“Please stay.” She looked at me with wide, pleading eyes. “Don’t go.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I promised, gently pulling my arm away. I went into the living room and picked up our clothes, brought them into her room, and closed the door. I slipped into her bed and held her close as we both fell asleep, exhausted from the day.
Chapter 13
-Anna-
I woke up languid and pleasantly sore, but also way too hot. No wonder—Ian was plastered against my back, his arm tucked protectively around me, hand cupping my breast. I sleepily stretched, pausing when I felt his erection pulsing against my ass.
“Oh god.” I sat up and rubbed my face with my hands. My hair was wet and my eyes were puffy…and my inner thighs were still slick.
I’d asked him not to pull out. What the fuck was I thinking?
Ian stirred but didn’t wake up. He must’ve been just as exhausted and wrung out from the day as I was.
I slipped out of bed and pulled the towel around me, then creeped to the bathroom to relieve and cleanse myself. I did not want to get pregnant. Not with Ian’s child, not ever.
No matter that he had completely and utterly blown my mind with his lovemaking...twice. In a row. Way more than anyone else had ever done.
I didn’t want a family.
I tiptoed back into my room and stood next to the bed, watching Ian sleep. His breathing was even and blessedly quiet, unlike Asher, who was a prolific snorer. I could never sleep when he was around.
With his eyes closed, Ian looked so young and innocent, and not like a total sex demon. Without me in the bed, he’d curled up around a pillow, one well-muscled leg thrown out over the covers. I sat down on the bed next to him and stroked his hair until he opened his eyes.
“Hey,” I said, smiling slightly at him.
“Hey,” he replied, smiling back. He sat up and glanced around the room, then dry-cleared his throat. “Is there water somewhere?”
I grabbed my water bottle from my purse, glad that I had filled it up at the gym. He took a long drink, then handed the bottle back to me. I drank deeply too, surprised at my own thirst, then capped the bottle and put it away.
Ian held his hand out to me and I took it, allowing him to pull me back into bed. He wrapped his arms around me and I placed my head on his chest, quietly listening to his heartbeat.
“Do you...want to talk about it at all?” he quietly asked.
I was silent for a few moments. Then I giggled. “Sorry if I scared you. I think I just had a lot of...pent-up something.” I wasn’t sure if my tears were from relief, frustration, sadness, or satisfaction. Possibly a bit of all of the above. But I didn’t want to try to psychoanalyze myself, to him or to me. Ian and I hardly knew each other, and I didn’t want to scare him away. I wasn’t exactly sure if I wanted him to stay, either, but I wanted to have the option, at least.
He interlaced his fingers with mine, rubbing his thumb along the outside of my hand. “Is there anything you need? Anything I can do for you?” He kissed my hair and I snuggled closer, wrapping my leg around his hips. What I felt against my thigh confirmed what I had already suspected as soon as I’d woken up: he was ready for round 3. I was too, but I needed something else, first.
“Get me some Plan B? And some condoms?” No earth-shattering orgasm was worth getting pregnant for.
“Of course.” Ian got out of bed and quickly got dressed. He kissed my forehead on the way out the door and said he’d be back in a few.
I shut the door behind him, then went back to my bed and curled up under the blanket, still warm from his body heat.
Through the window, I watched the dark sky brighten from the occasional flash of lightning, followed soon after by a low rumble of thunder. The tree branches rattled against the glass as the wind howled through a tiny crack in the frame. I curled further into the blankets, covered my head and burrowed deep...and sighed.
What was I doing?
Ian was undeniably sweet. Charming. Fun to hang out with. An amazing lover. I hadn’t felt so happy and at ease with someone in a long time.
But there was no way that it could work out between us long-term.
Firstly, I definitely didn’t want to deal with his undoubtedly fobby (i.e., judgmental, traditional, fake, etc.) family. It sounded trite, but there was too much trauma from my own dysfunctional family to allow me to deal with someone else’s. It was still too much to even think about right then.
Secondly, we’d soon (fingers crossed) be coworkers. I wasn’t sure what the workplace policy was around dating, but I knew at least that if we broke up, it would be unbearably awkward, even more awkward than it already was...and I really needed this job.
Thirdly...he was too dependable, someone who seemed like he would always be there for me. That was dangerous. I didn’t want to be dependent on yet another guy. I was working on getting a new job, and after that, I was going to make it on my own. I’d been trying to make it on my own for months, and a guy like him would make it easy to fall back into old habits. He was a crutch, an escape hatch, and I
