“What he did,” he interrupted, face softening the slightest bit. “There’s no denying that it was bad. Read bad. But it’s in the past—his and mine—and I don’t know about anybody else, but that’s a place I don’t want to dwell anymore.”
A boulder formed in my throat.
I wanted to neither live in the past nor present. I only wanted to exist in the future, a place where I hoped mi chicas and I would be safe. Cheeks reddening in what I presumed was anger, Hendrix twined Maddie’s fingers with his, holding her hand tight.
“Look, I get it. It’s easy to hate the man he once was. Hell, I’d be lying through my teeth if I said I didn’t. But here’s the thing—that man… the abusive, drunken bastard I used to hope would get run over by a semi every time he left the house? That asshole is long gone. And he ain’t ever coming back either. Guarantee it.”
He sounded so confident.
But me? I wasn’t.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because Pop knows what he’ll lose if he chooses to walk that path again.” He placed his hand on Maddie’s small baby bump. “And trust me, that’s a risk he won’t take. Not now and not in the future.”
He gave me no chance to speak.
“I care about my old man,” he continued. “I know a lot of people don’t understand how or why, and I can’t explain it myself. Maybe it’s fucked up to feel the way I do on account of the past we share, but I don’t give a rat’s ass. I feel how I feel. End of story.”
“But he hurt y-you.” A stuttering mess once more, my words were barely intelligible. “Almost got you killed.”
Hendrix nodded. “He did, but he’s also taken responsibility for every scar he ever caused, all the while trying to repair everything he screwed up. That might not mean much to some people, but to me, it means a fuck of a lot.”
His jaw clenched again.
“And I mean no disrespect to you or anyone else when I say this, but as far as I’m concerned, everyone, you included, needs to get off his ass about stuff that is done, over with, and in the process of being forgiven by the one person who suffered at his hands. Me.”
I flinched at his words.
James had made mistakes, si, but as Hendrix said, he was trying to right each of his wrongs. I had no right or room to judge him, especially considering the many titles carved into my skin—junkie, whore, thief. I needed to cease being such a judgmental puta.
For good.
“There’s something else I need to say.” Hendrix nodded back at James, who still stood across the room, his massive arms crossed over his broad chest. “You see that big bastard back there?”
I nodded. “He’s a bit hard to miss.”
Maddie giggled. “Right?”
Hendrix looked at her briefly, smiling at the sweet sound that had spilled from her lips. My pained heart nearly melted when he winked at her.
Talk about being in love…
“Truth is, he isn’t an easy man at times. Far from it actually,” Hendrix said, his attention focused solely on me once more. “But after twenty-five years, he’s finally become the father I spent my entire childhood wanting, and I’m not about to give that up just because we’ve got a whole lotta shit to work through.”
Face dipping toward the floor, he paused and pulled in a deep breath before lifting his chin once more. “I’ll never forget what he did to me, and it’ll definitely take me a long while to fully trust him, but I’m done going backward. From here on out, it’s only forward for me.” He looked at Maddie. “For us.”
I bit my bottom lip. “I don’t know if—”
“Let the animosity go, Robina Hood,” he interrupted, calling me by the nickname Faye had given me years before, making me believe he didn’t know my real one even though his father did.
It was a relief.
“My pop has suffered long enough. It’s time for his pain to end too.” Waggling his eyebrows, Hendrix smiled, big and bright. “And who knows, maybe you’re the start of his happily ever after.”
I swung my gaze to James. “He says that I’m his salvation,” I whispered, half expecting both Hendrix and Maddie to roll their eyes and balk. Neither did. Much to my surprise. “I think he may be insano.”
My attempt at humor fell flat as Hendrix stood and slid his hands into his pockets. “He’s not insane. But if you can save him from his demons, then do it. And in return, let him save you from yours.”
I didn’t reply to him.
My warring emotions made it impossible.
So, instead, I faced Maddie.
“Tell me more about the shelter…” Fighting to calm my frazzled nerves, I clenched my hands tight and did my best to pivot the conversation. “Along with exactly how you can help me.”
Though my heart desperately wanted to, I refused to tell her that I wasn’t alone in the terrible situation I found myself in, just as I refused to speak my real name. Withholding such details was a rotten move to make considering she only wanted to help, but given the dangerous circumstances, the fewer details I revealed about mi chicas and me, the better.
If El Diablo finds out what I’m doing…
Shuddering in fear, I sealed my lips, refusing to speak further. Then, with bated breath, I waited for Maddie to speak and possibly give me something I hadn’t possessed in a long time.
Hope.
Sixteen
Carmen
Like a weeping widow, I couldn’t stop crying.
A little over twenty minutes had passed since Hendrix and Maddie left, and I’d spent every minute since in the bathroom, hiding from James’s incessant gaze as I attempted to process everything Maddie had said after my eye-opening conversation with Hendrix, along with the life-altering offer she’d made.
But I couldn’t think.
Swimming in a breath-stealing combination of fear and apprehension, my shaken brain was short-circuiting each time I tried to form a coherent thought.
It pissed me off.
“Jesucristo, Carmen,” I mumbled to myself, rocking back and forth
