“What have I said about belief, Alice?”
“To have some?” I was baffled.
“Absolutely,” he said approvingly. “We cannot grow right now. It's easier to get by the bandersnatch when you're small.”
“What's a bandersnatch?”
“A frumious creature with a long neck and snapping jaws,” Warren said gravely.
“What the hell does frumious mean?” I gave him my bewildered face.
“It is the concise word for the bandersnatch's fuming and furious character,” Warren instructed me. “Don't you have words that combine other words into one, much more simpler word?”
“Uh-huh sure.”
“The bandersnatch is very quick, but pays no mind to small creatures such as we are currently.”
“Why not?”
“Well, what sort of meal would we make?” Warren huffed. “We aren't worth the effort. If he paid us mind, he'd have nothing left to give the larger creatures.”
“Oh, I see.” I veered around a pebble the size of a boulder and scowled at my black dress. “Maybe I should have changed before we left. You might have warned me about the terrain.”
“You did change”–he glanced at me with a frown–“you're much smaller than you were.”
“I meant my clothes,” I snapped.
“Oh.” Warren stopped and looked me over. “Yes, I see. Nothing to be done for it now. Perhaps we can find you something more colorful at the tea party. Come on; we're late.”
“Yes, so you've said.” I rolled my eyes. “Colorful, indeed. Yes, that's the problem with my outfit; it's not colorful enough.”
Creepy cries echoed through the woods around us, and the underbrush we journeyed through shivered as if it were afraid. I was tense, searching this strange place as we walked through it, uncertain which direction trouble would come from, but sure that it would come. Through the swaying blades of grass, I could glimpse massive tree trunks looming above us. They seemed too large to exist and made horrendous creaking noises that hurt my ears. Beetles the size of a VW bug scampered up to us, startling me, but Warren just huffed at them, and they hurried away.
“How much farther?” I asked. “You realize that I'm wearing heels?”
“Heels?” Warren narrowed his beady rabbit eyes on my feet. “Now, why would you do that?”
“I just got home from my uncle's funeral!”
“Keep your voice down,” Warren hissed. “We've only just passed the bandersnatch.”
“You said that he wouldn't bother with us.”
“You don't seem like you'd be a bother,” a voice purred from above us. “No bother at all.”
“Cat!” Warren cried. “Well met.”
“Yes, well, indeed,” the voice intensified as a feline face parted the grass to peer at me. It was a dark gray tabby with green eyes that glowed. “You two are late.”
“I keep telling her that, but she doesn't seem to hear me.” Warren gave me an annoyed look.
“I can hear you just fine.” I rolled my eyes. “I just can't walk very well in these shoes.”
“Why did you put them on if you can't walk in them?” The cat asked.
“I didn't think I'd be walking through the woods today.”
“Hmm, not much of a planner, are you?” The cat sniffed me. “But you are a Wild, that much is certain.”
“Of course she's a Wild,” Warren snapped. “I fetched her myself. This is Alice.”
“Then I am at your service, Your Majesty,” the cat said.
“Who are you?” I asked it.
“Interesting question,” the cat murmured. “I knew who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times by then.”
“I don't need you to give me some esoteric bullshit on your inner you,” I huffed. “Just tell me who you are.”
“Do you want my name, rank, or affiliation?” The cat asked as its head turned in a complete circle.
I gaped at it until I realized that the cat was floating and his whole body had turned along with his head. Oh yes, a floating feline is so much easier to accept than a fully rotating head.
“This is insane,” I whispered. “Utter madness.”
“Don't worry about that,” the hovering cat said. “We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad, he's mad.”
“How do you that I'm mad?” I huffed. “We've only just met.
“You must be, or you wouldn't have come here.”
“Oh, fantastic,” I said dryly. “And to answer your earlier question; just a name will suffice.”
“That's no fun,” the cat pouted. “How can I show off my prowess to my new queen if she doesn't allow me to give her my rank and affiliation?”
“Then why did you even ask me?”
“I was being polite.”
“Would you just tell her who you are already so that we can get on with it?” Warren grumbled.
“I am Nicholas of the Order of Cheshire, Knight of Wilds,” the cat bowed. “And I shall see you safely to tea, Queen Alice.”
“I am seeing her safely to–oh, never mind.” Warren started hopping away. “We're late enough as it is. I can't find my damn gloves either,” he kept muttering as he went.
“My uncle told me to trust Nicholas,” I said. “Is that you?”
“Yes, I knew your mother's brother well. I knew all of your family. If you will climb onto my shoulders, Your Majesty?” Nicholas said as he lowered himself before me. “I shall carry you to the rendezvous point faster than you can walk.”
“Thank you, Sir Nicholas.” I climbed onto his shoulders and took huge handfuls of fur.
“Call me Nick,” he said and shot through the air.
“Do not start the meeting without me!” Warren shouted after us.”
I clung to the flying cat as Tulgey Wood whizzed by, but soon, he was slowing down to circle a clearing. In the center of this clearing there was a little house,
