Outside was equally as lovely and spacious, with mature shrubs, fruit trees, a wooden summerhouse, outbuildings, workshop, greenhouse and vegetable garden, ducks and chickens and a few sheep in the paddock at the back. The house also had an annexe that Jo had converted into a guest suite, which was presently occupied by her son and family. I noted that the house was everything my home wasn’t – lived-in; a place where people worked, played and rested. As an only child, when Jo’s parents had died, she’d inherited a tidy sum of money which, along with what she’d earned from her shop and deli, she’d used to buy the property.
‘Should you be out of bed?’ Ally asked.
‘Sure,’ said Jo. ‘I have to do a little activity every day, and build on that day by day until I’m functioning normally again. I can do most things, just not heavy lifting or ironing. I feel fine, better than fine.’
Jo had filled us in about her time in hospital, and her near-death experience. ‘I know it sounds far-fetched but, believe me, it was real enough,’ Jo said as she brought a teapot to the table and sat down to join us. ‘I didn’t want to leave the place where I went. Such peace, I can’t describe it, and it’s left me with a feeling that, if that’s dying, I haven’t had as much fun in years.’
‘But you didn’t die,’ said Ally.
Jo’s face clouded. ‘Oh god. I hope I haven’t offended you with Michael …’
Ally waved her hand. ‘It’s OK, just there’s no proof, is there?’
‘I knew you’d be sceptical,’ said Jo, ‘and I would have been too if it hadn’t happened to me. I can remember everything. I told the medics exactly what they were doing when I was supposedly out cold.’
‘So why did you come back if it was so wonderful up there?’ asked Ally.
Jo grinned. ‘I was given a choice and I knew I had unfinished business. I had to get back to my family and friends … and who was going to feed the hens whilst I was lying in bed?’
I glanced over at Ally. I wondered if the conversation was upsetting her. Michael hadn’t come back.
Jo continued, ‘I somehow knew it wasn’t my time. I still have things to learn and things to do. I knew I couldn’t leave my family yet. All of them need me.’
‘I needed Michael. He had loads of things to do as well. He didn’t come back. Are you saying that if he’d been given a choice, he chose to leave.’
Jo clamped her hand over her mouth. ‘Oh god, Ally, I am so sorry. I’ll shut up now although … if Michael is where I went, he’s in a good place. It was like being home, not in the physical sense, but in the sense of a feeling of belonging somewhere.’
‘Thing is, we just don’t know, do we? We don’t know much at all, in fact,’ I said. I gave Jo a look to say ‘change the subject’ but it didn’t register.
‘Remember how Mitch used to go on about the light as well?’ said Jo.
‘We thought she’d lost it,’ said Ally.
‘Are you saying I’ve lost it?’ asked Jo.
‘No, no,’ I said. ‘Actually, truth is, you lost it years ago, you’ve always been bonkers. Ally and I didn’t want to say.’
Jo laughed.
‘It might just be chemicals that were released in the brain at the time of your heart attack that made you feel so euphoric,’ said Ally.
‘Could be, but that doesn’t explain me witnessing the whole procedure—’
I could see that Ally was uncomfortable so I decided to butt in. ‘Let’s change the subject for now … tell us about your family, Jo, how are they all?’ There were a lot of them presently camped out with her: her daughter Kirsty and son-in-law Will, along with their two children, Jason who was sixteen and Holly who was fifteen. Her son Graham, his wife Saskia and their twelve-year-old, Annie, and son, Oliver, who was eight, were staying in the annexe. In another room was a student, Lucas, who was eighteen and studying at a nearby college. Luckily she had four bedrooms in the house as well as the two-bedroomed annexe. ‘How do you cope?’
‘I have very strict house rules,’ she said, and pointed at a rota on the wall. ‘The idea was that we should all take turns in cooking, and everyone has their chores but, if I’m honest, I usually end up doing it all.’
‘Seems like you’ve taken on a lot of responsibility with them all here.’
Jo shrugged. ‘It is what it is, but I’m aware that I have to make some changes. When Kirsty left home, then Graham … god, the house felt quiet. I even considered selling it, but then, like many young people, they struggled with high rents and were unable to save for their own houses, so one after the other, they came back with the idea of saving up whilst staying here. Then Lucas turned up on the doorstep, needing a home. I was happy to provide one and it’s meant I’ve never been lonely. One thing I realized,’ she said as she pointed skyward, ‘when I was up with Astral … that’s the name I gave the presence that was with me …’ Ally raised an eyebrow and shot me a glance, which eagle eyes Jo noticed. ‘I saw that. There was a presence …’
I laughed. The old dynamic was still there. Ally still the sensible one, Jo unsure, always testing the water, me trying to keep the peace.
‘What I realized though,’ Jo continued, ‘was that I want to change my life. I have been rushing about for forty years, working nonstop all that time, and why? For what? I barely get a moment to myself. I want to make more time for friends and more time for me, to do what I want, whatever that is. I want to allow
