But instead, the phone clicked to life. I stood there dumbfounded as I heard someone at the other end.
Then my uncle’s voice came over the line.
“Colleen,” he said. “Or is this Steven?”
“It’s me,” I said.
He chuckled. My uncle, that bastard. Rage burst to life through my chest. My hand gripped the edge of the counter as my nostrils fared and my lips curled up into a snarl. I recognized that laugh, had heard it so many times as a girl growing up with the Club, but now it drove me wild with animal anger.
“What can I do for you, niece?” he asked.
“Let me father go,” I said. “That’s a start.”
He chuckled again. “I don’t think so.”
“Why did you take him?” I asked. “He got out. You let him out. You know we have nothing to do with any of this.”
“And yet you’re staying with Steven Bianco. Which is strange, since he’s been killing my boys.”
“I got shot,” I said, my voice a rabid snarl. “He took me in.” I touched the bandage on my shoulder. It still throbbed sometimes when I moved my arm too fast, but mostly I’d forgotten all about it.
“Sounds like a convenient story. Damsel in distress, saved by the gangster.”
“His people shot me. In that first hit, when he killed your dealers outside the bodega on twenty-second.”
He was quiet for a beat. “Interesting,” he said.
“I’m not involved with him,” I said. “You think I betrayed you, but I didn’t.”
He took a deep breath and let it out, the air cracking into the receiver. “All right, niece,” he said. “If that’s true, and I highly doubt that it is, then I suppose you’d be willing to do anything to get your father back, wouldn’t you?”
“You could just let him go right now,” I said.
“Oh, of course, but I won’t.” He breathed into the receiver. “I want you to do something for me. You will do something for me, niece?”
“What do you want?” I asked.
“I want you to listen,” he said. “That’s all. Just listen to what Steven Bianco is up to. He’s been quiet lately, but I know that won’t last. He’s been planning, hasn’t he?”
“Yes,” I said.
“I thought so.” He sighed. “Of course he is. I need you to listen, niece, and I need you to report to me what he says. If you can do that, if you can give me something useful, then I’ll consider letting your father go.”
“That’s all you want?” I asked. “Just information?”
“Just information.”
I stared down at the tile floor. My heart was beating fast and I felt a drop of sweat run down my back. I felt paralyzed, like I was trapped between two walls closing in against me on either side, threatening to crush me between their weight.
“Okay,” I said, and my voice sounded far away.
“Good,” he said. “I expect a message soon. Text me if that’s safer, but send me something in the next day or so. If that pans out, we’ll go from there.”
“I’m not… I’m not going to be your spy.”
“That’s exactly what you’ll do,” he said. “And if you don’t, I’ll make sure your father knows about it.”
“Don’t touch him,” I said. “He doesn’t deserve this. You took enough already.”
“Do what I told you and he’ll be fine,” Uncle Mathis said. “And don’t be stupid, Colleen. You know me, and you should know what I’m capable of.”
He hung up the phone without another word.
I stood there and slowly put my phone down on the counter top. I turned and gripped the edge with both hands, leaning up against it, my head hung forward, my chin almost against my chest.
I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing, but it still came in ragged gasps as my heart kept racing away.
I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t betray Steven, even if it meant getting my father back. But then again, I didn’t owe him anything. The only reason I was here and involved in any of this is because his men shot me.
“Fuck,” I whispered. “Oh fuck, oh shit.”
I released the edge of the counter and stood in his kitchen for a long moment, my head swirling. I saw Steven at Davide’s mother’s kitchen table, grief wracking his face. I felt Steven’s hands and mouth on my body. I felt the breeze on the roof deck, smelled Steven’s skin.
There was so much more here than I realized, and I didn’t know if I could give it all up so easily.
I shook my head and left the kitchen. I marched upstairs, went into my room, and drew a bath. I undressed and took off the bandage that covered my bullet wound. I stared at the stitches and the black and blue marks, already starting to fade into yellow nothing.
Something so small, and yet so big. It had changed my life completely and I knew I could never go back.
All I had to do was spy on Steven for my uncle. That was all, and then I could be free.
I stepped into the tub and tried to quiet my hammering heart.
20
Steven
I woke up early the next morning. My head ached from too many glasses of whisky and I smelled like a god damn bar. I rolled onto my side and pressed my hand against the empty half of the bed and for a brief moment, wondered where Colleen had gone.
But she’d slept in her own damn room. I sat up with a groan and ran a hand through my hair as my phone kept ringing.
That must’ve been a dream. Colleen in my bed, her body naked and lean and gorgeous, a smile on her lips.
I reached for my phone and picked it up. “What?” I said.
“Steven, man, you gotta come down here.” It was Luca, and the panic in his voice woke me up.
“What happened?” I asked, already getting out of bed. I put the phone on speaker as I grabbed
