Piercing me with his gorgeous emerald eyes, his soft hair fell in a curtain around our faces when Jace cried out and released a flood inside me.
He withdrew and cuddled me so that I lay against his chest basking in our afterglow. I felt better at that moment, but I was a realist. A night like tonight could easily happen again given the current state of affairs. It was partly my fault. Jace had been more than willing to make our relationship public. It was my insistence at keeping it secret that cost us precious time together and forced us to sneak around.
Jace’s voice jarred me out of my thoughts. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“This is such a mess.” I stroked his chest and traced his tattoos on his arms. “A mess that I’ve created.”
“I’m sorry this is hard for you.”
I yawned, struggling to keep my eyes open. “Maybe we should just tell everyone . . .”
“Yeah—” Jace’s voice was barely audible. His breathing slowed, and I knew he was sound asleep.
When I woke up at noon, Jace was long gone, but like always when he left before I got up, a sweet note was waiting for me. This time, when I checked my phone, he had also sent me a video. When I clicked play, his gorgeous yet scruffy face filled my screen.
“Poppy, I’m on my way to Madrid. I miss you already. I’ll FaceTime you when we land. Oh, and I love you!”
Of course, my heart swooned. While I loved the message, the practical protect-your-heart side of me had already kicked in. With only three weeks left on their European leg, I had to start facing facts. After shooting a television special in Seattle, LTZ would be leaving on another long stint throughout South America.
Love or not, our time together was coming to an end.
It was time to prepare myself for heartbreak.
Back in Ireland, after I cleared out my flat in Belfast, I returned to Ibiza to spend some time at a rescue I’d volunteered at when I first started.
I met up with Jace for awesome overnights in Lisbon and Cardiff with plans for a longer visit in Italy. Despite how much fun we had, I still felt myself mentally pulling away. By the time I boarded my plane to Rome, where LTZ would play their closing European festival, in my mind, the hourglass had run out.
I pushed the thoughts out of my head, though. We had a full week before Jace flew back to Seattle, and he’d arranged for a private villa in Lake Como, just the two of us. I was equally looking forward to it and dreading it. My mind was everywhere.
Using my All-Access pass, I went through the band entrance to the show. No disguises, I just laid low. Everything about the performance was incredible. Clearly, Ty was feeling better. He looked and sounded like his head was back in the game. The Italian crowd went bananas. Watching them, it was hard to reconcile this band with the version of LTZ I’d seen so many years ago at the Mission. I found myself dancing and singing along to the entire set. They had come so far.
Jace didn’t get done until well after two in the morning, mainly because of the over-the-top closing party. It was second nature to work the room, but I’d come to the realization that this lifestyle was something I’d outgrown. I was ready to move on to something more meaningful.
When we were drinking the last beer of the night, I eavesdropped on a conversation between Sienna and Andrew, the band’s new publicists who were talking about the band’s schedule for the next year or so. I learned that after the television show and the Latin America shows LTZ were recording an album in Los Angeles. There were a couple of award show appearances and a New Year’s’ Eve headlining gig in New York. After New York, they were traveling to Asia and Australia for another four-month tour. By the time they got back, after a few weeks off, the new album would be released, and the entire cycle would begin again.
In other words, Jace’s schedule was already booked up for approximately two to three years.
As much as I wanted to be with him, I just wasn’t the type of girl who would give up everything I was doing to be at his beck and call.
It didn’t surprise me when Jace dozed off in the private plane he’d chartered for the short trip from Rome to Lake Como. When we landed, a town car was waiting to drive us to the villa. It was still dark when we pulled up the private drive. Lights illuminated the path to the ornate front door. Although it was nearly dawn, a small staff in full uniforms scurried out and ushered us inside.
Exhausted, we staggered like zombies into the big master suite. The room smelled amazing, of flowers and citrus. The giant four-poster bed with a fluffy comforter was turned down, and the black-out curtains were drawn. Tumbling into bed, we wrapped around each other and promptly fell asleep, not waking up until nearly 3 p.m. the next day.
I woke first and lay still against Jace’s chest, listening to his heartbeat while he slept for God knows how long. I was thinking about how hard it must have been for Zoey to leave Ty all those years ago. In those quiet moments, I finally understood my BFF’s sacrifice. And heartbreak.
Things were just not going to work out for Jace and me. It was time for me to move on. I didn’t know how I was going to tell him.
I did know it wouldn’t be a note on the nightstand.
“Hey.” I heard him say, his voice gravelly with sleep.
“Hey.”
“I feel like I could sleep for a week.” He
