“Alex, ohmygod.” Zoey looked stricken. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you.”
“It’s okay, it was between me and Jace.” I tucked her hair behind her ears. “As it should have been. But he was leaving on tour, and the real reason we split up was that he just didn’t understand what I was doing with the rescues. He didn’t take time to learn my passions.”
“Has that changed?”
“So much! He’s basically moved in with me, and most of his stuff is at my house. He’s learning about the horses, working on the ranch.” I smiled thinking about our summer and fall together. “Everything was on track until a couple of weeks ago.”
“Until this situation that you won’t tell me about?” Zoey poked me.
“Yes.” I wanted to tell her so badly, but I couldn’t betray Jace when things were so tenuous.
“Don’t give up on him, Alex.” Zoey squeezed me. “He’s worth it. You have no idea how much he’s helped Ty over the years.”
“He’s really grown to think of Ty as a brother.”
“The feeling’s mutual.” Ty’s low voice interrupted us. “Sorry to interrupt, but Z, we need to leave in an hour and you’re not ready.”
“Shit! Alex—we need a follow-up.” Zoey shot up, kissed Ty, and made a beeline into the house.
“You and Jace going public yet?” Ty crossed his arms, his beautiful brown hair cascaded around his face.
“Gawd. Everyone already knows, don’t they? I’ve just filled Zoey in on the details, so you can get them from her if Jace hasn’t already told you.” I leaned back on the stool. “Changing subjects, I’m glad you finally found your way back to Zoey.”
“Me too.” Ty sat next to me. “But, Alex, I need to ask you something. Is there something going on with Jace that we need to know about?”
I wasn’t sure if Jace had said anything to Ty. Or if this was a test. “Why do you ask?”
“He’s not been himself for a while.” Ty squinted. “He’s always the stable one of our crazy group and he’s acting super aggro.”
I studied Ty, trying to gauge his intentions. “You’re putting me in a hard position. I’m going to tell you that, yes, he has a situation he’s dealing with, and he’ll tell you when he’s ready.”
“Fair enough.” Ty gave me a pat on the shoulder. “I’ve got to go get ready, my girl’s making her debut tonight.”
“I’m really happy you found your way back to each other.” I hugged him.
I hope Jace will find his way back to me.
Chapter 29
JACE
Just when I felt like Alex and I took some steps forward, something pulled us back again. The emotional rollercoaster of the past week was relentless and exhausting. It was more like multiple rollercoasters which had merged into one giant ball of stress and emotion.
I couldn’t remember any other time in my charmed life where everything was so complicated. My family had always been solid, my band was successful, I’d lived an amazing life on the road, now I had love with the most beautiful girl in the world.
At the same time, I had no idea how to process being a father to a little girl whose mother might have drugged me. It sure wasn’t the baby’s fault. If she was mine, I’d live up to my responsibility and probably love everything about her.
Who could I even talk to about this? I’d done a search online, and the resources for men who had been roofied were practically nonexistent. The resources that did exist were for gay men. In my case, could I have even performed if she drugged me?
To add to my confusion, I couldn’t figure out if what happened was actually rape. As hard as I tried to piece together what happened, after the first drink I couldn’t remember a thing. Did we even have sex? If we did, I’d always had great chemistry with Cassie—maybe I’d even initiated it. If she drugged me, then wow. Just fucking wow. The memory thing was fucking with my head in a big way.
And now that Cassie was dead, I’d never have any answers.
Her sister wanted some. My time for avoiding the inevitable had run out. Beginning early in the morning, Jessica had sent me about twenty threatening texts about going public to get me to “do the right thing.” Whatever that was. She was so insistent on me getting tested that I was beginning to believe that Helena was my daughter. Why else would Jessica be so determined?
Needless to say, I was overwhelmed.
All my plans to proudly show Alex off on the red carpet were off the table. Under no circumstances would I allow Jessica and her family to learn about her from the tabloid and press coverage of the event. It was better to let Ty and Zoey have their moment and for me to fade into the background as much as possible.
Like I always had done.
Alex had texted me too, but I was too stressed out to respond for most of the day. We had a long rehearsal because of the special light effects, and I just hung out in the dressing room while everyone else got ready and walked the red carpet.
Back home in Seattle, my dad had helped me find a family lawyer to make sure that the situation was handled legally, and we had a plan in place an hour before the show was supposed to start.
Poppy: Is it ok to come to the dressing room?
Jace: yes
Poppy: I’m with Zoey’s M&D.
Jace: ok
Poppy: How are you holding up?
Jace: I got a lawyer, my dad helped me.
Poppy: good
Poppy: Feel better?
Jace…
All of the guys and Zoey were hanging out in our dressing room waiting for the show. Waiting for Alex to arrive, I leaned on the edge of the sofa, shut my eyes, and tried to fend off the headache that was threatening
