All he wanted was Tenzin. All he wanted was for her to be alive.
If she was so pissed at him she never spoke to him again, he’d be fine, he just needed her to be alive.
Be alive!
Ben fell to his knees, staring at the empty field of ashes.
Nothing.
No sound.
No life.
The air curled around him and cooled the tears on his face.
It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Was this how she’d felt? Was there an empty gaping hole in the center of her chest where his life had been?
She can’t be gone.
She can’t be gone.
She was Tenzin. The idea of her not existing didn’t even make sense. She always had a plan. She couldn’t be gone.
Silence.
The wind lifted him and turned him around. He felt the currents reaching beneath his clothes and pressing against his skin like gentle hands comforting him.
But Ben didn’t want the wind; he wanted her.
His amnis was wild, whipping the air around him, churning the ashes on the grass. Confused and broken, the wind lifted him and turned him, raising him from the earth to the sky. It whispered to his amnis.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
You are alive and I am here.
The air stilled and the clouds scattered, revealing a blanket of stars.
“Benjamin?”
He opened his eyes and she was hovering over him. Her face was covered in dirt, not ashes, and her eyes were clear and calm.
His lips cracked when he spoke. “Am I dreaming?”
“No.” She reached out and touched his face. “I’m here.”
Choking back a cry, Ben reached up and pulled her into his arms.
34
Ben’s mouth found hers and stole her breath. Tenzin had flown back to camp, prepared for his irritation and ready with explanations. She’d felt his amnis going wild from nearly a mile away. She’d flown faster, expecting to find him in a rage.
He hadn’t been raging. He’d been grieving. He’d thought she was dead.
Tenzin pulled her mouth away, keeping both hands on Ben’s ash-stained cheeks. “I’m here.”
His voice broke. “You were gone.”
“I flew away.”
“I thought you were gone, Tenzin.”
“I’m not. I’m here.”
Ben clutched her closer and buried his face in her neck. He didn’t speak. He didn’t say a word, but his arms welded her body to his as if he was afraid for even the air to come between them.
“Ben—”
He cut her off when his mouth found hers again. He ran his fingers into the hair at her nape and gripped. Tenzin wrapped both her legs around him as they spun in space. She ran her fingers through his hair, drinking in the tactile sensation of his touch, his amnis embracing her, his mouth moving over hers as the air held them in its soft embrace.
Ben had kissed her before, but not like this. He’d been playful. He’d been angry. He’d been hungry.
This.
This was different.
There was still an edge of desperation to his touch, but his lips met hers over and over, drinking her in, savoring the taste of her, lingering a breath away, then taking her mouth again.
“You’re alive,” he whispered between kisses.
“I’m alive.”
“You had a plan.”
“I always have a plan.”
His amnis built on hers like a storm gathering over mountains. Tenzin couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t need to. She didn’t need to speak. For once, they didn’t need to speak at all.
Ben guided them to the ground and led her to the trailer where he’d been sleeping. His was completely intact. As promised, Vano hadn’t tried to burn that one.
She’d watched them drive away under the burning caravan. Watched them argue before they left. Ben’s trailer had been intact and undisturbed.
Then René opened the ground to shield them from the heat and the flames.
Ben opened the door and lifted Tenzin from the ground and into the trailer, not even letting her feet touch the steps.
Tenzin snapped back into the moment. When he did things like that, she was wholly conscious of his physicality. He was a large man, far more muscular and solid than her slight frame.
An old voice hissed in her mind. He could hurt you.
He could not, a softer voice said. He would not.
Ben towered over her, running his fingers through her hair, teasing leaves and branches out and tossing them away. With one arm, he reached over and flipped on the water nozzle in the small shower. Almost immediately, steam began filling the space around them.
He reached down and began to peel off her dirty clothes.
She reached for him. “Ben, I’m fine.”
“Let me.” His voice cracked. “I know you hate the dirt.”
Tenzin nodded and allowed him to pull her tunic over her head. He gently pushed down her leggings, and she stepped out of them. Then she climbed in the shower. He tilted her head back and ran the water through her hair.
She felt the warm rivulets coursing down her body, washing away the dirt that had crusted to her. She stared at his bare chest, dusted grey with ash. Black streaks marked his torso. He was wearing only a pair of loose pants, and she could see the erection rising beneath them, but he was solely focused on her.
Ben took a bar of soap and ran it over her shoulders and down her arms. He rubbed soap in his hands and ghosted them over her breasts and her back, sliding his fingers over her skin.
“You’re covered in ashes.”
“I’m not hurt.”
Tenzin put a hand over his heart, and it offered her two rapid beats before it fell silent. “I miss your heartbeat. Have I told you that?”
His voice was barely over a whisper. “No.”
“I do.” She closed her eyes. “I miss your beautiful dark eyes. I miss the way they used to look at me.”
Ben’s amnis, which he’d held so tightly as he bathed her, broke free and rushed over her. He fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around her waist as he fell. He pressed his cheek
