He made a face, like he was uncomfortable. “I owe you. For helping Emma, for helping me. I care about you, Kat.”
The words hung in the room. She swallowed against a suddenly dry throat. “I care about you, too,” she murmured.
He shifted, moving closer toward her. She expected him to reach out and touch her, but he didn’t. “Sometimes I’m not convinced you’re real.”
“Me? What do you mean?”
“Just that, even after everything that’s happened, you’re still so together. I would’ve expected any person to have kind of lost it by now.”
Kat shrugged. “I’m not the type of person to weep and moan, if that’s what you mean. What good will it do? You just have to keep moving forward. I’ve known that since I was a kid.”
She knew it all too well, that breaking down wasn’t something she had the means to do. She had to pick up the pieces, keep going. Brush the tears off of her cheeks and continue on.
He sighed. “I get that. There were days the past few years…” He stared at the steaming mug that he’d set on the coffee table, as if he could divine the secrets of humanity from its depths. “Some days Teagan would be so sick that I didn’t know if she’d come out of it.”
Kat saw how his shoulders were hunched, how he grimaced from the memories. “My mom died of breast cancer when I was fifteen,” she said quietly. She hadn’t planned on telling him that, but the words just spilled out. “It was just her and me for most of my life. My dad left when I was just a baby. We moved around a lot, but we were each other’s constant. But when she got sick, I had to be the parent. I don’t know how I managed to graduate from high school in the end, I missed so many days.”
“I’m sorry, Kat.”
She brushed away the tears that had sprung to her eyes. When had she become such a watering pot? “Thank you. She died a year after her diagnosis, and I went to live with my aunt and uncle. But I was determined to get out of there, so I graduated high school early and never looked back.”
The pain of losing her mom had only lessened slightly in the subsequent years. Some days it was a faint ache, while other days it was acute. Tonight, Kat wished her mom were here to hug her, to tell her everything would be okay. We’ll be okay, babe, she’d say. Because you and me can do anything together.
“Teagan wasn’t always sick,” Gavin said. “When we first dated, she was the girl who everyone wanted. Or wanted to be.”
Kat couldn’t help but smile. “And you had no idea why she’d date you?”
“Exactly. We married after college, but after Emma was born, things changed.” He took in a deep breath. “She’d have these days where she wouldn’t sleep—for days and days—and she’d be so happy and excited and she’d redecorate the entire house or something like that. But then she’d crash and burn, and become so depressed that she wouldn’t get out of bed. By the time Emma was a toddler, I was the only one taking care of her.” His hands balled into fists, “It got to the point that I was scared to leave Emma alone with her. Not because she’d hurt her, but because she might hurt herself.”
“Was she ever diagnosed?”
“With bipolar. She went on medication, was good for a while, but she was never good about taking the medication. She’d relapse and it was a cycle. I tried to get her take her meds, get her to therapy, all of it. We’d get into these fights, and sometimes I got so angry that I had to leave the house.”
He looked so alone that Kat set her mug down on the table and looped an arm under his. “Sounds like we’ve both had our fair share of shit.”
He laughed a little. “To say the least.” He inhaled and turned his gaze toward her. “I didn’t mean to unload on you.”
“And I didn’t mean to unload on you, but here we are.” The words drifted off into the space between them, and Kat couldn’t look away from his penetrating gaze. His dark eyes caused her to shiver. He reached up and touched her cheek with a gentle caress.
“Do you wear this every night?” He touched the silk scarf she’d wrapped around her hair.
She’d forgotten she was wearing it. Suddenly self-conscious, she explained, “It protects my hair. Otherwise it’ll break off and be a mess.”
“Mmm, I do love your hair. Do you do it yourself?”
“For the most part. Sometimes I have help. It’s hard to braid your own hair.”
In a deadpan voice, he replied, “Considering I can barely braid Emma’s, I understand completely.”
She patted him on the chest. “It’s okay. It takes practice. Although sometimes when I see Emma’s hair, I have to restrain myself from redoing it.”
“You’re too kind,” he said with a snort. “It’s one of those things I’m working on. Because God knows Emma doesn’t have anyone else around who’s going to braid her hair.”
Kat’s heart clenched. She recognized that well of loneliness within him that she’d known for so many years. It was a strange thing, she knew, to bond over. But that kinship only intensified her attraction to him, and without thinking about it, she touched his shaggy hair, smoothed a finger across his eyebrows.
“Kat.” His voice was barely more than a growl.
“Do you want me to stop?”
He didn’t even hesitate. “Hell no. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t want to.”
She didn’t know who kissed who, but their mouths met and it was like all the heat of the room exploded between them. Gavin snaked an arm around her waist while she pressed her hands against his hard chest, and the kiss deepened. His tongue met hers, and her entire body unfurled like a flower toward the sun. Yes,
