“Why do you think I changed my last name? Google it if you don’t believe me.” She shook her head and started to head down the stairs, but I couldn’t let her end things like this. I took the sketch out of my book and handed it to her. She stared at it for a bit with a sad look and when her lip started to quiver, my heart broke even more.
“Madison, please.”
“No. You said it yourself you were going to break me, well you finally did it. You broke what little piece of me I had left.” That was the last thing she said to me before walking away. I wanted to go after her, but maybe this was suppose to happen. She deserved a whole lot better than me anyways.
Chapter Twenty Seven
Madison
Sometimes I just don’t understand my heart. How does it beat so hard for someone who could be so cruel to me in return? Most people would think I’m crazy, shit I even think that, but I can’t help who I choose to love. I choose to see the good over the bad, to forgive and hope things will get better, but what happens when they break the last piece of your heart? What do you do when the last piece of hope you had is gone? I never gave up on Jude. Even through the years my heart always came back to him, but how could I now when obviously he doesn’t feel the same.
I laid in my bed staring at the sketch he drew for me. I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was one of those rare good memories I have growing up. I’m surprised how good he remembered that day. His sketch got every detail right from what we wore to the decorations above the counter. I wonder why he picked this day? Did he cherish this memory as much as I did?
I was confused on how to feel about everything. I decided after he left me for Chanel, punching Declan in the face, and then these incoming text messages I had to be the one to walk away. I thought I would feel good making the right decision of walking away for good, but why did it feel like it wasn’t?
~.~
I took the next day off from school to take a break from everyone and everything, but my mind couldn’t stop replaying everything I said to Jude yesterday. After everything he’s done, why do I feel terrible for walking away? I should feel good for choosing me, but I feel like I lost another piece of me instead.
I decided I wasn’t going to lay here for another second and went to head for the shower, but heard Stella screaming my name from the front door. I rushed out of my room to see what was going on. Declan was already rifling through our cupboards and Stella ran right up to me, grabbed my shoulders, and said, “You will never guess what happened today! Jude went to Chanel’s table at lunch and called her out about the text messages you’ve been getting. He found out all those were from her and her sorority sisters.” Why didn’t I think that first than accusing Jude. Now I feel even worst that I blamed him.
“I should have known.” I hip bumped Declan out of the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.
“She needs help, but he kept his promise.” I looked at her confused and she continued to say, “Remember in the alley he told her one more thing she does to you, her biggest secrets will be revealed? Well she was the one who slept with Mr. Leonard back in high school!” That fucking bitch and Mr. Leonard, I have no words. I always thought he was innocent, but yet again another person who isn’t who they show to be.
“No wonder why she blamed me.”
“Damn I’m so happy to be a guy.” I threw my water bottler at Declan and the ass caught it and started chugging it.
“Don’t you have food at your house?” Declan really made himself at home to the point it felt like he lived here.
“You try finding something to eat with ten other guys living with you.”
“Enough with the food talk. Do you even want to know what Chanel did when Jude called her out in front of everyone?”
“Yeah, did she have a melt down?”
“She totally got embarrassed and her face ratted her out. She couldn’t even deny it. Her sorority sisters all got up and she started chasing them, begging not be kicked out. You shouldn’t be getting anymore texts now.” I should feel happy Chanel was finally being the one to be embarrassed, but I was now feeling even more guilty than before. I wish I never told Jude I doubted his story about what happened to him.
“What’s wrong?” Declan said with a mouth full of sandwich.
“I blamed Jude for it and said something I shouldn’t have said.”
“You can always apologize if it’s making you feel bad.” Declan suggested.
“Really? I don’t think she does.” Stella said to Declan.
“When you make a mistake, you fix it.” Declan put his sandwich down and was ready to take on Stella’s argument.
“Not when that person has been an asshole to you and done worst! Why are you even sticking up for him when he punched you in the face?” Stella was standing on a chair to make herself taller. I couldn’t stop the little giggle that slipped out. Especially when they both whipped their heads at the same time in my direction.
“Sorry.” I put a hand over my mouth to hide my smile.
Declan turned his head back at Stella and said, “Can we please never bring that up again? My team has been giving me shit all week. By the way it was a sucker punch and if I saw it coming I would have blocked it. Anyways Jude was a man
