The faintest gray light in the east tells me it’s almost dawn, but the greenish black, inky sky to the north tells a different story,
“The storm’s easing,” Tessa observes dreamily, looking a little startled when I punch the truck into gear, driving faster than ever along the track to get us going again.
“Sean? What’s wrong…?” She asks, a tremor in her voice, “I said I was sorry.”
I shake my head, wanting to reach out to her but needing both hands on the wheel.
“It’s not that. Tess. That storm? It’s about to become a tornado and I need us to get as far away from here as possible… why’d you run baby? What made you so scared?”
I have to ask her.
Between the storm and her taking off, it’s her disappearing act that has me worried the most.
I glance over to her in the rear view, my eyes a question. She looks away, out the window and I can see her starting to shudder with tears again.
“Tess,” I say, “Tell me what happened back there… what made you run?”
She looks straight ahead, and I can see she’s summoning up the courage to tell me something. I just need to know she’s alright, that nothing back at the camp hurt her or threatened her in any way.
“It was a long time ago,” she starts to say, “And until tonight, until just before, I’d made myself forget all about it.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Tessa
I’ve never been in a tornado, and I don’t think Sean wants to share one with me either. There was one out this way years ago, I heard it on the news, but it was long before or after I’d ever been to camp here.
I enjoyed my trips up to Beaver Pines, I really did. But until tonight I’d always repressed the memories of those kids who were so cruel, so mean to me and the one time they took things too far.
It’s hard enough for me to recall it in my own mind, let alone just blurt it all out to Sean.
A lot of it’s so hazy in my mind anyway, to the point I often wonder if it really happened at all. But the reaction I had being near the place, the nightmares I still have trouble explaining. It doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to tell me I have an underlying issue with camp, even though I have so many fond memories of it too.
Especially my Sean memories.
Especially the most recent Sean memories.
But before I can tell Sean anything, before I can even bring myself to relive that night. I have to know, why would Sean choose me?
I can tell Sean has other things on his mind, but if he wants me, if he really wants to understand me, he’ll have to accept that I’m battling with his attraction to me.
To one part of me, it just doesn’t make sense.
“Why me, Sean?” I ask, making him frown. “Why do you want to be with me, you could have any girl you want?”
“I don’t want any other girl, Tess.” He says flatly, without even thinking about it. “You’re mine now, I told you… we just… don’t you remember? Have you hit your head on something?”
He looks concerned and protective, as always. Here I am griping about having the greatest man alive wanting me because I don’t believe it. Because it really does feel like it’s too good to be true.
“What happened, Tess?” He asks me again, “Did something happen at camp? When you were younger? If it did, you could’ve come to any one of the counselors.”
Sean is driving at speed, navigating the track away from the campsite, and as soon as we hit the sealed bitumen of the highway, he reaches out and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze.
“I meant what I said, Tessa,” he reminds me, “you’re mine and only mine… remember how we felt together last night? Remember? Don’t tell me you don’t think that wasn’t real.”
“I just don’t get how you could…” I start to say, but I feel all those old emotions boiling over again.
The girls from the dorm, waking me up after lights out and dragging me to the old barn that used to be on the campsite.
“Whoever told you to be so hard on yourself was wrong, Tessa,” Sean says, squeezing my hand again and then stroking my hair as he drives.
“Now, you can tell me what happened or not, but it doesn’t change a thing. You’re my woman now, and I love you. You’re mine for keeps and I’m yours, whether you want to believe that or not. I’m not letting you go again, Tess. Not ever.”
Hearing him say he loves me, it takes away all the pain, the fear and all my self-doubt from the past. All in one go.
To hear Sean say it so clearly, so calmly and matter of fact. It’s the sweetest sound ever and all I can do is hear it echoing in my mind as I try and formulate a thought. To even begin to think where to begin again.
“D’ya hear me, Tess?” he asks, looking into my eyes as he holds my face with one hand, his voice shaking a little as he says it again.
“I love you.”
My eyes narrow at the thought of those girls, what they did. It was harmless enough I suppose, might have seemed that way to some at the time. But it scared me to death. Made me afraid of the dark, scared of storms and I sure as hell never had bacon ever again.
“What happened, Tess? Tell me,” Sean says gently, teasing it out of me like a splinter from an old wound
“One of the last times I was at camp, there was a storm… not like tonight, but a different kind of storm.”
I notice Sean ducking his head, looking up at the sky through the windshield. Dawn light’s struggling through the dark clouds, with an eerie light cast over everything, the woods on our left look like they’ve been
