Neither can I. The ex-boyfriend I never wanted to see again, the one who inspired my cross-country move, stands before me with an expectant grin. His arms are open and waiting to draw me back into a web I never, ever thought I’d experience again.
Before he can touch me, I take a step back. “Ethan. Hello.” My words come out as cold as I feel.
He takes the hint and shoves his hands into his front pockets. “You . . .” He blows out a breath, his eyes traveling the length of my body in open appreciation. “You’re beautiful as ever.”
I shake my head. “Don’t.” I won’t stand here and act as if we’re good pals, or former lovers. This man broke me. My trust. My confidence. He hurt me badly. I try to resurrect that old anger but come up short. Where there used to be a mountain of pain, I feel nothing. He no longer has that power over me. I breathe out a sigh of relief.
“You’re a hard woman to get hold of. I tried calling.”
“Yeah.” I almost make an excuse, but decide to be strong. “I have my life here now, Ethan, and it doesn’t include you.”
His brows shoot high on his forehead. “Okay. Wow.” He rocks back on his heels, his smile faltering. “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”
“You did.”
“But you’re good?” He almost appears concerned, and maybe he is. He might be shallow and immature, but there were moments of realness in our relationship. It’s why it hurt so much when I found him cheating.
“I’m really good.” I think of Jude. I think of all the jobs I’ve worked, and the movie set I’m on now. None of it would have been possible had Ethan not broken my heart. Our breakup was the wakeup call I needed to finally pursue my dreams. I almost thank him, but he doesn’t deserve the praise. It wasn’t him who rose from the ashes. That was all me. “You have a good night, Ethan.”
“Night,” he says, a little stunned by my curtness I’m sure, but I turn and march in the women’s restroom before he recovers. I’m over Ethan, and it feels damn good to be the one to walk away this time.
After using the restroom, I head over to the wall of mirrors to check my makeup before heading back to the gala. I’m not the only one, and it takes a moment before a space opens up. I dig in my clutch for my lipstick and lean close to the mirror to swipe the color over my lips. I’m recapping the tube as my name is called by a familiar voice for the second time tonight.
“Rae! Oh, my God!”
Surprise hits my chest when I see it’s Jenni, the nicest of my roommates. I haven’t thought about her or any of them in days, and it takes a split second for my brain to make the connection. She finishes drying her hands from across the restroom and rushes over.
“Jenni! Hi!” I don’t know what she thinks of me now, after all that went down with Crystal. I have no doubt she’s been given a skewed version of the story, but I smile and hope for the best. I’ve always liked Jenni.
“You look so glamorous.” She assesses my dress, hair, and makeup.
I do the same. She’s in a deep purple dress. It’s short and the neckline V’s deep, but with her thin figure it totally works. “I love your dress. It’s beautiful.” Her makeup is nice, but I could’ve done better. I wonder if I were still at the apartment, would she have asked me to help? My stomach drops with the thought of going back there on Monday. This week with Jude has made it easy to forget, but I can’t stay with him forever. That’d be crazy, totally, and besides, he hasn’t asked. “How are you?”
“Oh, my God. I’m great! I started working on that show I booked. It’s been incredible. Long days, but I’m acting. So it’s all good, you know?” She fiddles with the handle on her clutch, her gaze darting around as if checking for an audience. She leans forward, her voice dropping. “Anyway, I was really sad to hear about everything. Andrea told me what happened. I know how Crystal can be, and well, Kari Ann never does anything without her approval. But you’re good? Right? Obviously, you’re here, looking fantastic.”
Her concern is well intended, I’m sure, but it’s not as if she called or texted to check on me before tonight. She’s been friends with Crystal since high school, and I’m sure she wouldn’t stand up to her on my behalf. I refuse to add more fuel to the fire by sharing my feelings, but at least she acknowledges Crystal’s cattiness.
“Yeah, I’m staying with a friend.” Friend I’m about to get naked with. “And work is good. It’s so good to see you.”
“Same, girl. Same.” She reaches out and squeezes my hand. “I better get back to my date. Don’t be a stranger!” She struts from the ladies’ room with one last smile and a wave over her shoulder.
I turn back to my reflection, give myself one last look, and then head back out. It was good to see Jenni. It was great to tell Ethan good-bye. But it feels even better to be walking toward the man I want.
39
Jude
Pierce boasts, going on and on about something I could care less of. I laugh at the appropriate times, tuning him out the best I can as I keep an eye on Rachel across the room. I try not to panic when she leaves, but my attention is distracted until she returns a few minutes later. A crazy protectiveness overwhelms my common sense when it comes to her. I’m sure she used the restroom, or took a personal call, but there’s a need to have her in my
