Emma didn’t say anything, but she followed Kat without protest.
“Keep counting and breathing,” Kat said as they walked down the deserted hallways. “Good girl. You’re okay. Keep breathing just like that.”
When they got to the nurse’s office, Kat swore under her breath when she saw that the nurse was at lunch. Perfect. What was she supposed to do now? She wasn’t exactly a trained medical professional.
She sat Emma down in one of the chairs, kneeling in front of her. She continued counting and making Emma take slow, deep breaths, but as the minutes passed, Kat could tell that Emma’s initial calm was disappearing already. Tears filled her eyes and trailed down her pale cheeks. Kat rubbed her hands, murmuring soothing things, desperate to try to keep the girl from panicking.
Emma started wheezing. Kat went searching for a paper bag, something she could use to help Emma, and she snatched a bag from inside one of the cabinets.
“Breathe into this,” she instructed as she handed the bag to Emma. “And I’ll count for you. Breathe in, one, two, three, four…”
Emma’s breath hiccupped with sobs, and it broke Kat’s heart. What had terrified Emma so much? She remembered her conversation with Grace at Trudy’s, and she wondered once again if Emma wasn’t suffering from some kind of anxiety disorder. This couldn’t be normal behavior for an eight-year-old, right?
The nurse still hadn’t returned, but fortunately, Emma’s breathing calmed down. Tears still fell from her eyes, though, and Kat rubbed her hands to soothe her.
“I think I’m dying,” Emma said. “I couldn’t breathe.”
“I know, but you’re okay. You’ll be okay. I promise.”
“I had a dream last night that my mom…” Emma bit her lip. “She was in a car accident. What if she dies? What if I saw what’s going to happen to her?”
Kat was at a loss, but she kept saying the same thing over and over again. “Everything’s going to be fine. Your mom is okay. You’ll be okay.”
“I want my dad.” Emma pulled her knees up until her face rested against them. “When is he coming?”
“We called him, sweetheart. He’ll be here any minute. I promise.”
Emma nodded and fell silent. Kat could only hope that meant she’d calmed down somewhat.
After what seemed like hours, Kat heard quick footsteps outside in the hallway, and then Gavin was in the doorway, his face pale and grim. “Jesus…Emma.” He saw Kat, and he nodded. “Emma, what happened?”
When Emma looked up at her dad, she promptly burst into tears again, sobs wracking her small frame. Kat rose so Gavin could hug his daughter close as she cried.
“I saw Mom die in my dream. I tried to stop thinking about it like you told me, but I couldn’t. Have you talked to her? Are you sure she’s okay? I want to call her right now.” Emma was almost babbling, and Gavin just stroked her hair.
“We can call your mom after we get you calmed down a little, okay? But she’s okay. It was just a dream. Remember when I told you that things in dreams aren’t going to come true?”
“But what if this time something happens? You don’t know something bad won’t happen.” Emma’s lip quivered. “You don’t know that for sure.”
Gavin seemed at a loss. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
Right then, the nurse finally arrived, and she seemed confused at seeing all these people in her office. “Goodness, what happened?” she asked.
“I’m taking Emma home. Where are her things?”
“I’ll go get them,” the nurse offered. “She’s in second grade, right? I’ll go and talk to Mrs. Gentry real quick.”
Kat was infinitely grateful the woman offered, as she wanted to talk to Gavin for a second. She was well aware she wasn’t a psychiatrist, but she wondered if Gavin had any idea what was wrong with Emma. During her mother’s illness, Kat had suffered from panic attacks from time to time, and she recognized the same symptoms that Emma was suffering from now. She also knew that oftentimes, people who hadn’t ever experienced panic attacks didn’t realize what they were in other people.
The nurse left, and Kat said, “Can I talk to you a second?”
Gavin rose. “We’ll just be over here,” he said to Emma as he followed Kat further into the nurse’s office.
“What is it?” His voice seemed so sad, so resigned, that Kat wanted to embrace him. She wanted to tell him things would get better, but like Emma had asked, how did she know? She didn’t know if things would get better, and she knew that this was a situation she couldn’t take care of.
“It’s just that, Emma saying she couldn’t stop thinking about her mom dying…” Kat struggled to find the words. “I used to be like that. When my mom got cancer, I’d have panic attacks, like I couldn’t breathe, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how my mom would die and leave me all alone. Sometimes I couldn’t go to school, it was so bad.” The words left her in a rush, and at Gavin’s expression, she wasn’t sure he’d caught all of it. “Emma seems to be experiencing the same thing.”
“Which is?”
“I think she’s suffering from anxiety. I mean, that’s obvious. But I mean, I think she may have some kind of anxiety disorder. Maybe even OCD.” When Gavin said nothing, Kat swallowed against a suddenly dry throat. But she’d gone this far already. “Have you taken her to someone before? To get her checked out?”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. He scowled, and she almost stepped back at the expression on his face. “You mean take her to a shrink so they can medicate her until she’s a zombie?”
Kat blinked. “That’s not what I meant, no.”
“Look, I know you mean well. You’re a good person; I know that. But Emma’s not your kid. She’s mine. And although I appreciate your input, I’m not taking her to another therapist. The last time…” He looked away, a muscle twitching in his jaw. “I’ve
