I couldn’t find any words to express how I felt. It was a mixture of anger, revulsion and a strange desire pulsing up from my core. He was a handsome man, muscular and intense, and I felt drawn toward him in ways I couldn’t explain. But I hated him just as much, hated how he kept me locked up, hated how he rushed into the bathroom, pulled me from the water, and looked at my body.
Or maybe I didn’t hate that part.
Maybe I couldn’t stop thinking about that because I liked the way he stared at my breasts, at my lips, at my dripping wet hair.
I crossed my arms and stared at the TV, willing myself to stay calm and to ignore the hulking monster sitting next to me on the couch.
We didn’t talk for a while. He got up and got a beer at some point, but didn’t offer me anything. He sat down and kicked his feet up, content to watch whatever I put on, and never once complained.
I wanted to scream at him to go away. But it felt nice to have some company after being locked away in that room. I knew I’d have to go back up eventually and he’d snap that padlock closed again, but I wanted to push it for as long as I could.
It was strange how normal things could start to feel, like we were together in a nightly routine. We sat in front of the TV, and I started to think of him as just another person instead of the monster that locked me up and stole me away from my life.
That’s the scary part of it all, how quickly he could stop being a nightmare, and start just being a man.
I stood up abruptly after a couple hours. I couldn’t take it anymore. The tension was driving me insane.
“What are we doing here?” I asked.
He looked at me with a frown. “Watching The Big Bang Theory, I thought,” he said. “Although this show is really bad. It’s like the most insulting parody of a nerd possible.”
“What?” I asked. “No, I don’t want your hot take on this stupid show. I mean, what are we doing? We’re just sitting here on the couch.”
“Looks like it,” he said.
“Why aren’t you locking me up?”
He tilted his head and a little smile came to his lips. “Do you want me to lock you up?” he asked. “Maybe I can tie you to the bed. Would you like that?”
“No,” I said, glaring at him. “I just mean, why are you letting me stay down here?”
He shrugged. “You were good today. You didn’t make trouble, you did what I asked. You deserve a little break.”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment to steady myself. When I opened them again, he was smiling at me, his handsome lips parted ever so slightly.
“I’m not some… some dog you get to reward for being obedient.”
“That’s not how I think of you,” he said.
“Then why are you treating me like one?”
He frowned a little and picked up his beer. He took a long pull from the bottle then put his arms along the back of the couch.
“Would you rather I just locked you up?” he asked. “Left you to rot in that room? Maybe I could just slip your meal under the door.”
“Honestly, I almost wish you would. Being nice to me is worse.”
He frowned. “I don’t think that’s true.”
“You’re making me forget what you are.”
He leaned forward and put his beer back down on the coffee table. He leaned his elbows on his knees and stared up into my eyes.
“And what’s that?” he asked.
“You’re a monster,” I said. “You’re a killer. You’re an asshole. I don’t want anything to do with this… this reward.”
“Then go to your room,” he said, his voice cold and hard. “Go ahead, go slam the door, crawl into bed, cover yourself with the sheets. But when you wake up tomorrow, I’ll still be here, and you’ll still be mine.”
I felt rage run down my spine and I wanted to scream at him. I took a step toward him but he never broke his gaze and didn’t react at all. I stood there, glaring at him, wishing I could do something that would really hurt him.
So I turned away and stormed upstairs.
I slammed the door shut. I made sure he heard it.
And then I crawled into bed and told myself I wouldn’t come back out until he forced me to.
7
Steven
That night, after she threw her little tantrum, I called up one of my soldiers and had him swing by the house. He was a young guy name Dino, skinny guy with jet black hair and dark brown eyes. He wore a pair of baggy jeans, basketball sneakers, and a button-down shirt. I met him out on my front stoop, but didn’t invite him in.
“Hey boss,” he said, looking around the block. He’d never been to my house before and I could tell it made him nervous. He was new to the crew, and he was still in the process of proving himself.
Tonight would be a good test.
“Hey Dino,” I said. “Thanks for coming out.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure, boss, sure. What, uh, what can I do for you?”
I leaned back against the door and crossed my arms. “You still got that girlfriend?” I asked.
He looked surprised. “You mean, Theresa?” he asked. “Yeah, sure I’m still with Theresa.”
“She’s the one with expensive taste, right?”
He let out a laugh. “Yeah, boss. How’d you know?”
“Heard you talking with Simon a few weeks back,” I said. “Listen, I need you to do me a favor. Call up your girl and tell her the two of you need to go shopping.”
He looked confused. “All right, sure, boss,” he said. “For what, though?”
“Women’s clothes,” I said. “Bras, underwear, dresses, shirts and
