Six
James
“Fire-tuck!”
I was sitting behind my desk at the station when a toddler-sized voice echoed through the halls, bouncing off each of the white walls. Upon hearing it, I froze, gripping the pen I held tight.
“Fire-tuck! U-ka climb fire-tuck!”
“We’ll ask Pop,” a second voice, one which made my heart clench, said, referring to me. “I’m sure he’ll let you climb in the firetruck, Little Man.”
Getting a grip, though it was tenuous, on the emotions swirling in my chest, I stood and made my way out of my office.
But that same grip disappeared the second I moved through the open door that led from the inside of the station to the bays.
Because standing there, next to the main ladder truck, was my daughter, and next to her was my grandson.
“Shelby,” I said, my brown eyes meeting her cornflower blue ones. “You’re here.” My gaze moved to the wide-eyed toddler next to her. “And you brought Lucca.”
I sounded like such an idiot I half expected her to ask if I’d been drinking. But she didn’t. Instead, forehead wrinkling, she smiled. “Did Hendrix not tell you we were coming by?”
She rolled her eyes.
“I’m sure he didn’t, the big dummy. I swear if his big ol’ head wasn’t attached to his shoulders, he’d lose the dang thing.”
One side of my mouth quirked. “Probably.”
Looking around the bay, she rocked back on her cowgirl-booted heels. “Is he here? I need to talk to him about a gift for Maddie and the baby while she’s not around.”
My heart squeezed a second time.
Maddie and Shelby had become friends two years before when they first met. But because of my bullshit fears and secrets, Shelby had no idea she was Hendrix’s sister, and therefore Maddie’s future sister-in-law.
My son and Maddie were clueless too.
And it was all my fault.
I’d had countless chances to tell all three the truth, but electing to keep my mouth shut, I hadn’t said a word.
Swear to Christ, if I ever saw my ex-wife again, she and I would have words. Not only had she walked out on Hendrix and me without a backward glance, but she’d also never told me I had a daughter.
And knowing her crazy ass, I was certain Shelby hadn’t lived an easy life, much like her brother.
It was just another nail in my coffin.
I had two kids, and I’d failed them both.
It was unforgivable.
Unable to meet my little girl’s stare, I nodded toward the door I’d just come through. “He’s in the kitchen with Tuck. Two of the guys just cooked, so they’re all in there eating.”
Taking Lucca’s hand in hers, she chuckled. “Good, I’ll go steal his food and really piss him off then.”
She winked and headed for the door.
“Shelby, wait,” I called after her, sliding my hands into my pockets. Looking at me over her shoulder, she stopped moving.
“Why don’t you leave Lucca with me?” I asked. “I’ll let him climb in the truck like he wanted and show him around.”
Apprehension spread across her face.
Rightfully so.
She knew about my past and the horrid shit I’d done to my boy. Eleven years may have passed since I’d last laid a hand on him, and over seven since I’d last had a drink, but she still didn’t trust me.
I didn’t blame her.
If the shoe had been on the other foot, I wouldn’t have trusted me either.
“There’s a security monitor in the kitchen,” I said, hoping to convince her to let me spend some time with my grandson. “You’ll be able to see us the entire time.”
Nodding apprehensively, my girl looked down at her boy and squatted, bringing them face to face. “Little Man, do you want to stay out here and play with Pop for a little while?”
Twinkling brown eyes bright as could be, Lucca jumped up and down, arms in the air. “Yeah! U-ka pay Pop-Pop!”
Pop-Pop.
His words hit me hard.
Reeling, I wanted nothing more than to pull both of them into my arms as the urge to tell her the truth grew with each of my breaths.
The problem was, I couldn’t do it yet.
I needed more time.
Bullshit, the voice in my head screamed.
You’re just scared.
The voice was right. I was scared. No, more like terrified. I’d just found Shelby and Lucca both. If she walked away after finding out the truth, taking him with her, it would kill me.
Of that, I was positive.
And why wouldn’t she walk away? In her eyes, I would be nothing more than a monster who’d abused her big brother. Though she tolerated me on account of Maddie, there was no doubt in my mind that she’d hate me once she realized it was her own flesh and blood that I’d hurt.
Then I’d lose her and Lucca.
For good.
“Pop.” My girl stood, capturing my attention once more. “You alright, sugar? You’re looking a little green around the gills.”
Swallowing down the fear and trepidation swelling in my throat, I forced a nod. “I’m fine. Just been a long day.”
She didn’t look convinced.
But it didn’t matter, because a second later Lucca rushed me, his arms stretched out wide. “Pop-Pop, pick U-ka up! Climb da fire-tuck!”
Without hesitating, I scooped him up.
“Go see Hendrix, Shelby,” I whispered, contentment washing through me as I held my grandson in my arms. “And make sure you give Tuck hell while you’re in there,” I joked. “He deserves it after all the grief he gives me.”
Ever since finding me in front of the drugstore the night Carmen pickpocketed me, he’d been telling anyone that would listen about how I was losing my mind.
The little shit.
I may have been losing what sanity I still possessed thanks to him and my son’s troublemaking selves, but I didn’t hallucinate that night about having a pretty little pixie rob me like he’d thought.
I admit I had issues, but I wasn’t that crazy.
Then again, maybe I was, considering I hadn’t been able to get Carmen out of my mind since. Her beautiful face, the sound of her voice, and the guarded secrets she carried—they all
