I didn’t use my words to answer her.
Instead, I did what she wanted.
I kissed the fuck out of her.
The fiery flames of hell.
I could’ve sworn that’s where I was as I stood next to Carmen in a downtown alley, cloaked by the shadows the adjacent buildings created. Moments away from having to say goodbye, my palpitating heart was jammed high into my throat, making it hard to speak or breathe.
“I don’t want you to go,” I said. “Not when I know you’re going right back to him.”
My pretty little pixie smiled, but it was forced and didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ve been gone long enough. I need to find mi chicas, make sure they’re okay. Besides, you’ll see me again.” She glanced down the alley. First left, then right. “Until then, I’ll be fine. I swear it.”
It was a lie.
She wouldn’t be fine.
Even if she was lucky enough not to get beaten while fighting to stay clean, every second she spent trapped under her pimp’s control, she had things ripped from her that no person should ever be forced to live without.
Safety. Stability.
Pride. Humanity. Peace.
He’d robbed all of it from her.
But one day soon, I’d give it all back.
“Tell me when I’ll see you again,” I said, needing an answer to the unanswered question I’d asked her minutes before in the truck. “I’m not letting you leave until you do.”
Head tilted to the side, she rocked from side to side. “I don’t know.” Yeah, that answer wasn’t going to work for me. “I have to wait for mi chicas to be sent out on simultaneous dates before I can sneak away.” Her sadness returned, piercing my aching chest. “That’s if I don’t find a way for us to escape before such a twisted moment arises.”
Escape.
It was always on my mind.
I wanted her and the girls away from the motherfucker intent on keeping them for his sick and twisted purposes as soon as possible. With a standing offer from Maddie to hide Carmen and anyone else who needed her help, it should’ve been easy.
But it wasn’t.
According to Carmen, the pimp didn’t care what she did as long as she checked in and paid him his nightly dues. It was the same for Little One. But Chiquita? She couldn’t leave without him okaying it.
So we had to wait for him to slip up.
And that wait? It would probably kill me.
“Where do you want to go after you come find me?” I needed to focus. Close to losing the ability to keep myself in check, the threat of spiraling headfirst into the bottomless rage that swirled in my chest loomed. “I need to plan, and I—”
“The motel?” Rocking back on her heels, she held the cash I’d given her tight. “If we do that and one of the bastardo’s lackeys sees me, it won’t arouse too much suspicion.” She hesitated. “But I get it if you don’t want to take the risk of being seen going into the same room as me.”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass who sees me,” I snarled, eyes narrowing. “I am not ashamed of being with you, so get that out of your head.”
Her self-esteem was non-existent.
We had to fix that.
The sooner, the better.
“Being with me?” The sassy head tilt was back. “What does that mean?”
It means I’m claiming you as mine…
The words flitted through my racing mind, but I didn’t speak them aloud. I’d laid enough heavy stuff on her already. She’d have to wait for more.
“It means—”
“Carmen!”
My back teeth crashed together, ending my ability to speak. Snapping my head to the right, I spotted Little One and Faye standing at the far end of the alley.
Both wore matching smiles.
“Hold on, Little One!” Carmen shouted back, her body practically vibrating with the need to run to her. “I’ll be right there, bebé!”
When her sparkling eyes found mine again, I knew our time was up. One of her girls, along with the woman I was fairly sure she considered her best friend, needed her. And when it came down to them versus me, they would always win.
Rightfully so.
“I don’t know how many days will pass between now and then, but the first chance I get, a clean and sober me will come and find you,” she assured me, cheeks flushed. “Watch for me in the alley.”
“Carmen—”
“I promised myself, James,” she interrupted, reading my worried face. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t get high anymore, and I’m promising you the same.”
“I believe you.” Her eyes slid closed as I traced an invisible line along her jawline and down the side of her throat. Stopping above the place where her skin fluttered in time with her quickening pulse, I whispered, “Now look at me.”
She did as I asked.
“Take care of yourself for me, yeah?”
Visibly swallowing, she nodded. “I’m going to try my best.” Pushing to her tiptoes, she arched her back and planted a sweet kiss on my cheek. “Same as always.”
Turning to the side before I could taste her lips one last time, she took off running, her worn heels clacking against the pavement as she went, meeting Little One halfway. Bodies slamming into one another, they hugged each other tightly.
How they could breathe was beyond me.
“Thanks, handsome!” Faye shouted, waving as she grinned from ear-to-ear. “I’ll take care of em’!”
Of that, I had zero doubt.
Loosening her hold on Little One, Carmen glanced back at me over her shoulder. Face streaked with tears, she smiled before lifting her hand and blowing me a quick kiss.
Catching it midair, I held it to my chest.
It was the last thing I did before she faced Little One again and took her hand in hers. Fingers intertwined, they headed for Faye.
Once they reached her, they all turned and walked away, taking a chunk of my broken heart with them.
Twenty
Carmen
Days later, I woke to familiar whimpers.
I knew who they belonged to immediately.
Jerking upright
