But, overall...he was wonderful. And I really liked him.
What to do?
◆◆◆
“Pizza?”
Thirty minutes later, Ian had come back with what I’d requested, as well as a large Sicilian pizza and a bottle of wine.
I wasn’t sure how I’d keep my walls fortified against him.
I took the pizza and wine to the kitchen while he took off his shoes. While I rummaged around for the bottle opener, he came up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist.
“Anna.”
I turned around in his arms and he leaned into me, gently pinning me against the counter.
“Ian. We should—”
He surprised me with a meltingly tender kiss, thoroughly dispelling all thoughts from my mind. My hands gripped his sweater, pulling him close and holding onto him for dear life, molding my body against his. It almost hurt, how well we fit together.
He broke the kiss. “We should what?”
I met his questioning gaze, then looked away. “We...ah…” I sighed. “I shouldn’t date anyone right now.”
He slipped a hand into my hair, cupping my head and gently turning it back to face him. He searched my face. “Why?”
I leaned into his touch. “I’m just...working through some stuff. Trying to focus on my career. I don’t want to be distracted. And I mean, we’ll be coworkers soon. Hopefully. I think it’s for the best if we don’t...start anything.” I hoped he understood what I was trying to say. My thoughts were a jumbled mess.
“But...we like each other.” He cocked his head a little, unable to compute.
“Yes. But I shouldn’t—I can’t be with you. With anyone, right now.”
He let go of me and took a step back, disappointed. “I see. Then...do you want me to leave?”
I mourned his warmth, the weight of him against me. I knew that I should say yes, that I should start distancing myself from him as soon as possible. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable—it would only make things worse. But with the way he looked at me (a little bit sad, a little bit hopeful), his soothing scent, and the cold creeping into my skin...
“Not yet.” I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me, kissing him like it was the last time. It very well might’ve been.
But after that, we went through rounds three and four. Then I knocked him out in round five. By then, I think I’d finally gotten the “pent-up something” out of my system.
I tried to enjoy myself that weekend. I would worry about the long-term issues later.
◆◆◆
Ian kissed my hair and removed his arm from around my shoulders. We were lying in bed on Sunday evening, listening to an old playlist that I had made on my laptop. He hadn’t left my apartment, other than to grab more food. “I should go.”
“Okay.” I paused the music and sat up, then watched as he got dressed, enjoying the shadows that played across the ridges on his sculpted body.
A familiar tone began to play from my laptop. I checked the time. Oh! It was Cassie calling for our weekly chat.
Ian looked up, one sock halfway on. “It’s Cassie,” I explained. I connected the call, glad that I had already been wearing a t-shirt.
“Heyyy!” Cassie’s voice came through, followed by video footage of her smiling face a moment later.
“Hey, Cass.” I met Ian’s eyes. He made to continue leaving, clearly willing to keep our hookup a secret, but I shook my head and waved him over. I’d been planning on telling Cassie anyway—there was no reason to hide it.
Cassie said, “What are you look—”
He came up before the laptop and leaned over so that his head appeared upside down on the screen. “Yo, Cassie.”
Her eyes widened. “Whoa! Ian! What are you doing over there on a Sunday night?”
Ian looked at me to respond.
“He was helping me prepare for the interview.” He raised an eyebrow at me, eyes full of laughter, but he didn’t contradict me.
“Is that so?” asked Cassie, utterly unconvinced. “What kind of prep—”
“Hey Cassie,” Ian interrupted, “I’m going to go. Unless you want me to push tomorrow’s deadline on the design spec?”
“No, I need that spec! Go away and do it.”
He chuckled. “Alright, alright. Talk to you tomorrow.” He met my eyes, grinned, then let himself out.
“Girl, you need to tell me what’s going on.” Cassie demanded.
I rubbed my chin and feigned thoughtful innocence. “Ah, well...we went climbing today. No wait, that was yesterday—”
“You had sex, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but—”
“You look like you’ve been having sex all weekend.”
“Wow, what does that mean? How can you even tell?”
“Nana, your face has severe post-sex glow. I can always tell when you’ve gotten laid. I can even tell how good it was. You are positively radiant and you can’t stop smiling!”
It was true. I couldn’t stop, and my cheeks hurt a little. “Okay, fine, we had a lot of sex this weekend.”
“Thought so. How was it? I assume if you did it all weekend, it must’ve been—”
“Yeah, it was amazing. He’s just so...attentive. And patient.” I shivered at the memory of his hands. That mouth. Mmph.
“Wow, good job, Ian. So what now? Are you guys together?”
I sighed. “No.”
“What! Why? Didn’t you just say the sex—”
“Sex isn’t everything! And we’re going to be coworkers soon! And like...this weekend was nice, but I hardly know him, and what little I do know of him...I’m skeptical.”
“Nana. There are plenty of Stumpstashers who are dating, so don’t worry about that. But tell me more about why you’re skeptical.” Cassie crossed her arms and sat back, eyes hard. Her arguing pose.
I didn’t want to tell her the full truth of how I felt. I knew that some of my reasons would not hold up to scrutiny well, even if I felt strongly about them. So I listed some modified reasons off on my fingers. “Well, one, he’s a tech bro. All tech bros I have ever met have been basic nice guys who just like to watch movies and go hiking. Snore. Two, he’s
