Her words brought it all rushing back.
The alcohol.
The gambling.
The abuse.
“How?” I hadn’t meant to speak the one-word question aloud, but there was no taking it back once I had.
Lips thinned, Maddie tilted her head to the side. “How what?”
I swallowed as the anger that I felt each time I thought of the pain James had inflicted in the past crashed into me, once again flared to life.
Intoxicated by the undeniable connection that existed between him and me, I’d pushed it to the back of my mind earlier, hiding it in the same darkness where my demons lurked. But with his warmth no longer caressing mine, my animosity returned full force.
“How can Hendrix forgive him?”
If I’d had the ability to shout the question, I would’ve. Alas, with my throat still raw and dry, the words came out strained, nearly incoherent.
“James beat him, harmed him in ways that no parent should ever harm their child. How can he stand to be near his father? I had no part in it, but I still want to cut el hombre’s huevos off each time I think of the horrid things he—”
“He told you?”
My mouth snapped shut. “Si,” I answered, nodding. “He did.”
An eye-crinkling smile tipped the corner of her lips. “Interesting.” Eyes shining brightly, she tucked a strand of chestnut-brown hair behind her pierced ear. “Guess we should have this conversation now then, rather than later.”
I was unsure of what she meant by that.
But I would soon find out.
“Pop hasn’t always been a good guy,” she said, echoing James’s words from earlier. “And like you, I want to cut his junk off every time I think about what he did to Hendrix as a kid…” She blew out a harsh breath. “But I’m trying my hardest to get past it.”
I didn’t understand that. At all. Some things could be forgiven. Others, not so much. “How can you get past that?” I asked, dumbfounded. “He hurt him.”
“Yeah, he did,” she agreed, crossing her arms over her tiny belly, where her unborn child grew. “For years he abused my guy before nearly getting him killed thanks to a gambling debt he owed the wrong type of people, but—”
“A gambling debt?” I’d known he’d been a gambler, but I knew nothing of him almost getting Hendrix killed. Learning such a vile truth soured the kiss we’d shared minutes before.
I wanted to vomit.
How. Could. He!
Maddie gnawed on her bottom lip. “Yeah, a gambling debt. Guess he didn’t tell you that part.”
“No,” I replied, fisted hand twitching with the urge to knock James into next week. “He left that part out.” I shook my head out of both frustration and anger. “So he got indebted to the wrong people?” Another nod from Maddie. “What kind of wrong?”
Eyes brimming with tears, she swallowed. “The kind that will kill your family without hesitation if they aren’t paid what they’re owed.”
Sounds like El Diablo…
Covering my shaking hand with her steady one, Maddie gave it a slight squeeze. “But he had a hand in fixing it,” she said, a lone tear sliding down her cheek. “I don’t know how, and I doubt I ever will, but from what Handsome learned after they reconnected, it’s clear that he risked his life to make it all go away.”
She pulled in a shaky breath. “Even so, by the time Pop put a stop to it, it was already too late to mend things between him and Hendrix.” More tears fell. “My guy had already severed contact and walked away for what they both thought was forever.”
I wasn’t given the chance to ask her what she meant. Before I could blink, Hendrix crossed the room and dropped to his knees in front of Maddie, his expression one of alarm. Taking her chin in his hand, he turned her face to meet his.
“Pretty girl, what’s wrong?” The panic in his voice shouldn’t have made me smile, but it did. The love he had for her was massive. That much was clear. “Maddie, baby, talk—”
“I’m fine,” she said, gently curling her fingers around his muscular forearm. “We were just talking about Pop’s past, and I got all emotional. That’s all. No need to get your silky briefs in a twist or fly into mother hen mode.”
Despite the acidic disdain churning in my belly, the way she teased him made my smile grow, easing the mixture of hurt and confusion that weighed heavily on my battle-scarred heart.
“Yeah?” Hendrix’s eyes crashed into mine. “And what exactly about his past were you discussing?”
“Handsome,” Maddie started in an effort to capture her beloved’s attention once more. “Why don’t we—”
“How can you forgive him?” I interjected, cutting her off as tears of my own welled uncontrollably. Needing to hear his answer more than I needed to breathe, I held his stare, refusing to look away. “Make me understand.” The command fell from my lips without pause or second thought. “Please.”
Across the room, James’s eyes narrowed as he tried to make out the words I’d whispered in not-so-subtle desperation.
Unspeaking, Hendrix studied my face, searching my expression for something, but what exactly that something was, I didn’t know. “You’ve got feelings for my old man, don’t you?”
My mouth ran dry at his question.
Did I have feelings for James? Si, I did. Inexplicable ones. But those same feelings vacillated quickly from endearment and borderline obsession to disgust and anger.
“I do, though I understand little as to why,” I stated truthfully, even though I didn’t understand why I felt the things I did. “But after learning of the vile things he did to you, I’m not sure I should feel anything but disgust and hate where he’s concerned.”
Hendrix’s face twisted. Eyes darkening before mine, his jaw clenched, then released. “You shouldn’t feel any of that shit toward him,” he practically snarled, tone sharp and cutting.
My mouth opened and closed as I floundered for something to say. His hostility toward the statement I’d made took me
