Strange. We don’t really have any wineries or big clients out there. Whatever.
“And Layla?”
“She’s somewhere, reaching out to stuffy European men. What’s up with you? Seriously, you look—”
“TMZ posted something about me and the lady,” I said.
Brett’s face went pale. He had nowhere near the exposure and publicity that I did, but anyone in the Ferrari family had dealt with the media at times, and we all knew the rule our grandfather had handed down. Be polite but be opaque; violating the latter would get you in more trouble than the former.
“Shit. Come on. Let’s go figure it out.”
But the problem was, I didn’t think there was any “figuring it out.” The world now knew about Izzy and me.
And unfortunately, the world was not an especially merciful place when it uncovered a dramatic “secret” like this.
Chapter 10: Izzy
The issue wasn’t that I didn’t like Nick.
I liked him a lot. I actually had come to appreciate his constant messaging and kindness; once I realized that I didn’t have to repeat my ugly relationship with Malcolm, that I would eventually settle in to liking the opposite, then I looked forward to hearing from him.
It was that I had no idea how the hell our lives were supposed to work together.
First, the fact that we’d met in a work setting was awkward as hell, although to some extent, that could be circumnavigated. I’d just have to avoid taking assignments with the Giants or with him.
The biggest issue was the level of publicity we each had. I desperately avoided anyone knowing where I was; I’d deleted social media accounts for a reason, and it wasn’t because I wanted some generic privacy or disliked big tech companies. Nick, meanwhile, couldn’t drive down the highway without someone honking at him and asking him to hit a home run that night. And somehow, those two levels of public and private were supposed to work together over a lifetime?
It was like asking one person who believed in saving themselves for marriage to date someone who believed in polygamy right from the get-go. Sure, it could work…but was it likely? Only a fool would bet on it.
And yet, Nick was so sweet, so nice, so handsome, so hot…
I almost wished I had slept with him. But, then again, if I had, I’d probably be acting even more of a fool than I was now. Sex had made me ignore a lot of red flags with Malcolm.
I sat at my desk, reading through emails, trying to arrange a speaker series for the downtown Sacramento hackathon. Jordan and Rachel had not yet visited for the day, though they had been visiting a lot less frequently recently. I think they understood my stress—
“Hey.”
So much for that.
I turned in my chair with a business smile and saw Jordan with a concerned look on her face.
“I am just going to say this straight to you,” she said. “Did you know TMZ posted a photo of you and Nick Ferrari?”
Oh…oh no…
“Just to be clear, I don’t have a problem with it, but I know…”
Jordan cut herself off. I turned to my computer, went to TMZ’s website, and looked in horror at the computer screen. It was me, all right. It was Nick, yep. It was the two of us the night we had gone to Downtown Cocktail Lounge. It was the night I’d almost slept with him.
And seeing that photo as it was, the whole fucking world probably thought that I had slept with him. Including…
“If you need to go home, Izzy, I’ll understand—”
“I…I…”
I couldn’t find the words. This was the worst thing ever. Malcolm would find out. Malcolm didn’t even need to scour Facebook or any social media site; he just had it handed to him. Even if he didn’t check TMZ, one of his asshole friends would find out and tell him. He’d come for me…he’d come for Ryan…he’d come for us and hurt us…
My chest felt like it was tightening. It became difficult to breathe. My vision felt like it was narrowing to a tunnel. Panic struck me. Malcolm was coming to the Bay Area. He was going to find me. He was going to hurt me. He might even kill me.
“This can’t be, this can’t be happening…”
“Izzy,” Jordan said. She stepped inside and shut the door of my office. “Whatever you need to do, whatever steps you have to take, I will help you. I’m not saying this as your boss. I’m saying this as someone who knows what you went through.”
The thought was appreciated, but my panic had such momentum, it didn’t matter what Jordan said. Malcolm was going to take Ryan, take him away from me. I’d never see him again. Would he hurt the boy; would he kill him? He was capable of it…Oh fuck. Oh shit.
Jordan sat across from me and gently held my hand. It was, somehow, just what I needed to arrest the rising panic. It wasn’t a panacea, but it did enough to slow down and eventually stall out the fear. Slowly, very, very slowly, I came down. I tried not to cry, but I knew that was going to happen at some point.
“Izzy,” Jordan said. “We’re here for you. I will make calls to TMZ. I will do what I can to get this down.”
I nodded and gasped for air. My rational mind was starting to come back. I could breathe, albeit still with some difficulty. I could make sense of what was happening and what might happen.
Unfortunately, sobering up only made me realize that the worst-case scenario actually had a disturbing chance of happening.
“He’s going to come here,” I said, my voice far too steady to indicate it came from a state of paranoia. “He’s going to hunt Ryan and
