“Forget Carter.” I leaned back against the smooth leather of the town car. “In answer to your question, you just aren’t yourself. I mean, are you doing what you want to do? Or what Andrew and Sienna want you to do?”
Ty shot me an arrogant smile. “Fuck if I know. It sucked ass being a sober recluse emo-guy. I’m trying on party slut aggro-guy for size.”
“Dude.” I didn’t know what to say.
Ty fixed his gaze past me out the window, a faraway look in his eyes. “The thing is, when I’m onstage it all goes away. There’s nothing like it, right?”
“Yeah.”
“But after? I’m so fucking lonely. I just want that feeling of peace that I had with Zoey. I’m chasing it, and I don’t want to stop until I find it again.” Ty crossed his arms protectively around himself. “I know you think I just want to fuck her out of my system, and maybe you’re right. But, nothing else has worked.”
“It’s not working though, is it?”
“Not even a little bit.”
I was just as guilty. But fucking wasn’t the root of the problem. The party favors were.
Zane and Connor had substance abuse in their family history. Even though they had their own proclivities, both were surprisingly regimented when it came to drugs and alcohol. I’d always been able to take it or leave it. On the other hand, Ty, who at one time had been the most diligent to avoid repeating his mother’s descent into self-destruction, was on the brink of disaster.
Zane was so sick with worry that he couldn’t bear to be around him. He’s already lived through his father’s addiction.
Although Connor and Ty didn’t have the type of relationship where they confided in each other, our burly bassist often protected him when he was inebriated.
On the other hand, hours of my time had been spent dealing with the fallout on social media.
We rode in silence for a while.
“Fuck. I think I need to talk to someone.” Ty’s admission surprised me, although it shouldn’t have, his self-awareness had always been astute when he actually focused on it.
“Who? Like a counselor?”
“Maybe? Look, I know I’m acting out. I don’t want to be like my mom, and just listening to myself—Fuck, that’s exactly who I’m becoming.” Ty’s voice was barely audible, but I heard him loud and clear.
I had hoped for a breakthrough and now that it was happening, didn’t want to interrupt.
“It’s exactly who I’m becoming,” Ty repeated. His blue eyes were haunted as we pulled up to the hotel.
“My brother, you just need to be yourself. You can turn this around.” I clamped my hand on his shoulder. “I’m always here if you need to talk. We all are.”
“Yeah.” Ty squinted at me. “Thanks.”
“When you’re ready. Love you, man.” I patted his back.
Ty’s puzzled expression took me by surprise.
“I do love you. You’re my brother. And an amazingly strong man. You’ve endured a shitty childhood with grace. Your ability to craft a song from your life experience is masterful. Your voice is what makes us a band. You’re a great friend, loyal and kind. I’m lucky that you’re in my life.” Words poured out of me, which was so unusual because I wasn’t ordinarily a sentimental type. “I’m here for you, always.”
His eyes welled but, in an instant, he sniffed the tears away and let out a heavy breath to compose himself.
“I’m going to do my best to live up to that, Jace.” Ty’s deep voice was strong and firm. Then he shot me a wry smile before fixing his expression into his stage persona when he got out of the car.
Before I could get out, he popped his head back through the door and winked. “But, not tonight.”
All I could do was shake my head and vow to mind my own business going forward.
That night we put on one hell of a show. Years of touring in so many different types of venues had given us mad performance chops. Every one of us was in sync. With all of the new production bells and whistles, Belfast was officially phenomenal.
Which meant that I was on a super-high after burning off what felt like 10,000 calories beating on my drums.
The tour’s next stop was in Edinburgh, which meant the crew had to break down and pack up the stage right after the show. The entire next day would be a travel day for them followed by a day of load-in.
LTZ had two entire blessed days off in Northern Ireland before we had to catch a hopper flight to Scotland. There was discussion about a private Game of Thrones tour which we had all finally caught up on, but that night we all had an appearance at the Titanic Experience, which was closed for an LTZ exclusive afterparty.
With nine interactive galleries over multiple floors, the tourist attraction was really impressive. For logistics’ sake, it wasn’t often that we had an after-show event at such a cool location. Despite the late hour, the four of us were in great spirits. As guests of honor, we received a private tour and enjoyed all the special effects and the meticulous full-scale reconstructions of the fated ship.
Because we were in Ireland, my own pledge from earlier in the day to not drink went out the window. The Guinness and whiskey were flowing like water, and the party was like nothing I’d ever been to.
Fuck it, why not celebrate?
A few hours later, we had finished all the glad-handing and were sufficiently drunk. A traditional Irish band was playing lively songs, the partygoer’s inhibitions were beginning to loosen, and everyone was having a fantastic time.
Ty was on a bench outside one of the exhibits, sloppily making out with a redhead who was sitting on his knee. His hand was shoved into her top gripping her tits. Connor was missing. Zane was up onstage with the trad Irish band rocking out to the delight of the VIP fans who were lucky enough to
