He shrugged. ‘Unspoken but not unknown,’ he said, then he smiled and went back to his mail, but kept his leg pressed against mine.
I moved away. ‘Is there anything else?’
He didn’t look up, just continued reading. ‘Nope.’
I got up and left the room feeling confused. Nothing had been said, but there was no doubt I felt something. Was he saying he felt it too and was sincere when he said we’d have lived together if things had been different? Or was he just playing with my head? Attempting to win me over, as I’d watched him do to so many others since his arrival. I tried to convince myself it was harmless, but the sensations and emotions he’d awoken and aroused in me were overwhelming. I was still in my twenties, hadn’t been involved with anyone since Jack.
I thought of the others I’d pitied when they’d fallen in love. I felt ashamed that I’d judged them from the lofty heights of spiritual arrogance and now, here was I, falling for a man who was probably sleeping with the housekeeper, his secretary and God knew who else.
Chapter Forty-One
Jo
Present day, April
Well, blimey O’Riley, my life has changed. Gary and I were now an item, going steady, or whatever it is that people said these days. My kids kept calling and asking when I was coming home, so I took a quick trip back to pick up some clothes and check that my animals were being cared for – a lady from the village was going in daily to take care of all their needs. Like me, she was an animal lover, and I trusted her completely.
‘When are you coming back?’ asked Kirsty.
‘Soon, not sure, I’m having such a good time. I really only came back to check the animals were OK.’
‘Animals? What about us?’ asked Kirsty.
‘You’re old enough to take care of yourself now,’ I replied. ‘It’s about time you lot all started fending for yourselves.’
‘But I’m exhausted, Mum,’ said Kirsty. ‘No one does anything around here.’
I didn’t care. The house was a mess and I could see it needed a good clean and the fridge restocking, but I took a deep breath, let it go and headed back to London, leaving Kirsty looking gobsmacked.
*
Sara and Ally were beginning to lose heart about our Rosie lead, but I was determined to keep trying. On the weekend, I decided to give it one last go and pressed in her number for the umpteenth time.
The phone rang and rang then I heard, ‘Hello?’
‘Oh! Sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone to answer. Is that Rosie Mason?’
‘That’s me.’ Her tone was cautious.
‘Don’t worry, I’m not selling anything. Tom Riley at Harvest in London gave us your number. I’m trying to trace an old friend of mine and I believe you knew her. Her name’s Michelle Blake. Tom said you might know where she is.’
‘I might. How did you know her?’ asked Rosie.
‘We were at school together. My name’s Jo.’
‘Jo. Right. I remember Mitch talking about you.’
‘Do you know where she is?’
‘I do. I had an email from her only last week.’
I felt a rush of adrenalin. ‘You did? So you know where she is?’
‘I do.’
‘Could you tell me where?’ I asked.
‘I could but … I don’t want to hand out her contact details just like that. I’d need to ask her if it’s OK – or maybe we should meet first. Sorry to be cautious, but you really could be anyone and I’d need to check with Mitch if she’d be happy to let you know her whereabouts.’
‘Great, of course, that’s fine. Yes. Thank you.’
We arranged to meet the following Saturday and I went running in to tell Sara and Ally in the kitchen.
‘Result. I spoke to Rosie and she wants to meet us at the weekend.’
‘Does she know where Mitch is?’ Sara asked.
‘She does …’
‘So she’s alive?’ Sara asked.
I nodded and Sara beamed and punched the air.
‘Oh thank god!’ said Ally. ‘What else did she say?”
‘She wants to give us the once-over first, in case we’re lunatics escaped from the asylum.’
‘So she didn’t tell you where Mitch is?’ Sara asked.
‘Not yet, but I think she will.’
Sara got up and hugged me. ‘ ‘Excellent news. I can’t wait.’
‘Me neither,’ said Ally. ‘This calls for celebration. Let’s open some bubbly.’
‘On its way,’ said Sara as she headed for the fridge.
Chapter Forty-Two
Mitch
February 1976
Rosie, Andrew and Gail were chatting at the kitchen table one morning. ‘Have you heard?’ asked Gail when I went to join them. ‘The reason for Adam Sorkin’s visit is because there’s going to be a new training programme to make more indigos, and he’s going to make some more changes.’
Even Alec was unsure what these changes would mean for us – both our roles were in limbo – but strangely this meant we were relaxed about the future and more at ease than usual. We walked in a nearby park, talked about dreams, people we’d known, how our lives might have ended up if we hadn’t got involved with the Rainbow Children.We went to a movie, where once again the proximity of him in the dark, arms touching, felt as charged and erotic as if we were in bed, lying entwined.
At the end of the day, we went back to the house, to our separate rooms, but it felt as if our connection had become stronger. I decided that it was time to open up to Alec, voice the feelings that were unspoken but not unknown.
First I needed to talk it over with Rosie.
‘Hmm,’ she said. ‘How does he feel about you?’
‘I suppose I could be imagining the whole thing. I have no idea really.’
‘He’s a flirt, Mitch. He’s an attractive man who likes to know he is. I’d forget him if I were you.’
I wished it were that easy. I was thinking about him all the time, wanting him. He was an ache that hurt.
After a bad night’s sleep, I decided to make my feelings known. I went to his office