Chapter 20: Izzy
When I saw Nick disappear to take a second phone call, as the lust and affection that I felt for him naturally momentarily subsided, I suddenly found myself going through something of a withdrawal.
I missed work. I didn’t like to think of myself as a workaholic, but I really did love my job. I missed hanging out with Jordan and Rachel, even if the latter could sometimes be a little overwhelming.
I wouldn’t miss the emails and the work that had piled up, but I knew the two of them would do their best to stay on top of the assignments as they came in. They didn’t leave me out to dry.
I missed some of the smaller parts of my daily routine. The comfort of going for a lunch-time jog. The thoughts of being able to go out and not have to worry about “the possibility” but instead now “the repeat” of awful events.
But most of all, I missed Ryan.
I missed having him around the house.
I missed holding him in my arms. There was just nothing that mattered to me more than my son, and as good as Nick and I were together to date, if anything made me choose between him or my little boy, there was no doubt which I would pick. It was of pretty good fortune that not only was that not likely, but Nick actually seemed to take a liking to Ryan, or at least the idea of him.
But then I thought about how I had lost some things that I would never get back.
I would never get back my normalcy, especially at work. Everyone in that office had either seen me wheeled out or had heard about it, and it wasn’t like all of the swelling and bruises had come because I had fallen down in the shower. Even some of my vendors and clients would likely hear about it. I didn’t want to think at all about what they would say.
If it didn’t work out with Nick—something I wasn’t really worried about, but something that was by no means impossible—I would never be able to go on a normal date again without worrying that Malcolm would ruin it somehow. I got really lucky with Nick that he was understanding and willing to fight back. Most men would have justifiably thought I wasn’t worth the trouble.
And what of Nick and me? The secret was anything but now. On the one hand, that had made my feelings for him pretty clear and easy. But on the other, what happened now? We hadn’t even had a talk about being together, or—
Then he came back into view, and even though he looked a little frazzled by what had happened on the phone, all of those worries just sort of disappeared, went right out the window. I didn’t have a good logical explanation as to why; if I had to take the witness stand in court to explain why seeing Nick put me at ease, I couldn’t give a coherent answer.
All I knew was that my body felt light, my blood pressure dropped, and a smile naturally curled my lips at his presence. And then, when he asked if he could spend the next few nights with me, it was like my own guardian angel had promised to keep full watch.
“Of course you can stay,” I said. “I am going to have to bring Ryan home at some point, anyway. It might be a good chance for you two to get acquainted.”
“Oh, I didn’t even think of that,” he said. “I can stay away while he’s around if you want, I know most parents don’t—”
But I put a finger to his lips. He was different.
“The fact that you’re here now, after what Malcolm did, tells me I can trust you with him.”
And that I have a gut feeling you’ll be around for a long, long time.
“Well, that makes me feel so…thank you, Izzy,” he said, pulling me in for a kiss. “By the way, I can’t believe you’re washing these dishes right now. You should be settling in for a bath or something.”
“It’s fine, it’s—”
“No, no, I insist, in fact…”
He let the words hang as he walked into my room. Seconds later, I heard the bathwater running. OK, I had to admit, the idea of a long bath did have an enormous amount of appeal…
“So, am I supposed to assume that you’re going to wash the dishes?” I said with a hint of sarcasm. “Mr. Ferrari, reduced to washing his lady’s dishes?”
“Hey, it’s not like I’m a rich villain who makes my butler do everything,” he said as he, in fact, took a dish out of my hand. “You go and get in the bathtub. You let the hot water soothe your body. It will do you some good. I’ll clean up in here.”
I could see there was no arguing—not that I really wanted to per se, but even if I felt like putting up a fight, Nick Ferrari just wouldn’t have it.
“Fine,” I said with a playful eye roll. “But make sure you put all the dishes in the right place. I’m very used to having things done my way, and it’s going to drive me insane if I do not have that set up right. Ask my father about it sometime.”
“I’m sure I will at some point. Now, go.”
He kissed me on the forehead and gently, almost as if I were made of glass, nudged me in the direction of the bathroom. I was sort of impressed with the audacity with which he spoke as if he just assumed that he would get the chance to meet my father at some point. He wasn’t wrong—if he was going to meet Ryan, he was definitely going to meet my father—but damn.
It
