“Faerie!” Arach shouted. “Where are you? We need your counsel!”
Stop shouting, I can hear you even if you whisper, Faerie, the Consciousness of the Faerie Realm, said petulantly in our heads. Then her voice sobered, I see the darkness you speak of, Vervain, but I don't know what it is. It's not the element of Darkness; I know that for certain. It's not completely black, more of a murky violet, nor is this something I've foreseen. Your future has veered from the path I have tried to guide you down. She paused and then said in amazement, I don't know how to help you.
“Great,” I grumbled.
“You have no guidance for us at all?” Arach asked in shock.
Get away from the children, Vervain. I trust your instinct. Separate yourself from your loved ones until we can figure this out.
“No!” Arach roared. “I will not allow you to isolate yourself when you need my help, Vervain. You will stay here, in our bedroom, and we will determine what this darkness is.”
A memory rose then; I stood behind a Finnish god while he sat in a machine, stealing magic from another man. My hands were on his shoulders, but I jerked away when something shot into my fingertips. Something painful.
“Something dark,” I whispered.
“What did you say, A Thaisce?” Arach asked, gentling his tone.
“I think I know what this is,” I said in a stronger voice.
Well, spit it out already, Faerie ordered impatiently.
“Remember when I told you about touching Vainamoinen while he was using the machine he built to collect god magic?” I gave Arach a heavy look. “I felt something then. Something zapped me. I think it was the magic he stole, but the transfer altered it; the theft altered it. The magic was angry.”
“And you think this angry magic has poisoned you with one small touch?” Arach asked skeptically.
All it takes is one touch, Faerie said grimly. One drop of poison to turn a well toxic.
“How do I stop it?” I asked.
I don't know, Vervain, Faerie spoke into my mind alone. But at least we have an idea of what we're dealing with. The Dragon won't let you go, but you must. You cannot taint the children. Go to Hawaii and if he follows you there, go further away. Go as far as you need to go. I'll send Alaric to help you.
Thank you, I said in my mind as I surreptitiously rubbed my Ring of Remembrance; the ring that could take me through time and space. I stared sadly at my husband as I asked my ring to take me to Hawaii; to the last time I had been there. Then, even if Arach followed me, he wouldn't find me. He has a ring of remembrance too, but he wouldn't know what time to look for me in.
“I love you, Dragon. Protect our sons,” I whispered to him as I left.
Chapter Four
“What the fuck just happened?!” I screeched as soon as I reformed in my little house in Hawaii.
But there was no one to hear my outburst. I started to cry. I was alone for the first time in years. I mean utterly alone; no one in the next room or outside in the yard. No one was coming to help me except for maybe Alaric, but I hadn't thought to tell Faerie that I'd be going back in time. Which meant that Al wouldn't be able to find me. I could try to call him, he was probably listening but, at the moment, all I wanted to do was cry. I'd be strong in a few minutes. I needed this first. And what did it matter anyway? No one was there to see me be strong or weak. I may have to rely on myself but that also meant that I didn't have to put on a brave face for anyone. I could be afraid out in the open. There's relief in that. Enough relief that I started to calm down.
I had no idea what to do. I wasn't even sure what was happening. All I knew was that I didn't want to become like Vainamoinen; cold, calculating, power-hungry... evil. I didn't want to turn into a horrible version of myself. The Godhunter gone bad. But if I wasn't sure what the machine had done to me, I couldn't figure out how to fix it. I couldn't figure out how to even slow the process down.
“I may never see my loved ones again,” I whispered to the empty house, shock making me shiver.
It was worse than when I'd first begun to hunt the Gods; I didn't even have Nick. It was just me. In an empty house. No love. No laughter. No one. I had bitched about wanting time to myself, about needing space to breathe, but now that I was faced with an endless amount of it, all I wanted was to see my children. Hold Trevor's hand. Stroke Kirill's hair. Hug Azrael and feel his wings around me.
“Get a hold of yourself,” I growled. “You're the goddamn Godhunter. You've faced fucked-up futures, psychotic gods, and the end of the world... twice. You can do this. You just need to think. Think, Vervain!” I slapped at my temples as if I could jar some thoughts loose.
As I abused myself verbally and physically, I stumbled to the low sofa in my Moroccan-themed living room and fell back onto the bright cushions. The butt-sucking pillows pulled me down into their softness, and I sighed deeply. The peace was kind of nice. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a chance to simply sit down in complete silence and just enjoy a quiet—
The next-door neighbor started mowing his yard.
“Ugh!” I snarled as I jerked upright. “Can't I have one fucking minute of silence?!”
The mowing stopped abruptly, and I blinked in surprise. I thought for a second that my neighbor had heard me and perhaps stopped mowing to be nice or because I'd startled
