I just stared at her, shocked.
“I cheated on him.” Jen looked down.
“What? Why?” I felt immediately defensive for Connor.
“Because I fell in love with someone else.” Jen reached out and clasped my wrist. “I’m in love with Becca, Jace.”
“Oh. Wow.” I was instantly sober.
“I’ve known for a long time.” She sighed. “It was just hard for me to admit it to myself.”
“Oh, Jen.” Her revelation was surprisingly unsurprising now that it was out. “If that’s how you feel, I’m so glad that you did. You should always be true to yourself; Connor will understand that.”
“He’s sad and confused, he’s going to need you and the guys.” She started to cry. “I love him so much, but I—”
“You can’t love him that way because you’re gay.” I pulled her to me and squeezed her tight.
“Yes.” She sobbed. “I didn’t want to hurt him, I never wanted to hurt him.”
“It will be okay.” I held my sister tight. “He’ll be okay.”
“He deserves to have someone who can love him the way he deserves. He’s the best man I know.” Jen snuggled into me. “Well, besides you.”
“I love you.” I looked at her with compassion, I really did love my sister. All of my sisters.
“I love you more.” Jen elbowed me.
“Nah.” I gave her a soft noogie. She might be older than me, but I was bigger.
Connor actually took the news as well as could be expected. In many ways, it was like a weight was lifted off him. He had remained staunchly faithful to her despite their rocky relationship and the hordes of groupies that vied four our attention each night. For the first time in the band’s history, all of us were single.
After we finished the final shows and had a few days off while the crew got our equipment sorted out and shipped to New York, the four of us went to a resort in the country. We hadn’t hung out together with no schedule and no work obligations for nearly two years, and it was a welcome break. For three days we slept, ate good food, and did nothing except jam through some of the songs we all had been writing.
The material was explosive, raw, and explored the gamut of emotions we were all feeling. Ty’s attempt to get over Zoey. Connor’s reflection on the demise of his long-term relationship with my sister. My developing feelings for Alex. Zane’s underlying anger at his father.
Anguish. Hope. Anger. Resolution.
We captured each of these emotions in the new material. All in all, it was magic.
After we heard the final masters, I’d like to say that the four of us looked at one another and knew that our lives were about to change even more than they already had.
Once the world heard our new music, however, no one could have prepared us for the type of fishbowl fame waiting for us just around the corner.
Chapter 10
ALEX
My face looked completely different after the hair and makeup people were through with me. I’d never worn so much foundation or eyeshadow in my life. I never planned to do it again. As if I weren’t already nervous enough to see Jace, I wondered if he’d even recognize me. We hadn’t been in touch in a few days, which was weird, but I figured I’d see him on set.
Dragging the long, unwieldy skirt attachment to the flesh-colored romper they dressed me in, I was led to an empty studio where I was posed on a square, white box against a green backdrop. After ten minutes of photos that I assumed were testers, I finally raised my hand to get the photographer’s attention.
“Um, excuse me, but where are the others?” I gestured around me, genuinely confused.
“What others?” Photo-dude looked at me strangely.
“The others for the photo, one of my friends is supposed to be here.”
“Um, no, we take shots of you individually, and then I’ll splice everyone together during editing.” He shot me a snobby look like I was an idiot. “You’re my last subject.”
My heart dropped to my knees. I’d been looking forward to New York for months. It had been so disappointing when I couldn’t meet Jace in London. Trying to be professional, I followed directions and finished the shoot, but broke down in tears when I got back to the dressing area. A full, blubbering meltdown. Grateful that no one was around to see me like this, I composed myself after a few minutes and found my phone.
Alex: Ru in NYC?
Jace: …
Jace: …
Jace: …
Jace: No
Alex: Where u at?
Jace: Seattle
Alex: Damn
Jace: Ru ok?
Alex: Y just sad ur not here
Jace: sorry
Alex: See u in Seattle?
Jace: leaving tomorrow
Alex: oh
Jace: sorry
Alex: me too
I hated myself for doing it, but I Googled LTZ to find out where he would be, and it looked like they had dates all across Asia for the next two months, starting with Hong Kong for New Years. A part of me wanted to drive right to JFK and jump on a flight to intercept him, but something deep inside me started putting up a wall. Jace hadn’t promised me anything, and we certainly were not a couple. It was time for me to get over my girlish crush on a man who had the world at his feet.
Freedom from chasing Jace around gave me an opportunity to have some downtime with my mom. The two of us had an extended visit from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day. It wasn’t relaxing, we made about a zillion holiday pies to fulfill her orders. Working side-by-side with my mom was strangely satisfying. It was surprising when my dad was actually complimentary about my success, as were my brother, Allen, and sister, Ariana. It felt good not to be the baby-didn’t-go-to-college-fuckup anymore, I had more money in my bank account than any of them at this point. Somehow that gave me credibility. And freedom.
Sadly,
