“Jen, in all seriousness, I think Jace needs some help with this situation.” I took her hands. “For some reason, he doesn’t feel like I’m the one to help him, and I can understand that considering how adamant I’ve always been about children. But he won’t talk to his bandmates either.”
Jen squeezed my hands reassuringly. “I spoke to him earlier, Alex. My dad is helping him out. He has a lawyer and a plan to find out if the baby is his.”
“I love him, you guys. I hope he realizes how much someday.”
“He loves you too, his mind is a mess though.” Jen sighed; her face was etched with concern. “My baby brother has never been great at long-term relationships; he has a hard time letting someone all of the way in.”
Not wanting the conversation about her brother to go any further, I headed in the direction of my room. “I’m just going to get through the holidays, and I hope that once he knows one way or the other, then we will have some path forward together. I’m exhausted, I think I’ll go to bed.”
For the next few days, I didn’t hear a peep from Jace, and I didn’t call or text him either. As the hours and minutes ticked by, my peacefulness started to wane. Luckily, Jen fed me little tidbits of information so that I didn’t go crazy. I knew that he’d taken the test and that there was a lot of contentiousness between Helena’s family and Jace. He’d had to get a restraining order to keep them from releasing any of the allegations to the press.
As tempted as I was to show him my support, I persevered and kept my distance. Zoey had invited me over when Ty and the band were in some meetings, so I headed to Seattle to bake Christmas cookies. Not knowing whether Jace and I had a future, I’d started contemplating doing a little traveling in the new year as my backup plan.
When Zoey told me about her and Ty’s plans to travel for the next year, I thought it might be fun for us to be in some of the same places if schedules worked out. When she asked about Jace, I had to set her straight and tell her that it probably wasn’t going to work out with us. As much as I wanted to confide in her, I couldn’t bear to spill Jace’s secrets.
And as much as I was nervous to see him at Christmas dinner at Ty and Zoey’s house, a big part of me couldn’t wait. Since they were having nearly twenty people over, I arrived early in the morning to help out. Zoey’s parents were helping Ty prep the dinner while Zoey set the table.
Once we had everything ready, she and I took a few minutes to put on a hydrating face mask before the madness began.
“I really cannot believe that Ty and I are together and hosting Christmas.” Zoey’s happiness was evident. “A year ago today, I’d never have believed this would be possible.”
“I’m so happy for you guys.” I hugged my best friend. “We’ve come a long way since that night at the Mission.”
When I released our embrace, Zoey’s face contorted with uneasiness. “Will you please tell me what’s going on, Alex? I’ve never seen you so restless. So unsettled.”
Fuck it. I had to tell someone, or I’d burst. It might as well be Zoey. I spoke the words that I swore I’d never say out loud. “If I tell you something, will you promise to keep it to yourself?”
“I can’t keep secrets from Ty,” Zoey said solemnly. “We’ve made a promise because our secrets destroyed us, and we won’t do that to each other again.”
Squinting at her, I finally nodded my assent. “I can respect that, and maybe it’s for the best. Maybe Ty can help him.”
“God, what is happening?” Zoey looked scared.
“His ex-girlfriend had a baby, and then she was killed in a car crash. Her family made him take a paternity test.” I unloaded the secret. “What’s worse, is that he doesn’t remember even having sex with her.”
I almost had to use a finger to close Zoey’s mouth, which was open as wide as it would go. “How is this even possible?”
“He thinks she drugged him, he doesn’t remember anything and woke up naked in bed with her.” I shut my eyes, feeling really awful for saying anything but also a bit lighter for sharing something that was slowly killing me inside.
“Jesus. Ty drank himself into oblivion and that’s how he ended up in bed with Sienna. And it happened to Jace too?” Zoey shuddered visibly. “The lengths these bitches will go is disgusting.” In my haze of all that had happened over the past few weeks, I never connected Jace’s experience to Ty’s. “For Jace, it happened nearly two years ago. The little girl is a little over one year old. At least Ty didn’t have to worry about that.”
“Yeah, all he had to worry about was a video of her sucking his cock being played in a billion homes.”
Mentally, I thunked myself in the head. Yuck. And what a shitty friend, I forgot that the video was why Zoey had been injured.
I was about to apologize when Zoey spoke again. “Knowing Jace, he’s analyzing every part of this and leaving you out.”
Relieved that she wasn’t mad at me, I continued, “Yeah. And one big part of why he’s leaving me out is because he doesn’t think I want kids, or could raise one, or whatever.”
“When will he know?”
My voice broke and I burst out in a flood of tears. “I’m guessing he knows since I haven’t spoken to him since LA.”
“Wow.” Zoey pulled me to her. “I’m so sorry you’re going through something so intense.”
I gave her a pointed look. “Well, it doesn’t hold a candle—”
“Stop.” Zoey smothered me with a big hug. “It’s different but still intense, don’t diminish what you’re
