“Great; now, I'm hearing things,” I muttered and fell back onto my pillow.
Only yourself, the voice came again.
My eyes went wide. “Who are you?”
I'm you; the you that you hide. The woman you want to be. It's time to let me out, Vervain. Let's be friends.
“Jiminy Cricket! I'm going mad.”
All the best people are.
“Do not quote Alice in Wonderland to me! Quotes are my thing and that's my favorite movie. Book/movie. Whatever.”
I am you.
“Nope. Uh-uh.” I crossed my arms. “I don't believe you, Creepy Voice, and I'm not listening.”
You don't want to listen to yourself?
“I don't want to have this conversation. It means I'm bonkers. Gone round the bend. One french fry short of a happy meal.”
Yes, I understand the concept of insanity.
“Well, you should. What with you being the insane part of me and all.” I rolled my eyes. “This is stupid, and I'm stopping right now.”
I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. But Al hadn't counseled me on what to do if the phone call came from inside my mind.
I'm in your head, moron. You can't stop me from talking. And you're going to want to hear what I have to say. It's what you want after all.
I ignored her... me... whoever.
You're tired, girl. Enough is enough. How many men have you got now? Ten billion? This is fucking ridiculous. Literally. There's more to life than stupid boys, you know?
“Now, you're quoting Stranger Things?” I griped. “Stop it! You're not me. You can't be me no matter how awesome you act.”
Stop interrupting. Is that something you learned from your children? The children who you keep giving birth to despite your dangerous life. I mean, come on! Children, Vervain? You can barely take care of your cat and then you go and bring babies into this mess? What's wrong with you? It's irresponsible and irrational. Yet you think I'm the crazy one.
“Shut up!” I screamed. “Don't you dare talk about my children!”
They're our children and you are so stretched thin that you can't even be a mother to them. Samantha is raising Lesya and Vero with their fathers, and a whole host of faerie nannies are helping Arach. Not you, lady. You show up for hugs and kisses and goodnight, Mommy, and that's it. You're an absent mother.
“No, I'm not.”
Yeah, girl, you are. But they all knew you'd be. They can't expect you to raise children and satisfy their rampant desires and save the world all at the same time. That's just ridiculous. They pushed you into having babies before you were ready. They can't expect you to be Mother of the Year.
“I try my best,” I muttered. “It gets hard sometimes. It used to be just me and Nick but now...”
Now, you got a palace full of cats, a bedroom full of lovers, and nurseries stacked on top of each other. Stacked! How much space do you have left up there? Soon the nurseries will go higher than the towers that border them. Vervain and her high-rise baby apartments. You're like the Von Trapp family. The Vervain Trap family. No, wait! Vervain Trapped by her family!
“And Az is already hinting at wanting to try for Sebastian and Dominic,” I grumbled.
Another layer to the nursery apartments and another set of twins. Twins! What did Grandma say about twins?
“That she wouldn't wish that hell on anyone,” I whispered. “But it's not hell.”
Yeah, we know what hell is, she agreed. But twin boys come close to being trapped in an ice cell with your worst fear.
“And these will be angels,” I added.
Which means that they'll both fly, just like Rian and Brevyn. One woman shouldn't have to give birth to two sets of flying boys!
“No, I shouldn't!” I sat up angrily.
We should be doing what we were born to do.
“Yeah!” I crawled out of bed through the opening at the foot. “You're damn straight!” I punched the air with my finger but then went still and blinked with hesitation. “What are we born to do?”
Rule the world, silly.
“Oh,” I whispered as it all unfolded in my mind.
With the power of my star open and able to fulfill my every wish, I could topple governments and conquer nations. I could end all wars, including the God War. I could make the world safe and then I'd never have to fight again. Then I could raise my children and love my men and not stress about other gods. So what if my star was turning purple? Purple is for royalty and it was time for me to rule.
Now, you're starting to see the possibilities.
“How does one go about taking over the world?” I mused.
Why don't you just wish for it and see what happens?
“Where's the fun in that?” I smiled wickedly, and the voice in my head started laughing.
Chapter Six
I woke on the couch in the morning, my laptop open on the low, brass-plate coffee table and scribbled sheets of paper covering me like snowflakes.
“What the hell?” I muttered as I sat up and sent the paper sluicing to the floor. I sat amid the debris for a moment and then picked a sheet up and read it, “Queendoms of the Ancient World.” I tossed it on the table and picked up another handful. “Where did Rome go wrong?” I flipped through the pile. “How to rule the world. Tiamat; Dragon, Goddess, and Witch—we're fucking soulmates! Follow her lead. When Tiamat waged war on the other gods, the first thing she did was gather allies.” I dropped the pages in horror. “Cinderella's slippers, Vervain! What the hell happened last night?”
We decided to rule the world. Don't act as if you don't remember.
“Get out of my head!” I screeched as I stood, crunching tyrannical study notes beneath my feet. “I don't know who you are, but you aren't me.”
Okay, fine, the voice huffed. I'm the Trinity Star. You happy?That make you feel better about talking to yourself?
I fell back on the couch.
