“True.” He nods and steps back. His sweat pants don’t do a single thing to hide what I know he’s packing in there.
Adri remains pressed against me and I give her a quick kiss to the temple. “I’m almost done in here, then I need to do a quick sweep of the backyard and pool house.”
“Hey!” Emmett exclaims and flops onto my bed, “I love this book.” He picks up the book Sonja gave me and flips through it.
“Yeah,” I smile, “I’ve had it since I was a kid.”
“Travis loves to read.” Adri nods and smiles up at me.
“Really?” Emmett looks up from the book, “Ember is making me a library for all my books. You should check it out.”
“I will.” I nod.
“What’s this?” He holds up a folded piece of paper.
“I don’t know,” I shake my head and take the paper from him, “where did you get it from?”
“It fell out of the back of the book.”
I open the letter and see Sonja’s perfect cursive writing on the page. It’s new because the blue ink looks fresh. “It’s from Sonja.” I whisper.
“Adri and I will head out to the backyard,” Emmett puts his hand on my shoulder, “when you’re done, meet us there.”
I nod and they leave the room, their hushed voices floating back to me. I want to read this but at the same time I’m afraid to fucking see what she has to say. It explains why that book was tucked neatly under the flipped over mattress. She knew I would find it and eventually find her letter also.
I sit down on the bed and let out a heavy exhale, this is going to be hard to get through. I can feel it.
Dear Travis,
I named you that, it was after my papa. This book I give you when you a little boy was from my papa. He loved this book and I bring with me to America to help me remember him. I hope you take good care of it. He died when I was very young. You will be wondering why the nanny named you and I have finally decided to give you all the truth.
Sonja always had a European accent and her English was fine but not perfect, I smile as I read the words and I can almost hear her voice in my head.
My family is in Ukraine. My mama is there and also I have three other sisters. When Papa died we became very poor and Mama never have to work before and my sisters were younger than me. So I decide to come to America to make the money and send to my family. Many girls from my country do this and they enjoy the learning a new language and to experience different people. I was lucky because my mama speak some English and she teach me already.
When I get here, I find ads for nanny and for teacher. I love children so much and I decide to try for nanny. It is a funny thing because my first place I call was to your father. He tell me his wife to be is pregnant and will have baby in a few months. They needed help because he is so busy. I was excited! I love newborn, so I come to this house and I have an interview. When I meet them, I think they are so young, younger than me! And your father he seem not so nice but your mother was sweet. She have a belly and I even feel the baby kick inside.
Christina was pregnant, did she fucking lie to me about Sonja? I rub my hand down my forehead and try to hold off the headache that’s threatening to spill out.
I get job and I am so happy because the pay is so good. I have enough to send to Mama and I can also save. Those early days were nice for me, your mother just sleep a lot and your father was always away at school or business. I mostly read to learn my English better and I cleaned to prepare house for baby.
Then one bad day, Christina was in swimming pool and she fall asleep. But not a regular sleep, the one you get from drinking so much alcohol. I find the bottle of her favourite vodka by the pool. I did not know she drink like this and I did not know she have the mental problems. I find out later, she was always sad because she leave college and her family to live here and have baby. Your father was building business and still in the college. Nobody tell me. She look like she was dead and I jump in the pool to bring her out. I cannot swim very well and it take me a long time.
I bring her out and her face look blue, so I press her chest and give the breath to her and finally she bring up so much water, I cannot believe her lungs have this much. I run inside to call the ambulance and they take her to hospital. It was so bad, the doctor say the baby was not alive for at least one week inside her belly. This make her insides bad and she can no longer have child.
I was scared, for sure I need a new job. But Mr. Greene surprise me and ask me to stay. Christina need my help and I could stay with her when he is gone. I was happy and I try my best to help her but she was impossible, she drink so much and I worry about her.
Mr. Greene become angry a lot to her and they fight, he also become mean and not so nice to me too. He would hit Christina and he did
