arts,” Claire says.
“You went to a professional cooking school on top of everything else you do?”
He turns away and blushes a bit. “They offer a few classes for novices like me.”
“She doesn’t offer those classes to anyone else,” Claire explains. “She was smitten, and this Bozo was into food play.”
I take too big of a drink of my hot tea, and it burns my throat and tongue. I try hard to disguise that my mouth is blistering. “I’m sorry.” I wave my hands in front of my mouth. “That was too hot.”
“My sister, as you know, is direct.” Landon glares at Claire, and she gives him a tight smile.
“I’ll make a salad,” I offer. “Maybe I can get some wine from the wine stall.”
“Salad is great, but I have tons of wine,” Landon responds.
“He went out with a sommelier for a while,” Claire adds. “I liked her, and she helped me find my place in Napa.”
I’m howling with laughter. “At least you benefit from all his girlfriends.”
“Yes! I have an amazing personal shopper at Nordstrom, my hairdresser, I have someone to call at Tiffany—and you saw what a great eye she has.” Claire looks across the table. “I love my brother, but he does get around.”
I’m pretty sure that’s a comment directed more to me than to him.
“Not like you’re married with three kids,” Landon counters.
“You’re right. And I’ve been thinking about what you said last night. I didn’t call Nick to find out our plans for tonight, and he didn’t call me. You’re right, he’s not that into me. His loss.”
“Amen!” I raise my cup, and we toast. “This town sucks when it comes to decent men. They’re all about getting shagged and heading off to look for the next best thing.”
Claire gives a noncommittal shrug. “You’ll meet some of my friends. Some of them have met great guys. But there are a lot of stinkers out there.”
I agree. I gave up on dating a while ago.
“At least I know I’m not on any revenge-porn sites.” Claire looks across the table at Landon through squinted eyes.
He holds his hands up. “I’ve never posted on a revenge site.”
“No, but Jim’s team had to pull a photo of you off a site where one of your friends had posted it.” Claire uses air quotes.
“It wasn’t me,” Landon says. “She said it was me. My dick is much bigger than that putz’s was, and it was obvious my head had been edited into the picture.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re a mess.”
“You can tell me about that all day.” Landon stands. “I want to get good fish before all we’re left with is fatty tuna.”
We meander through the stalls. It’s tough to keep my buying to a minimum. I find every size and shape of tomato, carrot, and potato—plus every other vegetable I’ve heard of,
