"What's up?" I walked right up to her.
"Nothing. Just don't feel that well."
"What's wrong?" I eyed her up and down. She didn't look sick. On the contrary, she looked better than I'd ever seen her look before. Her cheeks were pink, her lips shined a bit and her eyes looked bigger somehow.
She shrugged, "Have a headache. I think I'm going to go home."
"No. You can't. I need my wing girl."
"Mike..." She shook her head and her words tapered off and I realized I was being a selfish prick.
"Shame. You're right. Go home and take some headache tabs. I'll call you later to check up on you."
"Maria." We both turned as Jarrod walked towards us. "I didn't realize the party had moved outside." He flashed me a look that was vaguely combative. Like he was tying to make it clear that Maria was his property. I didn't like that. I didn't like him.
"Maria's not feeling great. Head ache." I said with a deliberate sour edge to my voice. I hoped he wasn't as thick as he looked and had the ability to pick up on hints.
He did. He shot me another mucho-ass look and slid an arm around Maria's shoulder. I really, really didn't like that.
"Do you want to go?" Jarrod asked Maria. I mentally rolled my eyes, I knew there was no way that Maria was going to just leave-
But she nodded.
What the F? She nodded and then turned, barley saying goodbye to me, and walked off across the grass with Jarrod. An unfamiliar feeling rushed over me and it caused my stomach to plummet, or something dramatic like that. I couldn't believe she was just leaving. Leaving.
And then a thought hit me, had she just made up that headache thing so she could leave the party and have some 'alone-time' with Jarrod?
I felt a little sick.
Maria
MARIA
I just couldn't!
I couldn't be there and watch him perving over those other girls; looking at them all and wondering which one had kissed him. And I certainly couldn't stay there after Brett had made such a big deal about what I was wearing. In that moment I'd wanted to fucking disappear. I was never dressing like that again. Ever! It had made me feel so naked. I've always been self conscious, I have no idea why, maybe it's because MacKenzie has enough self confidence for both of us, make that enough for the entire female population of our high school. I was quite happy to leave that kind of dressing up to her and stick to my lame, baggy shirts.
After sitting for an hour or so with Jarrod in my lounge and hearing about this invisible secret part of the internet called the dark web – a place you can hire hit men if you wanted to- I said and awkward goodbye to him. I think he might have been expecting a kiss, or maybe a hug that lingered longer than I had let it. He wasn't' a bad guy. In fact, he was interesting and certainly kind and considerate, unlike half the other guys I knew. But I knew that I would never like him in that way. When I compared him to Mike, which is what I did with everyone, he didn't even come close. No one would come close, and that was the problem.
Once he'd gone I walked into my room and immediately changed, putting my Burmuda shirt back on. I stood in front of the mirror and looked at this version of myself that I didn't particularly like. I'd never tried to be anything but myself, but as I stared at my lash smudged mascara, my pink cheeks and the tiny remains of sticky lip gloss stuck in the corners of my mouth, I didn't like what I saw. I grabbed a handful of tissues and spat into them and started wiping the make-up off my face. Unladylike, I know but I didn't have any fancy remover stuff. I made sure to ruffle my hair until it looked rebellious and unruly as hell.
I stared at my shirt and wished I was there, under the palms and the sunset. I wished I was anywhere else right now. Everything felt like it was closing in on me at the moment. The thing I could always rely on for stability, felt shaky. Mike.
Our relationship had always been the one constant in my life. The one thing that never changed, the one thing I could always lean on for support, but lately, it was different. He was different and so was I.
For starters I'd never lied to him before and it was killing me. And secondly, he seemed so preoccupied with this hunt for the mystery kisser that he was distant. And the more distant and obsessed he became, the further away he seemed to slip through my fingers, not that he was ever in them, but any possibility seemed to be dying a fast death. My stomached knotted. I hoped that this wasn't something that was going to end so badly that it would just fuck up our relationship. I needed to distract myself, so I sat down at my computer and flipped it open.
I'd kind of planned this trip around the world after school. I'd already told my parents that I wanted to take a gap year before college. My mother had freaked out, obviously, but my dad had thought it was a good idea, which hadn't surprised me. Under that suit and tie he's a wild one.
When my grandparents had died they'd left my sister and I some money and unlike Mckenzie, I'd invested mine and it had grown enough that it would cover my travel plans
