‘I reckon, with Luca’s help,’ I said, ‘we could turn this programme into a positive one instead of a downer. It’s all down to what perspective we take.’
‘Good thinking,’ said Gary. ‘All the other programmes have been upbeat, there’s no reason this one can’t be as well. We won’t shirk the truth that friendships can hurt but we can emphasize that that needn’t be the end. Life goes on.’
‘Life is what you make it, innit?’ I said. I put out my fist to bang knuckles as I had with Luca. Gary and Lauren stared at my hand, unsure what to do.
Chapter Forty-Six
Mitch
April 1976
Rosie and Andrew drove me to the airport and, as we said our goodbyes, Rosie gave me a letter. ‘Alec asked me to give you this,’ she said. ‘If I were you, I’d bin it.’
‘I might well do that,’ I said as I heard my flight being called.
As soon as the flight took off, I got out the envelope that Alec had given me and read his note.
You know you have my fondest love and deepest affection. Let’s get married next time round. Yours truly, Alec. X
I ripped it into small pieces, glad that his words had no effect at all.
As the plane rose into the sky, the city beneath grew smaller until it looked like a toy town. Roads, cars, houses, green fields receded until they were gone and there was just a snowy white mass of clouds underneath us. And that’s the end of you Alec, I thought. You’re a dot on the landscape far below.
‘You heading for Cape Town or Jo’burg?’ asked the man I was sitting next to. I hadn’t really noticed him when I took my seat on the plane but, turning to look at him, I saw a man, probably in his thirties. He had an open, friendly face, tanned and glowing with health, and looking as though he spent a lot of time outdoors.
‘Cape Town,’ I replied.
‘Home, business or pleasure?’
‘Business mainly. You?’
‘I live near there so I’m heading home. Your first visit?’
‘It will be.’
‘It’s a beautiful place. Make sure you see all of it, and especially Stellenbosch, that’s where I live. I know I’m biased, but I believe it’s the loveliest part of South Africa. I hope you have a good stay. I’m Rob, by the way.’
‘Michelle, but everyone calls me Mitch.’
He didn’t chat much more than that and I was thankful. Hostesses brought food, drinks, a movie started up, lights went down, and soon the man next to me was asleep. I glanced at him as he snoozed. He looked a kind man. I thought about what Alec had said to me once back in England. ‘In a different life, we’d have been together.’ That was never going to happen. Maybe in a different life I’d have met this man next to me, had a romance, got married. I laughed to myself. As if. I genuinely didn’t care any more. Flying above the clouds on a twelve-hour flight, I felt as if I had stopped for the first time in years. I thought about my past and my mind turned to my old school friends. We’d all moved on, but I felt that I’d let them down, especially Jo by not attending her wedding. Would it really have been so difficult to have been a bridesmaid for her? I realized that I’d been so caught up in feeling sorry for myself and my losses, I hadn’t allowed for the fact that they too might have been fighting their own battles as they made their way out in the world. They hadn’t the slightest notion what I’d been through with Jack and the baby. I’d broken all the rules of our friendship, the main one being to trust each other always. I’m sorry, Jo, Sara, Ally. One day you might understand, I said to myself. One day.
I must have fallen into a deep sleep because the next thing I knew was that the flight was beginning its descent. As I looked out of the window, I saw the ground beneath; it looked dry, dusty and red, so different to the green fields I’d left back in England.
‘Have you got a lift?’ Rob asked as the seatbelt sign went on.
‘Thank you. I’m being met.’
‘Friends?’
‘Not yet, but I hope they will be.’
‘Ah. You’re going into a new situation?’
I nodded. ‘New chapter.’
He reached into his jacket and pulled out a card. ‘In that case, can I give you my card? My family has a hotel over in Stellenbosch. Should you ever be visiting the area, please give me a call and come and check us out.’
I took the card. ‘Thanks and I might just take you up on that.’
I put the card in my wallet and thought no more about it.
*
The Cape Town commune members were a mix of wonderful characters, all in their twenties and, just as the followers back in the UK, eager and enthusiastic about spreading the message. They gave me a warm welcome at the white colonial-style bungalow where they lived, and I felt at home there from the moment I arrived. It had a garden on all sides, a veranda where we’d eat breakfasts of mango and pawpaw, drink rooibos tea
