Doing as I demanded, her gaze found my arm. “I am nothing more than a used up street whore who’s been addicted to dope since she had a needle forcibly jabbed into her arm six years ago!”
Vomit rose into my throat at the confession.
Becoming and staying what I was…
None of it had been my choice.
I’d tried to quit and get clean more than once, but doing so was impossible when I lived in a trap house under the thumb of El Diablo, my sadistic pimp who tossed a drug-filled baggie my way each time he saw me showing signs of being dope sick.
The cabrón knew my body would cave.
Even when my brain screamed no.
Tears filled Jade’s eyes. “So what, you were just going to leave us?”
I stopped breathing as the hideousness of what my spur-of-the-moment weakness could’ve done to her and Ashley slammed into me.
How could I?
“Do you have any idea what that would do to Ashley and me?” she shrieked, her words echoing my thoughts. “To lose you, the only family we have?”
Clutching her sides, she hugged herself tight. “And did you not stop to think about what El Diablo would do to us—me especially—once you’re not here to protect us anymore?”
Her words stung.
Horribly so.
“You’re right,” I said, my self-hatred multiplying. “It was wrong of me to try to leave you.”
It had been. How could I have been so selfish? Both girls needed me more than I needed death.
From now on, I will not falter.
For them, I will hold on.
Regaining some of my fight, I forced myself to my wobbly knees, then to my unsteady feet. Filled with disgust, I cupped Jade’s beautiful face and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
It wasn’t a mentira.
It was only the truth.
No matter how much I hurt, causing my girls more damage than they’d already been dealt wasn’t an option. I wouldn’t—couldn’t—do that to them.
Ashley especially.
She and Jade had been thrust headfirst into hell the moment they fell into El Diablo’s cunning arms, but Chiquita had received the worst of his brutal treatment.
Uniquely beautiful inside and out, she’d become Dominic’s dirty little obsession, along with his highest-paid whore the moment he gained control of her.
Both were titles that had left her broken, but neither had caused her as much pain as having to give up her newborn daughter for adoption had.
Recalling the number of days that had passed since I’d helped deliver her beautiful bebé on the bathroom floor was an impossible task, but each night since Chiquita had lied in El Diablo’s bed, her face buried in a stained pillow as she sobbed for the baby she’d once carried in her belly.
It shattered me to see.
Dropping my hands, I took a step back and lifted my coat off a busted chair where it hung.
“El Diablo is gone on a drug run, but his men are on guard both downstairs and outside, so I want you to stay in this room until I get back.”
Plastering on a false face, one where I appeared brave and strong instead of terrified and weak, I glanced from one girl to the next, shooting them a look that meant business.
“I mean it, Chiquita,” I said, speaking to Ashley, who was the most level-headed of the two. “You two do not attempt to leave. Understand?”
“I can’t stay,” Jade argued. “If I don’t make enough money to give El Diablo come morning—”
“I have this,” I interrupted, patting my chest. “Trust me.”
“But—”
“No buts, Jade,” I snapped. “You’re not working tonight.” I met Ashley’s unsure eyes once more. “You’re not either.” If I had my way, one day soon, neither of them would ever step foot on the street or into a client’s hotel room again. “I’ll bring back enough cash to cover your payments to El Diablo.” Jade’s stomach chose that moment to growl, and I quickly added, “Food too.”
Beyond exhausted, I moved to the open bedroom door and leaned against the frame. Slipping a shaking hand into my pocket, I grazed the dope-filled baggie I’d placed there hours earlier with my fingertips.
The move brought me comfort.
But also mortification.
Comfort, because with one hit, I could erase the hurt plaguing my soul, if only temporarily. Mortification because I was a junkie who couldn’t cope with the life she’d been handed.
I’d almost killed myself. I was fragile when I needed to be mighty as steel. My family would’ve been sickened to see how I’d turned out.
Pushing the carousel of gut-wrenching thoughts careening through my head away, I ran my shaking hands through my hair, tugging on each knot I encountered.
Beads of sweat coated nearly every inch of my skin as I looked at my girls, taking in each of their pretty, pain-stricken features.
For them, I would be strong and survive.
Without me, neither Ashley nor Jade stood a chance. I couldn’t be selfish when they were counting on me to keep them breathing. I had no idea how I would do it, but I would pull my shit together.
If I didn’t, death would come for me, and then it would come for my girls, an outcome I wasn’t willing to entertain.
No one would die because of me.
Not ever again.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.
It’s time to get clean.
Time to get out.
Time to fucking fight.
Eyes fluttering back open, I lifted my hand to my dry lips and blew my beautiful girls both a kiss. Jade first, then Ashley. “I love you two,” I whispered, wrapping my shaking arms around my concave belly. “With every broken piece of me.”
I awaited no reply.
Determined to do whatever I needed to in order to save myself, along with the two girls who’d become my family when I no longer had one, I slipped away and headed outside to where the darkness of the night greeted me.
Then, I went on the hunt.
Three
James
I was standing by the register, more than ready to be done checking out, when I first saw her.
Long, tawny-colored hair.
Dark, coal-rimmed eyes.
Full, bow-shaped lips; the top one busted.
My skin prickled at the sight.
I didn’t know her, the striking woman
