I took it but didn't drink, for obvious reasons, no matter how badly I wanted to. Asher noticed and eyed me curiously.
“What's the matter? I made that one just for you. Extra lime, just the way you like it.”
“Er, I'm not really thirsty. Maybe I'll try it in a minute.”
Asher was smart enough to know obvious bullshit when he heard it. Luckily, before I had to explain, a toast was called around the table in the yard.
“Glasses, everybody,” mom called out, and the guests gathered around the table with their drinks. “I'd like to toast to my daughter and Asher. Honestly, I still can't believe she managed to snag a catch like him. We were all thinking she'd never get married. You know what a wallflower she can be...”
Lana, sensing impending catastrophe, snatched the microphone away from her.
Asher laughed softly. “Don't worry. I love you just the way you are,” he whispered.
He loved me. Every time he said it, I felt warm inside. Not even being humiliated by mom in front of a crowd could faze me then.
“Ah, thanks for that, aunt Pam,” Lana said quickly. “Congratulations, Sarah. And Asher, I know we all doubted you, but you actually turned out to be a pretty great guy.”
“Who would have ever thought,” he said, and everyone laughed.
“I also want to toast to my mom and dad. They've done so much for us kids, given everything they had to provide us a good life, even though things haven't always been easy. They loved Elias – a boy they'd never even met before – so much that they were willing to give up the world to bring him home.”
Ellen hugged the child, who broke into a big smile, then ran off to play with his siblings in the pool. What a difference a caring family could make. I could hardly recognize him compared to that sad, sullen boy in the photo.
“Getting that land was a miracle for our family,” Lana continued. “We'd have been lost without it. So, I want to toast to everyone who helped mom finally have what was rightfully hers.”
“Cheers,” everyone said. They raised their glasses and took a drink.
I raised my cup too, but only pretended to sip. Asher's eyes narrowed. I could practically feel the questions he was thinking, but all I could offer was a nervous smile in return.
Next to speak was grandma. She took the microphone with shaky hands.
“Charles was a wonderful, generous man. Even long after Ellen was born, he still finds ways to help us.” She smiled and gazed up at the sky. “He's not with us anymore, but now we have his grandson, Asher, who's as good a man as Charles was. Thank you, Asher, for taking care of our Sarah.”
Asher was still studying me. Next time, when everyone else toasted, I didn't bother raising my glass at all. I was far too afraid to care.
He never wanted kids. Maybe this picture-perfect marriage would be over before it had hardly began. That was a possibility I had to prepare for, no matter how sick it made me.
Eventually, the party died down. Most of the guests left by eleven. A few stragglers stayed behind to help clean up, but they soon went home too. Then it was just Asher and me, alone in the silence of our new house.
“That was some party,” he said as he put away the dishes.
“It sure was.”
He eyed me suspiciously. I kept waiting for him to ask the obvious question. The tension was so bad I could hardly stand it.
“So, um. I couldn't help but notice you didn't take a sip of your margarita the whole night.”
“I guess I didn't. Sorry.”
“Was something wrong with it?”
“I doubt it. Your drinks are always good.”
He hugged me from behind, his hands still wet from doing the dishes. I normally would have made a joke and pushed him away. This time, I couldn't muster the strength to do it.
“Something's not the same about you. You're not bored of me already, I hope.”
I had to laugh. “You kidding? I figured you'd be the one getting bored first. You ran away from commitment so hard, for so long, it had to be a huge adjustment.”
“Well, it was,” he admitted, shifting from foot to foot. Even now, he had trouble talking about his deep-down feelings. “But totally worth it. The comfort of having you to come home to is far more valuable to me than anything else in the world.”
His words made me tear up, and I was glad to be facing away from him so he couldn't see. Why did he have to say things like that? It would only make it harder to tell him the news.
“It's nice to hear you say that. Though I do worry the honeymoon period won't last for much longer.”
“Hey, give me a chance, at least.” He squeezed me harder. “So then, tell me, Sarah. Why didn't you have anything to drink tonight?”
My mouth was suddenly dry. “I dunno. Just wasn't feeling it, I guess.”
Slowly, his hands fell to my stomach. “You sure that's really all it is?”
Oh God.
“I...” Just spit it out. I had to. No other choice. “I'm...”
“I love you, Sarah, but I don't like secrets.”
The words tumbled out of my mouth all at once.
“I'm pregnant, okay? Have been for about a month. With your child.”
I pulled away from him and raced down the hall to the bedroom, unable to listen to his response, fearing it more than anything I had in a long time. I fell on the bed and buried my head in the pillows, as if that would stop the world from imploding around me.
Asher's footsteps padded softly down the hall.
