While still surfing the wave of euphoria at what might come, I hurriedly grabbed my keys, ran to my car, and pulled out. This was so unlike me—work made me operate in a steady, focused state that was almost impossible to break. I would feel utterly exhausted, sure, but in the act, I didn’t move like a wave; I moved like a steady line, going up only as needed to meet the criteria of the given situation.
But, then again, getting a surprise bouquet of flowers and an invitation to one of the fanciest restaurants in Sacramento was not exactly like normal life, either.
I got all the way out to the highway when the sickening feelings of doubt crept in again. It had to be a trick by Malcolm, didn’t it? He’d upped his game since he’d gone to prison. No longer was it enough just to beat me or call me a fucking whore; now he had to shame me in public without getting his ass thrown in jail.
You’re just…
Breathe.
I closed my eyes for half a second, took a deep breath, and inhaled.
It wasn’t enough to totally calm me, but it kept me from doing anything drastic. I really was going to go on this date, consequences of looking silly or embarrassed be damned.
* * *
When I pulled up to the restaurant, I immediately did a U-turn.
Thirty bucks to valet my car? In downtown Sacramento? I was not a cheap bastard by any stretch of the imagination, but I had my limits. Even though it was one minute to eight, whoever had bought me those flowers and arranged for this date to happen would just have to wait.
I eventually settled on paying a ten-dollar flat fee for a nearby parking deck; I really wanted street parking, but knowing how California drivers were, I just settled on paying a small fee so that my car wouldn’t get dinged and nicked for the next hour. Or two, or three, depending on whether or not there are drinks.
You mean, next hour. First date, Izzy, and quite possibly with someone you don’t want to see.
I walked up the flight of stairs, my stomach roiling like it hadn’t in years. Every step felt like it was destroying my legs; I’d had workouts lasting two hours where my legs burned less than this.
The sight of the open doors, with a host waiting for me with a smile, was the point of no return. I mean, really, I’d said that to myself multiple times already, but this really was the last chance. In truth, Nick—or, I mean, whoever had invited me—could probably see me right now, waffling and being afraid to enter like a fool. He may have thought that I was some prize worth chasing, but there was no way he was feeling that right now.
I put one foot forward. I did not see Malcolm anywhere. And frankly, with the number of executives, athletes, and actors I recognized from my days recruiting people for events, there was no way Malcolm could afford a place like this. Even if he had pooled all of his resources to get a night here, he wouldn’t have; there were more economical ways to try to hurt me and take advantage of me.
“Hi,” I said to the front desk. “I’m Izzy Saunders, I, uhh, have a…I guess you’d call it a blind date?”
That sounded so high school. What was I even doing here?
“Oh, yes, Miss Saunders, of course. Right this way, please.”
Right this way. So he’s here. He’s really here.
My heart rate must have easily jumped into the triple digits by this point. Even though I didn’t think anyone else at the restaurant knew me, I just had the gut feeling that all eyes were falling on me. If that wasn’t the case, I was analyzing everything enough myself that the weight was as if a thousand pairs of eyes rested on my every move.
“And here we are,” the waiter said after just a single turn.
Nick Ferrari.
It was him.
It was really fucking him.
Thank God it’s not Malcolm.
“Izzy Saunders?” he said, that literal million-dollar smile beaming as he rose and offered his hand. His hand? Wait, should I go in for the hug? “I’m Nick Ferrari; it’s a pleasure to meet you up close.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words would not emerge. I had plenty to say, plenty to ask about, plenty to question him with, but the sheer amazement at how this was unfolding prevented me from saying a single word. Just…just recounting it seemed even more ridiculous than it was in real life.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
It was almost unfair how much calmer he was than me. It was like I was the floundering idiot, unable to so much as even say hello, and here Nick was, as cool as he had looked on stage at Fresno State. Who was the organizer of that again? Had it really been me?
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I finally said.
And then I just started laughing as I took Nick’s hand. How else could I react? Nick waved the waiter away before turning his eyes back to me.
“I hope I didn’t offend you by doing this,” he said.
“No!” I said, my voice still broken up with laughter. “It’s just…wow, I couldn’t have planned this on stage if I wanted to! It’s just so…it still doesn’t seem real.”
Nick put a hand on my shoulder, and my entire body felt a rush of warmth coursing through it. I looked into his eyes and could not lie; the temptation to just keep going with this absurdity
