“No, Gotama,” they all murmured. “Never.”
“I tell you that I have understood the nature of Absolute Reality and I am here to teach it to you if you wish to learn. Do you wish to learn?”
One by one, each of them slowly nodded.
“Excellent,” I said, then spread my arms widely and called out in a loud, clear voice: “The Great Wheel of Truth will now begin to turn!”
10
The following day the ascetics sat before me. “To begin with, bikkhus, there are the Four Noble Truths. Noble Truth Number One: Life is pain.”
I saw slight disappointment in their eyes: “We obviously already knew that, Gotama,” I could imagine they were thinking.
“Noble Truth Number Two:” I continued. “All suffering comes from desire.” I saw more disappointment in their eyes. “We understood that already too, Gotama. That’s why we’re starving ourselves out here, because we’re trying to overcome our desires.”
“Noble Truth Number Three:” I went on, lowering my voice solemnly. “The suffering that stems from desire can be ended.”
Oh, that one got their attention. Kondanna suddenly sat forward and stared at me intently. “But how, Tathagata?”
“That, Kondanna, is Noble Truth Number Four. Are you ready to hear it?”
“Yes, of course!”
“Noble Truth Number Four: All that is required to end desire …” I paused meaningfully: “Is the following eight things.” (SY 45:8)
“I’m sorry … Did you not just say there were Four Noble Truths, Tathagata?”
“I did, Kondanna.”
“Is it not eleven now?”
“No, Kondanna, it is four. It is simply that Noble Truth Number Four has eight parts to it, that’s all.”
“It kind of is eleven then,” I heard another ascetic mutter under his breath.
“No, bikkhu, it is NOT eleven,” I replied sharply. “It is four. Noble Truth Number Four has eight parts to it but that does not change the fact that there are Four Noble Truths.”
“What are the eight parts to Noble Truth Number Four, Tathagata?” Kondanna asked.
“Thank you for asking, Kondanna. The answer is simple. In order to fulfill Noble Truth Number Four and overcome desire, one must do the following eight things: (1) Have the right views; (2) Have the right intentions; (3) Speak the right words; (4) Perform the right actions; (5) Do the right work; (6) Make the right effort; (7) Have the right state of mind and (8) Practice the right concentration.”
There was a lengthy pause, then one of the ascetics said in a small voice, “That actually sounds rather difficult, Tathagata.”
“No, it is quite easy, you will see.”
Kondanna, who had been staring thoughtfully at the ground, suddenly looked up at me, a glimmer of understanding in his eyes. “Are you suggesting, Tathagata, that by following the eight steps of Noble Truth Number Four we might, in time, actually overcome desire?”
“That is exactly what I am suggesting, Kondanna.”
Kondanna continued, his eyes wide and amazed. “And that by overcoming desire, we might achieve nirvana?”
“Kondanna has understood, bikkhus,” I announced. “Kondanna has understood.” (After that day, I gave Kondanna the nickname “Anna Kondanna,” which means “Kondanna has understood.” It was literal, I grant you, but it was definitely accurate.) At the moment of Kondanna’s spiritual awakening, the gods cheered happily. “The dharma wheel has been set in motion and cannot be stopped by anyone on earth!” they all shouted in celebration. It was apparently quite exciting. (DCP 420–24)
The following day, we regathered. “I spoke to you yesterday of the Noble Eightfold Path, bikkhus. Today I will more fully explain it. Some questions for you: When the Tathagata says ‘Right View,’ what does he mean by that? Answer: When the Tathagata says ‘Right View,’ what he means is knowledge of his words. What does the Tathagata mean by ‘Right Intention’? ‘Right Intention’ is the intention to follow the Tathagata’s words. What does he mean by ‘Right Speech’? ‘Right Speech’ means not denying the truth of the Tathagata’s words.”
“Does every step on the Eightfold Path involve nothing more than obeying your words, Tathagata?”
“No, Vappa, the Eightfold Path is far larger and more profound than that. Regarding Right Speech, for instance, it also means don’t speak of trivial things, like clothing or criminals; it means be, you know, lovable. (DG 22; MJ 41) Moving on, step number four on the Noble Eightfold Path is Right Action. There are five specific components to Right Action.”
“Aren’t we sort of up to sixteen now?” I heard one of the ascetics whisper, but I ignored that. “The first rule of Right Action is to not have sex. Sex is very bad, bikkhus, terrible really. It is embarrassing and messy, but more than that sex leads to children who are nothing but fetters placed upon you.”
“But … if there is no sex at all, Tathagata, would not human life come to an end?”
“Indeed it would, Mahanama, and that is the very outcome we wish for (ASV 11:59; SY 35:28), a perfect empty planet, barren of all life! Another rule regarding Right Action: Avoid singing, dancing and putting on theatrical productions. (ANG 8:41) Moving on, step number five on the Noble Eightfold Path is Right Effort. Right Effort mainly involves crushing, yes, CRUSHING, the sexual desires within yourself. Step Number Six is Right Work.”
“What is Right Work, Tathagata?”
“For us, bikkhus, it is begging.”
“For food, Tathagata?”
“Yes, begging for food. For other people, ‘householders,’ let us call them, Right Work means refraining from any job that involves weapons. No job involving knives, for instance, is permissible.”
“What about knives that are used to slice food, Tathagata?”
“Those knives are fine.”
“But couldn’t a food-cutting knife also be used as a weapon, Tathagata?”
“Look, knives that are sharp enough to cut food but not sharp enough to be weapons, alright?” I paused, looked at the ascetics meaningfully. “Now we reach the two final, yet most important steps of the Noble Eightfold Path, bikkhus. Step number seven is Right Mindfulness.”
“What does it mean, Tathagata?”
“It means to be aware, Assaji. When you are sitting,
