Luca turned his back, drawing in a deep breath, his hands on his hips in a braced position. ‘Stop it, Artie. This is a pointless discussion. You’re making me out to be someone I can never be.’
Artie ran her tongue over her dry lips, tasting the metallic bitterness of disappointment. She clasped her hands together in front of her body, trying to contain the emotions rioting through her. ‘You’ll never be free of the prison of the past unless you learn to let go of control. To allow yourself to be reckless with your heart, to open it to the feelings I know you’ve buried there. I’ve let go of control. I’ve opened my heart to you. Why can’t you do it for me? If you won’t do it for me, then it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to continue in a relationship that is so out of balance.’
‘It’s not out of balance.’ Luca swung back around to face her. ‘I made it so we both get what we want. At the end of six months, you get to keep the castello and Nonno completes his chemo. It’s a win-win.’
She shook her head at him. ‘It’s a lose-lose but you can’t see it. I would choose love over a run-down old castle any day. And how are you going to explain the end of our marriage to your grandfather?’
He gave a dismissive shrug. ‘Marriages break up all the time. It won’t matter by then because he’ll have finished the course of treatment. As I said—win-win.’ His tone had a businesslike ring to it. No emotions. Ticking a box. Deal done.
Artie steepled her fingers around her nose and mouth, concentrating on keeping calm even though inside she was crumbling, the very foundations of her under assault as self-doubts rained down on her. She wasn’t worthy of his love. She wasn’t good enough. She was defective, damaged. He didn’t love her. He would never love her. He had only married her as a means to an end, and yet she had fooled herself he was developing feelings for her. She was a fool for thinking he felt more for her than companionship and care.
Her old friend panic crept up behind her…lurking in the background.
You can’t survive on your own. Stay with him. Put up and shut up.
Her skin prickled, fear slid into her stomach and coiled around her intestines, squeezing, tightening.
You’ll lose the castello if you leave him now.
But Artie knew she couldn’t lock herself in another prison. Staying with Luca in a loveless marriage for the next few months would be the same as locking herself in the castello. Shutting herself away from her hopes and dreams. From her potential.
From love.
She couldn’t go back to being that frightened person now. She had to forge her way through with the strength and courage Luca had inspired in her. He had awakened her to what she most wanted in life and it would be wrong to go backwards, to silence the hopes and dreams she harboured. She owed it to herself to embrace life. To live life fully instead of living in negative solitude.
Artie lowered her hands from her face and straightened her shoulders, meeting his cold gaze with a sinking feeling in her stomach. ‘I don’t think there’s any point in waiting out the six months. It will only make it harder for me. It’s best if I leave now.’
A ripple of tension whipped over his face and his hands clenched into fists by his sides. ‘Now? Are you crazy? You can’t leave. We made an agreement.’ There was a restricted quality to his voice. ‘You’ll lose everything if you leave now.’
Artie sighed. ‘I can’t be with you if you don’t love me. It wouldn’t be healthy for me. It would only reinforce the negative feelings I’ve had about myself in the past. That I’m not worthy, that I’m somehow the cause of everything bad that happens to me and those I care about. I need to leave that part of my life behind now. I need to embrace life as a fully awakened adult woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it.’
His hand scraped through his hair, leaving tracks in the thick black strands. He muttered a curse word in Italian, his mouth pulled so tight there were white tips at the corners. ‘I can’t stop you leaving but I should warn you there will be consequences. I’m not going to hand over a property with the potential of Castello Mireille just because you’ve pulled the plug on our agreement. I will keep it. I will develop it into a hotel and then I’ll sell it.’ His eyes flashed with green and brown sparks of anger. An anger so palpable it crackled in the air.
Artie ground her teeth, fighting to keep control of her own anger. ‘Do what you need to do, Luca. I won’t stand in your way. And I don’t expect you to stand in mine.’ She moved across to where she had left her phone. ‘I’m going to call Rosa to come and get me.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Luca said. ‘It’ll take her hours to get here.’
Artie faced him, phone in hand, eyebrows arched. ‘Will you drive me?’
His top lip curled and his eyes turned to flint. ‘You must be joking.’
Her chin came up. ‘I’m not.’
He released a savage breath and muttered another curse. ‘I’ll organise a driver.’ He took out his own phone and selected a number
