Losing Luca was like a death. He was gone from her life and she couldn’t get him back, not unless she compromised herself in the process. And hadn’t she compromised herself enough for the last decade? Denying herself any sort of life, any sort of enjoyment and happiness out of guilt?
She was no longer the girl in a psychological coma. She was awake to her potential, awake to what she wanted and no longer afraid to aim for it, even if it meant suffering heartbreak along the way. Luca was everything she wanted in a husband, but if he didn’t love her, then how could she ever be happy settling for anything less than his whole heart?
Artie was working in the morning room on a christening gown for one of the villager’s baby, waiting for Rosa to bring in morning tea. There was a certain sadness in working on babies’ clothes when it was highly likely she would never have a baby now. How could she without Luca, the only man she wanted to have children with? The only man she could ever love? She placed another neat stitch in the christening gown, wondering what he was doing now. Working, no doubt. Visiting his grandfather. Taking a new lover to replace her… Her insides revolted at the thought of him making love to someone else. Artie forced herself to concentrate on her embroidery rather than torturing herself. The weeks since coming home, she had decided to pour her energy into her craft and had even set up a social media page and website. To take it from a hobby to a business. She had orders coming in so quickly she could barely keep up. But it gave her the distraction she needed to take her mind off Luca and their broken marriage.
Rosa came in carrying a tray with their refreshments. She set it on the table in front of Artie and then sat down beside her, taking a cup of tea for herself off the tray. ‘I’m thinking about taking a little holiday. I know my timing isn’t good, given the situation with you and Luca, but I thought it was time I saw a bit of the world outside these walls now you’re a little more independent.’
Artie put the christening gown to one side, wrapping it in the white muslin cloth she used to protect it. ‘Oh, Rosa, I feel bad you’ve been stuck here with me for so long. But you don’t have to worry about me now. I’ve been to the village several times this week on my own and even had coffee at the café a couple of times. I can’t say it’s easy, but I do it and feel better for it.’
‘I’m so glad you’re able to do more.’ Rosa sighed and continued, ‘While you were staying with Luca, I realised I might have been holding you back. Don’t get me wrong—I wanted to help you, but I think my reasons were not as altruistic as you think.’
Artie frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
Rosa looked a little shamefaced. ‘When I got my heart broken all those years ago, I locked myself away here working for your family. It was my way of avoiding being hurt again. But I worry that I might have inadvertently held you back by allowing you to become dependent on me.’
‘You haven’t done any such thing,’ Artie said. ‘I held myself back and now I’m moving forward. But I can’t thank you enough for being there when I needed you.’
Rosa’s expression was tender with concern. ‘Have you heard from Luca?’
Artie sighed and shook her head. ‘No. Nothing.’
‘Have you called or texted him?’
Artie leaned forward to reach for a teacup. ‘What would be the point? I told him how I feel and he didn’t feel the same, so end of story. I have to move on with my life. Without him.’
Rosa toyed with the hem of her flowered dress in an abstracted manner. ‘What will you do if or when he sells the castello?’
‘I’ll find somewhere else to live. I can’t live in a place this big. It’s not practical.’ Artie’s shoulders went down on a sigh. ‘I’ll always have wonderful memories of being here with Mama and Papa before the accident but it’s well and truly time to move on. Someone else can live here and make their own memories.’
Rosa straightened the folds of her dress over her knees. ‘The holiday I was telling you about…? I’m going with a…a friend.’
Artie’s interest was piqued by the housekeeper’s sheepish tone. She put the teacup back down on the table in front of her. ‘Who is the friend?’
Twin spots of colour appeared in Rosa’s cheeks. ‘Remember I told you about the love of my life who got away? Well, Sergio and I met up while you were staying with Luca. We’ve been seeing each other now and again since. He’s asked me to go away with him for a short holiday. I won’t go if you need me here, though.’
Artie leaned over to give Rosa a hug. ‘I’m so happy for you.’ She leaned back to look at her. ‘I will always need you, Rosa, but as a friend, not as a babysitter.’
Rosa grimaced. ‘You don’t think I’m too old to be galivanting off with a man?’
Artie smiled. ‘Not if you love him and he loves you.’
If only I should be so lucky.
* * *
Luca put off telling his grandfather about Artie leaving him for as long as he could because he didn’t want to say the words out loud. She left me. But when Nonno was released from hospital and transferred into a cancer therapy unit, Luca had to explain why Artie wasn’t with him. She left me. Those three words were like bullet wounds in his chest, raw, seeping, deep.
Nonno’s distress at hearing Luca’s news about his marriage was almost as bad as his own. ‘But why? She’s perfect for you, Luca. Why haven’t you gone after her and brought her back?’
‘Nonno,
