That night, after I’d gone to bed, I closed my eyes and it felt as though the last few years were playing like an inner movie in my mind. Ally, Jo and Sara, where were they now? Should I reach out to them if I were to return to the UK? Send postcards. What would I write? Sara Rose. Where was she? Why had I let so many in my life go? Pushed them away; shut them out in my pursuit of a high ideal.
As I stared up at the ceiling, I felt something shift inside me. It was as if I was suddenly remembering who I really was and that there was a world out there, waiting to be explored. I felt that, on some level, I’d been asleep for years and was awakening after a long winter hiding away in hibernation. Something was stirring deep inside, wanting to grow, put its tips up and out into the sun. It was a desire to come out of hiding and really live. Being with the Rainbow Children had provided a safe place to shelter, with not many questions asked about who I was before. I thought back over all the places I’d lived, the communes and the weird and wonderful people in them, and now I was off into another unknown. I could go anywhere in the world. But where? I was rootless, had no ties anywhere. Maybe I’d get on another plane. Just fly away. Go anywhere. America, Europe, Australia. Back to Devon? I’d liked it there and could hook up with Hugh and Minna. Or India? I’d liked it there too. Maybe New Zealand – visit Mum and Dad?
*
I spent the next week in a daze, at sea, without a rudder. As long as I was with the Rainbow Children, I’d had a purpose, a direction. Now that was all gone.
I finally got through to the number the founders had provided on the letter.
‘You’ll be sent a plane ticket back to the UK,’ a girl told me.
‘But what do I do when I get there?’ I asked.
‘Do you have family or friends?’
‘No family. A few friends.’
‘Then I suggest you look them up,’ she said.
‘I have no money.’
‘Ah yes, that. As you can imagine, we can’t hand out funds to everyone who was involved. You’ll have to get a job. See it as a challenge.’
She sounded as if she didn’t give a damn.
I decided to call and ask Rosie if she knew what had happened to Alec.
‘Alec? Oh Mitch, he was one of the first out of here, first plane out back to the States. Please don’t tell me you still hold a candle for him.’
‘Not really. I … oh, I don’t know, everything’s up in the air now isn’t it? I thought he might have been in touch. We were close.’
‘You and about a dozen other women. Gail’s in pieces, not to mention a good number of others. He had his own private harem all convinced they were special to him. You have to let go of him, Mitch. Brutal though it is to say it, there were a number of women he was involved with, all thinking they were The One. He strung you all along. Forget about him.’
I laughed. ‘I will. I was just considering my options and that one has just been deleted from the list,’ I said. Forget about him. Wise words Rosie,I thought after she’d hung up. Let him go. So he’d sent me the note saying let’s get married next time around. He’d probably sent the same card to all his admirers. I’d been stupid to consider him even for a moment. So what are my other options? I asked myself. I didn’t have any. I went to my room and wept, not for Alec but for everyone I’d had to let go in my life – Jack, Ally, Sara, Jo, Sara Rose, my mum and dad, Fi. I was alone in a strange land with no family or friends. What was I to do and where should I go?
*
A week later, I was packed and ready to return to the UK. I’d decided there was nothing for me in South Africa and it would be best to return to the land I knew. Andrew was going to meet me at the airport and Tom had offered to let me stay at his place until I decided what I wanted to do.
Jonas drove me to the airport, where he dropped me off at the departure lounge.
‘You take care,’ I said and gave him a final hug.
‘You too. It’s been short but sweet, but new chapters beckon for both of us.’
I’d grown fond of Jonas and was reassured he had a place to go back to with his family in Durban.
I picked up my bag and walked into the airport where I joined the queue for UK travellers. I’d only been in the line a few moments when someone tapped me on the shoulder.
‘Hey you.’
I turned to see a face I recognized, kind eyes smiling at me. I smiled back at him. ‘Hey yourself. Fancy seeing you here.’
Chapter Forty-Seven
Sara
Present day, April
We were finally meeting Mitch’s friend Rosie.
En route we dropped into the office to see how things were progressing.
‘All looking good,’ Gary glanced at Jo. ‘A lot of editing to do – you’re going to continue to help me sort through what to keep and what to throw?’
‘Sure,’ said Jo. ‘Maybe we could link to some of the pet rescue places and feature animals in there. It could be a real boost for them, help them find homes.’
‘Excellent idea, Jo,’ said Gary. I knew for a fact that Gary had already got Lauren and the researchers on the case looking into the rescue centres. He was asking Jo for her help as an excuse to spend more time with her. Good for him, I
