My heart is lodged in my throat and my hands shake from the anger coursing through my veins. If my sister hadn’t already killed the cunt, I’d have Travis’ father’s throat in my hands.
“I was in love with Adri at the time, I think I always have been. I wanted her to be my first and I was destroyed when she could never be. After I fucked the prostitute, I cried and my father found me more of a disappointment. The next baseball practice, I tried to take back my life. I told Coach I didn’t want to continue any further, I wouldn’t be participating in his activities anymore. He ended up raping me in the locker room showers later that day. He overpowered me and he was bigger. When he was through, he gave me a cigarette and said I was brave. Then thirteen more times after that, once a month and one month twice, he fucked me and I let him. I let him because he threatened to expose my evil family. Even though they hated me, I protected them in the only way I knew how. After a solid year, I found a gun in my father’s desk drawer. I couldn’t stand myself any longer and I knew that if I didn’t make him stop, I would turn the gun on myself.”
Hearing that Travis was ready to end his life scares the shit out of me. I can only imagine he hit his bottom and he saw no other way out.
“I got to his house and he was there, with a woman. I wasn’t surprised because Coach dated many women. A lot of them happened to be the teammate’s single mothers. Sounds strange? It made it easier for him to get to the child. That night, I barged in and I had no idea who the woman was but she left in a hurry when I pulled out the gun. I told Coach that night that we were done, he couldn’t touch me or anyone else again because if he did, I would be back to finish the job. I told him to quit his job as our coach and to never come back to Precious Blood. I regret leaving that house and not taking his life. I should’ve been the one to do it. I later learned that the woman he was with was Charles’ mother. I have yet to tell him about that.”
His shoulders heave and I hear his voice hiccup. I gather him up and hold him close. His body is trembling and his breathing is erratic.
“Travis,” I soothe him. “I am so sorry that happened to you. But you have a family now. I will always be here and I will never let anything like that happen to you again.”
“I know, I finally have a family now,” he sniffs. “I thank God for Ember every day. She brought me all of you.”
My heart wants to explode, it’s so heavy with sadness and love. I finally know what it feels like to take on the pains of the one you love. Travis’ pain is extensive and it can crumble mountains. It scares me because I feel like he’s walking the edge and at any moment he could slip and fall.
“The funny thing is, I found out my father knew. He gave me to Coach as an incentive to stay quiet. Like ‘hey, fuck my kid but make sure you shut your mouth about anything else.’ At every corner he made sure to call me a faggot and laugh in my face. I wanted to kill him as well but I didn’t have the courage.”
“Most people don’t.” I say quietly, “it’s not a bad thing. It’s hard to hold the souls of your victims.” I tell him.
Then we crawl up his bed and I curl up around him. I wait until his breathing levels out and I try to stay awake to make it back to my own bed but in the end I lose the battle with my exhaustion.
27
I decided to stay home today, school just seems so mundane in reality to all of the things happening. Emmett wanted to stay with me but I told him I needed to just reflect and maybe work on the pool at my house. At the mention of the green slime, he hopped out of my bed and told me to enjoy my day. It was nice waking up to him, he didn’t monopolize my bed and let me have the blankets. It was actually pretty close to perfect.
Last night, after letting everything out about Coach and my father, I feel freer and I also have a new flame lit under my ass. I need to pull in Ember to talk to the police chief. They aren’t doing enough to find Sonja and the longer she is missing the more I fear for her. I’m her son and I understand why she stayed in that environment, it’s also why I’m worried she hasn’t reached out.
There’s a soft knock on the door and then E opens it slowly, “a little bird said you were staying home today.”
“Yeah, I want to drain that pool so I can call in the cleaners and I need to speak to Chief Moore about Sonja’s case. There’s been nothing.”
“I’ll come with.” She throws up a thumb, “but that nasty ass pool is all you. Leave the Chief to me.”
“Cool.” I chuckle. “You good to walk and shit?”
“Don’t join the group of idiots I call our family, you’re the smart one.” She shakes her head as she leaves my room.
I guess that’s a yes.
“Are we going to do something for Adri’s birthday?” I ask her as we pull out of our driveway in my car.
“She was pretty
