Now that the police were gone and they could both finally breathe, Gavin gave in to the fear that had been eating at him. He hugged her so hard her breath stuttered, but he just needed her close. “When you didn’t pick up your phone…” he muttered against her neck. “I was terrified, Kat. I thought something had happened to you. Even worse than some fucking squirrel.”
She laughed, but the laugh turned into a little sob. She wiped her eyes underneath her glasses.
“Also, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said what I did after what happened with Emma.”
She just sighed. “I know you had your reasons, but I hope you know I meant well. I hate seeing Emma like that. I hate seeing you like that.” She pulled away so she could look him in the eye. “You can’t keep going like this, you know.”
“Adam said the same thing.” He hesitated, but he was too tired to keep everything in anymore. Stroking her arm, he murmured, “I took Emma to see a therapist. Three, actually. After what happened with her mother. Everyone told me it was the right thing to do.”
Kat watched him with those deep brown eyes, and for some reason, he felt like he could tell her anything. He could bare his soul to her and she’d understand.
“But with each visit, she got worse. By the third one, she was hiding underneath our stairwell like a cornered animal. I just couldn’t keep doing that to her.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “How do I take her to a fourth person without something worse happening? How can I justify that to her?”
His voice was anguished, and Kat reached out to soothe him. “You were doing the best you could,” she said. “I would’ve done the same. I think anyone would have.”
“Would they? I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, things only get worse. I tried to save Teagan, but I couldn’t. Now I’m terrified that I’m losing my daughter as well.”
His throat closed and all he could do was try to calm his breathing, keep the memories at bay for now. He couldn’t tell Kat about Teagan—it was still too raw—but she didn’t press him. She just wrapped her arms around him, hugging him like he’d been hugging her earlier.
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” he admitted. “How do I fix something I can’t understand in the first place?”
She didn’t say anything for a moment. “I think you just have to keep trying. I’m not going to say you should go to another therapist, but maybe you could find someone else. Explain to them what’s happening, and maybe at some point, they can meet Emma.” She sighed. “I don’t know, Gavin. But I do know that things can’t get better without something changing.”
He knew she was right, but it didn’t help the heaviness in his heart. And then he realized that once again, he’d dumped his problems into Kat’s lap. He’d come here to help her, but inevitably, she’d ended up helping him.
But this time, she wasn’t going to be alone. He was going to take care of her and protect her from whatever this was. He wasn’t going to let her get hurt. Too many people around him had gotten hurt in the last few years; Kat Williamson wasn’t going to be added to that tally.
“Come on, get your things so we can get back to my place. I left Emma with Joy, but it’s getting late.” When she was silent, he asked, “If you’re okay with this, of course. I can ask Joy to stay with Emma and I can stay here with you—”
She shook her as she stood up. “I don’t want to stay here anyway. The thought of that squirrel in the backyard…” She shuddered. “I’m afraid its head will end up on my pillow.”
She laughed, but Gavin couldn’t. “That’s not funny.”
“I know, but I had to try. Just give me a few minutes.” Before she went to her room, though, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek like she had days prior. But this time, Gavin couldn’t help but turn his face so their lips met. He growled as they kissed, and she let out a breathy sigh. He kissed her and told her without words that she meant something to him, that she was worth taking care of. That he’d keep her safe no matter what.
“Go get packed,” he finally said in a low voice.
She nodded, looking dazed again.
He didn’t know how he’d manage to keep his hands off of her with her staying at his place. He told himself he could do it if he tried, but who was he fooling? The thought of her sleeping in his bed—he’d sleep on the couch, of course—padding around his apartment like a lover would do? Seeing her come out of the bathroom after she’d showered, all wet and warm and glistening? He had to stifle a groan at the thought, and then he chastised himself for thinking dirty thoughts in a situation like this.
She isn’t coming over so you can get laid, he told himself sternly.
After explaining to Joy and Adam what had happened as briefly as he could, Gavin showed Kat to his room. “I just washed the sheets, so you’re in luck there.”
“Well, thank you, all the same.” She flashed him a small smile. “Are you sure, though? I can sleep on the couch just fine.”
“No way,” he growled. “You’ll sleep in my bed, Kat.”
Her eyes widened at his words, and he cursed himself. Had he really said that? He turned away, thinking he should probably give her space. “There are clean towels in the bathroom. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Okay.”
As Gavin lay
