She stopped talking and leaned her head up against the headrest. She held the coffee against her chest then lowered it down into her lap. I watched her for a few breaths before I shook my head and turned down a side street, the car rolling along.
“I can’t imagine,” I said. “Losing everything like that. And you were just a kid. You probably didn’t even understand why.”
“No, I didn’t,” she said. “But I learned as I got older, and I started to hate the Club, you know? They took so much from me.”
“I can’t blame you for that,” I said. “I would’ve hated them too.”
“Now it’s like that all over again,” she said. “They’re taking my father away, and I just… I don’t understand it. They didn’t need to go this far.”
“You’re right.” I spoke softly as I turned a corner and drove through Club territory. “Here’s the thing. I was thinking the other day, about our tour through this neighborhood.”
She gave me a flat look. “You think I missed something?”
“You didn’t show me where your uncle lives,” I said.
She took a deep breath and let it out. She didn’t speak for a minute and I could feel her tension growing.
“I didn’t want to,” she said. “I thought… thought you might do something stupid.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“Like breaking into his house and killing him.”
I laughed and tilted my head. “But that’s exactly what you should want me to do.”
“Maybe before they took my dad. But now, I can’t be sure he’s not in there and you won’t kill him by mistake.”
I clenched my jaw. I wanted to say that I didn’t make mistakes like that, but so far this whole war had been one botched fucking attack after the next. Maybe it was because my crew was made up of young soldiers without much experience, or maybe I’d been a little too aggressive and didn’t plan enough.
I wasn’t going to make that mistake moving forward.
“I want to get your father out,” I said. “I want to bring him home for you, Colleen. But I can’t do that if I don’t know where he is.”
“We don’t even know he’s at my uncle’s place,” she said.
“Oh, he’s there, all right.” My voice felt like a low rumble in my chest. “Your uncle isn’t the kind of man to keep someone that important anywhere else.”
She gave me a look and shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Point it out to me,” I said. “I won’t do anything without your approval first.”
She snorted. “I don’t believe you.”
“Try anyway,” I said.
She rubbed at her temples then ran her fingers through her hair. “I don’t believe you,” she said again. “I don’t think you’re the kind of man to run anything past anyone.”
“Maybe,” I said and ran my hands over the steering wheel. I stared straight ahead, didn’t glance in her direction. “Maybe you’re right about that. But I’m trying to change here, because the way I’ve been hasn’t worked. So help me step up and do better.”
She shifted in her seat and put her mug down in the cup holder. She pulled out her seatbelt and released it, let it snap back into place across her chest.
“All right,” she said. “But I’m serious, Steven. You can’t… you can’t just attack him without talking to me first. Okay? Do you swear?”
“I swear,” he said.
“Turn left up here.”
She gave me directions and we rolled down a quiet, boring street. There were typical sedans on the block, and the houses all looked the same, with the same stoop and the same simple door. She pointed out the window at a house with a black door and bars over the downstairs windows, but otherwise it looked like any other house in on the block.
“That’s him,” she said.
I kept going and didn’t stop. “Anything I should know about it?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I haven’t been there since I was a little girl. He had an alarm system back then, but I don’t know what’s there now.”
He nodded. “All right. Thank you for showing me that, Colleen.”
“Do you really mean it when you say you’re going to get my dad?” she asked.
“I really mean it,” I said. “As far as I’m concerned, if I can get your father back, I can win this war in an afternoon. He’s the only thing holding me back now.”
She sucked in a breath and chewed on her cheek then picked up her mug and took a long sip.
“Okay,” she said, nodding her head, her hair bobbing up and down. “All right. I trust you.”
“Good.” I reached out and touched her knee. She took my hand and held it in her own then kissed my fingers. I looked at her and felt a pang of desire rocket through my chest at her wide eyes and pretty pink lips.
I wasn’t going to let her down. I’d already let too many people down, already got Davide killed, already let Colleen get shot. No more bullshit, no more mistakes moving forward. I wasn’t going to fail, and I wasn’t going to let anyone else get hurt.
No more fuck ups, no more mistakes.
19
Colleen
After pointing out my uncle’s house to Steven, he dropped me off at his place and drove off. I lingered on his front porch and watched his car disappear down the street before heading back inside the house. I walked back into the kitchen, dumped my mug, then took my phone from my back pocket and stared at the screen.
I powered it on. Text and emails chimed. I ignored them and pulled up the phone app.
My father’s phone rang. I was surprised but kept myself under control. It rang and rang, and I knew it was about to click over to the familiar voicemail. He almost never answered on the first call, he was always leaving his
