I thought about Monica again, and how I was going to try to make things better for her. I disagreed with my dad's manipulative way of getting Monica to drop charges. Necessary, but it wasn't the only way out. It would do Hans some good to be tried in the courts, but as usual, dad had turned a blind eye and preferred to sweep it under the carpet. Ship Hans away - out of sight, out of mind.
And as for me - I broke down. Thrashed my bedroom when I had heard what happened, out of shock, and perhaps out of guilt - I had ignored Ella's calls the first time she shouted for me at the party, and the second time too, preferring to enjoy the nameless blonde who had come sidling up to my side. Had taken my time before deciding to find out what she was screaming my name for, and then –
Nausea rose to my throat when I discovered what Hans was capable of. What we were capable of. Sure, it had crossed my mind once or twice before, nothing more than a fleeting thought, but to actually go through with it? Had it come to this?
I revved the engine of the car, and pulled out of the almost-empty parking lot, leaving the school behind. I wondered how Ella was going to get home after classes today, and then wondered why I cared. The plan had worked, too well in fact, and she and her mother were soon going to go back to wherever they came from. Which was the best thing for them, to be away from us monsters, even though it wouldn’t change anything for us. Not one thing.
***
Ella
Jules was wrong. Hans didn’t return the next day, or even that week. and I couldn’t help the sheer relief I felt when Marcus confirmed this, although inadvertently. We were sitting at dinner, just mom, Marcus and me, pretending everything was normal. As if Hans was on holiday, and not in rehab. As if Cole had merely declined to join us just this time, even though none of us had actually seen him in almost a week. As if I hadn't heard their arguments - sometimes, well into the night, so that I, too, had trouble falling asleep and getting up the next day.
"Your mom and I will be away next week," Marcus said as he sliced into the delicious roast beef Susan had prepared.
"Oh? Where to?" My mind started racing with what this meant. Maybe I was wrong after all? Maybe they were still going ahead with wedding preparations? Please say you won't be leaving me for too long. The idea of being home alone with both Cole and Hans - who was supposed to have returned two days ago, according to Jules - was enough to make me consider asking Sarah for her spare bedroom.
"Toronto. I have some business there, and your mom will be accompanying me." My mom merely smiled weakly.
"And will you be gone the entire week?"
"Yes. Hopefully we will be back by Sunday."
Sunday. That meant seven days with Cole, at the very least. My worry must have shown on my face, because Marcus followed up with, "We will be dropping by to see Hans on our way back."
I nodded, quietly finishing up what was left of my meat and potatoes, suddenly not hungry at all. I hated that we were tiptoeing around the topic - even asking my mother felt wrong, because of how permanently worried she looked lately. She had also lost some weight - her usually youthful face now appearing more withdrawn, the pinks all gone, and dark shadows now circling her eyes.
I wanted to ask her, but thought she would tell me first if she needed me to know, or if she needed someone to talk to. We had always had that sort of relationship with each other, but lately, she had been more distant. Was this what it was going to be like once - if - they married?
Afterwards, I decided I needed some time alone, but I wasn't ready to go back to my room, where I had spent too much time cooped up, studying for the exams. Thankfully those were over. I wandered around the house, remembering the tour Hans had given me. That Hans was all smiles and charm. I felt sad, but pushed the thought away. Marcus had thought it best for him to be separated from Cole and everyone whilst he was receiving his treatment, and he knew his son best.
I found myself in the basement, where the theatre room and the indoor pool were. I rarely ventured to this side of the house, not being a fan of being alone in strange places. Now, I admired the vast space and the money it must have taken to create such an open space, underground. The door to the movie room was locked, and I wondered if anyone was in it. I had been in there once before, and didn't plan on hanging out there again. The pool, however, was a place I found enticing. It was shaped in the form of a giant tear drop, and Hans had told me if I wasn’t much of a swimmer, it would be better to bring someone with me, because of how deep it was. But it was the Jacuzzi in the corner that I now focused on, and wondered if I dared use. I had never been in one before, and wondered what the various knobs did.
Just as I decided I didn't dare stay there alone, a sound of water splashing jolted me. I turned quickly, to find Cole emerging from the farther end of the pool, an image of golden skin and sinewy strength. Not fair. He was beautiful in all the ways that counted. I forced myself to keep my eyes on his face, ignoring his bare chest as he
